


So It Goes

by TGP



Series: So It's Going [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Avoidance, Body Horror, Depression, Dirk is trying to undo Bro's Damage, Dissociation, Endgame AU, Game powers, Gen, He's not great at it, Heart Attacks, Hot Dads on parade, Natural Disasters, Near Death Experiences, Pre and Post Retcon Timelines, Retcon Powers, Seizures, Self-Hatred, Shitty 80s Music, Strider Manpain, The Dog is the Mastermind, Time Shenanigans, abuse recovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-15
Updated: 2016-05-24
Packaged: 2018-06-02 08:31:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 35
Words: 56,845
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6559426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TGP/pseuds/TGP
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They managed to win the game somehow. He's not really sure of the details, but it's not all it's cracked up to be. He's stuck in an unfamiliar body with a thirteen year old little brother who's terrified of him. </p><p>Somehow, he is sure this is his fault.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was written about once a day with a couple skips here and there. Chapters were posted as soon as they were finished. They were first draft and unbeta'd, so mistakes were sure to happen.

“I remember being older,” Dave says out of the blue and not for the first time. He sits on the edge of the couch, staring towards the TV but not at it. There’s a _My Little Pony_ marathon playing, has been for hours, and it occurs to Dirk that Dave has probably not retained a single word of it because he’s still doing most things for the ironies.

“Yeah?” Dirk sets a plate of sandwiches and a cup of apple juice in front of Dave and then leans against the armrest, just watching him. “What do you remember about it?”

“I don’t,” Dave says. He tilts his head a bit, nudges sunglasses that are too big to sit higher on his nose. “I just… remember being older. I guess.”

Dirk nods. He’s stopped hoping for more. Instead, he watches as Dave cautiously examines the food without being obvious about it, but thirteen year olds aren’t exactly known for being all that good at stealth and besides, Dirk knows what to look for. He pretends to pay attention to the TV so Dave will feel safe enough to actually try eating the damn sandwich. It pays off. Once Dave’s got half of it down, Dirk gets up and heads into his room.

There’s a message from Jane waiting for him. Dirk chats with her for a while about stupid things that don’t matter, at least until she asks, “Is it any better?”

He has to think about it because the measure of “better” is difficult to decide on, considering all the differing factors.

“He didn’t not-flinch when I passed him on the way to the bathroom this morning,” is what he ends up deciding on because that, at least, is better. Even if the food caution and hoarding and lying and nightmares and a whole host of other things aren’t. Jane doesn’t pester him for anything more in depth but that’s probably because John’s waiting to go do some random fun things grandmas do with their grandsons.

Dirk thinks it’s really kind of unfair that Jane’s probably going to die before he even starts going gray.

That night, Dirk tells Dave goodnight and the kid waves a hand at him in the middle of a yawn but doesn’t say it back. It’s progress, Dirk decides. Dave’s mostly asleep on his feet and didn’t immediately wake up fully to the sound of his voice. This is progress. Baby steps, he reminds himself. That’s what the online forums called it.

Little Jade calls him up to ask about a function she’s trying to code into her robot double and he coaches her as well as he can without looking at it himself. In the background, he can just faintly make out Jake mumbling and chuckling to himself. Dirk wonders what it’s about but he doesn’t ask because it’s really awkward to talk to Jake these days.

Jake is also probably going to die before he goes gray. He’s not really okay with that.

Dirk lets himself get wrapped up in Jade’s code and offers to debug it if she’ll send it his way because that at least is a better way to spend his time than continuing with his quest to put his money into better places than a goddamn porn website. Not for the first time, he thinks about moving out to the country with Dave and, as usual, talks himself out of it because he’s pretty sure the promise of other people around the complex in case shit really goes down is about the only reason Dave hasn’t run away.

Actually, he’s not sure why Dave hasn’t run away. There’s been ample reason to and yet Dave’s stayed here. Dirk doesn’t know what to begin to think about that.

“She asked about the booze today,” Roxy tells him over the phone because they try to actually hear each other’s voices as much as they can these days. “I played it off real smooth, you would have been in awe. Redirected her right to the primo painting I just got for the living room. It was a thing of beauty. The redirect, not the painting. The painting’s good too, though.”

“Yeah, probably.” He thinks of Rose and wonders what she looks like because it’s only been a few weeks and they’re all still coordinating the big meet up.

“Come on, DiStri, celebrate with me. I’m doing this! I’m so getting an award, you just wait. The Best Parenting award.”

“If any of us do, it’s gonna be Jane,” he reminds her and she chuckles. It sounds weird when she laughs now. Her voice is so much fuller and deeper.

“Yeah, she’s got the whole cookies and milk thing down pat. Rosie looked at me like I was a super rad monster truck when I brought her some treats, only sans the super rad and the truck bits.” And this is the part that really sucks, hearing it, because he sees Dave do the same thing and he’s pretty sure Roxy’s handling it better than he is.

“Yeah.”

“You okay over there?” Roxy’s voice quiets, like she’s making sure it stays between them, and he loves her so goddamn much. “You know, maybe me and Rose could just come down now. I could get a hotel room. Not like I don’t have the cash for it. How the hell did we all end up loaded?”

He almost screams yes because he misses her and between the two of them, they could probably manage this whole parenting thing without screwing up or maybe he could just watch her do it and then copy because he is screwing up way more than she is. Rose’s behaviors are worrying, sure, but she’s not afraid for her _life_.

“Maybe you should-” take Dave back with you, but he doesn’t say that and instead spends a while listening as she rattles off travel plans and waiting until the weekend because she doesn’t want Rose to miss school. There’s apparently been a little trouble with that before and Rose doesn’t have any more sick days left this year. It’s a good thing school’s almost out, huh?

“We could fly out Friday evening,” Roxy decides and he can just barely make out the scratching of a pencil on paper. “Spend the whole weekend and come home Sunday.”

“Sounds great,” and it is all he can do to contain how relieved he is that she’s coming. She’ll look at Dave and have ideas because Roxy knows people better than him and she’ll… She’ll help him. She’ll figure out what he’s doing wrong because she probably did it wrong a couple times before figuring it out on her own, the way he can’t because nothing he tries seems to work.

Dirk jerks up at movement in the corner of his vision and Dave freezes in the doorway with a cup of juice in his hands.

“Uh,” the kid says and Dirk can just barely catch the shape of his eyes wide and staring behind his shades. “The mail guy’s here. Needs you to sign.”

“Sure. Thanks.”

Dave lingers a moment, like he’s waiting for something, but Dirk honestly has no idea what the hell it is. He turns back to his phone and senses Dave disappear to his own room. The door shuts soundlessly because Dave is afraid to attract his attention more than he has to. Dirk goes to sign for his package and sets it on the kitchen counter.

“He sounds so little,” Roxy murmurs brokenly from the phone Dirk forgot he had tucked between his ear and shoulder. He draws in a slow breath and is proud that it doesn’t go shuddery and wavering.

“I’ll call you back,” he promises even though they both know he won’t and she’ll have to be the one to reach out. He suddenly wants to get himself dead drunk even though he never has before. He doesn’t but not because of his overwhelming self control so much as the fact that he’s pretty sure it would scare the shit out of Dave and he does that enough just breathing in the same space.

Dirk goes back to his room and spends the next several hours reading more posts on the childhood abuse survivors forum he found when he first realized his situation. He decides to never wear hats. It’s not like he’s balding or anything.


	2. Chapter 2

It probably shouldn’t surprise him that Dave and Rose end up holing up in Dave’s room once she and Roxy arrive. He’s actually kind of relieved. He and Roxy chill in the kitchen, shooting the shit while she digs through his fridge.

The damn thing had been full of the shittiest swords when he woke up here.

Dirk has no idea what to think of the asshole that was his alternate self, but he’d spent the first three days here dragging weapons and creepily suggestive puppets and plushies out of every nook and cranny in the apartment. He still isn’t sure what Dave thought of all that because the kid hasn’t said word one. He’s finally gotten used to the fridge actually having food in it, though. Dirk’s been careful to watch over the supplies, see what disappears because that tells him what to fill it with because Dave sure as hell won’t. He’s still not quite confident about what kids need to be eating since the internet keeps contradicting itself.

“-And can you believe the rounds of vaccines kids need?” Roxy babbles, gesturing wildly with her slim but still too big hands. “I mean, other-me had good records, I know what Rose has gotten already, but there’s another round of them coming up and then there’s this new HPV one, too. Has Dave had all his?”

Dirk’s alternate self had barely recorded his business data, much less Dave’s medical history. He tries to figure out how to explain that to Roxy, who is being such a great parent, but he can’t. So he just shakes his head. “I’m taking him in this week.”

And he will, as soon as he figures out if Dave even has a pediatrician (the internet is pretty solid on him needing one) and who they are, and then if he’s had _any_ vaccinations. Considering he just found out last week that Dave’s home schooled because he found out that public school doesn’t let out for another couple weeks but Dave hadn’t been leaving the apartment much, he doubts Dave will give him a straight answer. Turns out, Dave had finished all his coursework early so at least Dirk doesn’t have to worry about that. He looked into it. His alternate self already filed all the needed paperwork for Dave’s grade to count and he knows where to get the stuff for next year. At least there’s that.

Dave and Rose slide out of their room and Dirk tries not to look at them because Dave gets jumpy when he pays any amount of attention to him. Dave makes a beeline for the door but Rose pauses near the kitchen to regard Roxy.

“Can we go to the mall?” she asks and she is so very proper about it. Something about it is almost… defensive. Unsure. It makes Dirk’s guts clench. He doesn’t know how Roxy’s handling it- except that’s a lie, he knows exactly how hard this is on her.

“How far is it?” Roxy is the kind of responsible parent he _should_ be. He hasn’t asked Dave where he’s going anytime he heads out because he really, really hates the way Dave’s entire body goes still and defensive, like he thinks Dirk is going to attack him at the last second.

“Couple blocks,” Dave pipes up from the door. Dirk glances at him from the corner of his eye and Dave’s got it opened but he’s waiting. He’s tense even though Dirk hasn’t said a word. _Damn_.

“Keep your phone on you,” Roxy says, smiling bright. “Give me a call after two hours so I know you’re okay. Be back before dark.”

Rose agrees and heads to meet Dave, but Dirk can’t help himself. “You need any money?”

Dave freezes, except that he manages to make it look almost natural, and then he’s looking over his shoulder with an edge of confusion to the set of his brows. Dirk hates that he keeps so much of himself controlled, that it is probably Dirk’s (alt self’s) fault.

“You offering?” Dave asks and there is an undercurrent of genuine confusion to it and some hint that Dave thinks this is some kind of joke and he’s just waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Instead of answering because he doesn’t quite trust his voice, Dirk just drags out his wallet and hands a couple twenties over. Dave stares at the outstretched cash for the few seconds it takes Rose to decide to take them for him and then they’re out the door and Dirk just slumps against the counter, raking a hand through his hair.

“Wow,” Roxy murmurs, her voice choked with pity. It’s soothed when she drags him into her arms and pats his shoulders. He is ridiculously taller than her though, so her cheek rests against his pec instead of his neck. He bends down enough to get it in the right place and then wraps unfamiliarly muscular arms around her. He misses when they were the same size.

“And that’s better?” she asks him after they’ve held each other a while and still haven’t let go. Dirk isn’t sure he will be the one to make it happen, either. He was pretty touchphobic when they first met up for real but now he thinks he might cry if she lets him go. How uncool is that?

“Yeah.”

“Jeez.” She squeezes him a little more and starts petting his hair like he’s one of her cats. “What’d that guy _do_ to him?”

He is ridiculously comforted that she keeps him and the alt completely separated. “I don’t know all the details. I didn’t even get to meet him before the end and he won’t talk to me now. I’ve been doing research and I have a few ideas but…”

She kisses his brow and squeezes him. “Not a pretty picture, huh?”

“Could be worse,” Dirk admits. He lets himself be soothed by her soft hands and the gentle scent of her perfume. It’s something flowery, a little sweet, but it’s nice. She’s so nice. “Far as I can tell, the bastard didn’t _touch_ him. Like that, I mean.”

She stills a moment and Dirk can almost feel her simultaneous rage at the idea and relief that it didn’t happen. It flushes out of her within a few seconds but Dirk feels bad about it anyway and gives her back a few awkward pats. She snorts against his shoulder.

“You are so incredibly bad at this,” she giggles out and he knows she means the hug but he’s pretty sure he’s terrible at this parenting and being friends thing, too.

“We can’t all be Jane.”

“Damn straight. Oh man, so story time,” she begins and then starts telling him about meeting Rose’s teacher for a conference and apparently adults don’t actually do the cussing thing in public much? Unless they’re like old and drunk or something, but Roxy didn’t know that until the teacher…

Dirk closes his eyes and lets himself be soothed by her voice, her embrace, her perfume. He loves her so much it hurts sometimes but right now it’s just nice and warm. He hopes someday that he can give this to someone else. Maybe Dave.

Eventually, they break apart but Dirk will be damned if he can figure out who let go first. They take the party to the futon.

“This thing is a piece of shit, Dirk,” Roxy notices, bouncing a little. As much as the broken springs will let her, anyway. “Are you seriously sleeping on this biznatch?”

“Well. One bedroom and all that,” Dirk says. He’s been thinking of replacing the thing but the forums all say big changes can set back recoveries and he’s got no idea what kind of emotional attachment Dave might have to it. He wouldn’t admit it if Dirk asked and while he’s getting better at recognizing what Dave’s feeling through body clues, it’s pretty much always terror and watchfulness when Dirk’s talking.

“Maybe you should get a new place.” Roxy pokes at a suspicious stain Dirk hadn’t been able to recognize either. “Something with enough room for _two_ beds. Don’t you miss having a bedroom?”

He does but Dave having somewhere to escape to is more important. The forums are clear on that one. Besides, all Dave’s stuff had been in there already when he woke up.

“Maybe later,” he decides. “When Dave’s more....”

He’s not sure how he wanted to finish that. Roxy’s nothing but compassion and sympathy beside him.

“Are you okay?” she murmurs ever so soft, like she’s afraid someone might overhear.

He could lie. She’d know it, but she’d let him, if he wanted to. He could pretend he was coping well to suddenly being an adult, suddenly being responsible for a little brother, suddenly having to handle a severely abused kid who won’t admit it, suddenly _everything…_

He doesn’t. “No.”

Roxy leans her head against his shoulder. She’s soft and warm and it’s so nice to have her here.

“Me neither,” she admits.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy inspiration batman. Like, most of this was actually already written, I just suddenly ended up finishing it this morning lol.


	3. Chapter 3

It’s 4 A.M. Saturday morning and Dirk can’t sleep. The kids quieted down a couple hours ago. Roxy’s sleeping at the hotel because the futon doesn’t actually lay down anymore and she veto’d Dirk sleeping on the floor. To be honest, the floor would probably be better. At least there wouldn’t be any springs poking into him.

It’s 4 A.M. and Dirk is staring up at the ceiling, counting tiny divots and mapping out constellations because he can’t sleep. It’s not like this is rare. He doesn’t sleep half the nights a week. There’s so much noise and activity happening outside. Houston never really goes to sleep all the way and even a single car on the street below can jerk Dirk from a light doze. He’s considered getting a noise machine, maybe something ocean-y. He kind of hates the ocean now but it would be familiar. Soothing in a way.

He managed to get through all of Friday evening without causing any huge faux pas. They’d had dinner, the four of them, and as long as Dirk stayed quiet, Roxy and the kids had kept things lively. Thing is, Roxy kept trying to bring Dirk into it and he’d given her enough to satisfy until she realized how quiet Dave had gotten and then she was back to urging him out of his shell. It’d been kind of painful to watch and the whole time, Rose had watched him like a hawk.

He can only imagine what Rose thinks of him. He doesn’t know how much Dave told her because Dave doesn’t seem to have really let go and confided in anyone ever, but he’s pretty sure she knows at least some of it, maybe gleaned from off comments. She’s treated him with utmost respect and a kind of underhanded probing. He doesn’t know what she’s looking for and he’s kind of scared of letting her find it.

After dinner, they’d come back and the kids had holed up in Dave’s room again while Roxy sat out with Dirk and assured him things were fine, it would get better, there was hope. Dirk wants to believe her. He really does.

A sound rouses Dirk from his thoughts. He stays still, recognizing Dave’s door opening and wanting to cause as little distress as possible. Things are quiet a moment and then he hears light footfalls on the carpet he’s cleaned ten times since waking up but is still sticky in places. At first, he thinks Dave is going to the bathroom and then realises that the steps are coming closer. Dirk takes a chance and twists his head up to peer over the armrest.

Rose stares back at him in a ridiculously floofy nightgown. There’s ruffles and ribbons and lace around the bottom at her knees that matches the collar and the edges of her short sleeves. He can’t quite tell the color in the dark, but he’s pretty sure it’s purple. He forces himself to look back at her face, to quit hiding from her curious gaze. It takes him a few seconds.

“Are you awake?” she asks even though it is perfectly apparent that he is.

He sits up. “Something wrong?”

“Wrong?” She smiles a little, like that is incredibly funny but also something she could stand to be bitter about. Shaking her head a little, she moves to sit down next to him, leaving plenty of space between them, and folds her hands in her lap. “I’m not sure, Mr. Strider, but twenty days ago, someone else woke up in my mother’s skin.”

Dirk’s insides clench so hard it hurts. “You kn-”

“She’s a lot different than my mother,” Rose says almost offhandedly, almost like it doesn’t bother her when Dirk has never been more sure that it does. She tilts her head up, regards the ceiling, then adds, “Dave said you changed at the same time. And apparently my friend Jade’s grandfather has as well.”

She doesn’t mention John but honestly, what little Jane has described of him, he doesn’t seem the most observant kid on the block. Before Dirk can voice anything about that, though, Rose sets her gaze on him and he feels paralyzed from the inside.

“I’m inclined to listen if you’ll explain.”

It sounds so simple, almost innocent. Dirk almost does and then he stops because this is a thirteen year old kid who thinks her mom got body snatched. It is not going to go down pretty if he botches this up. Dirk takes a breath as he shifts to lean his elbows to his knees. He stares at a stain in the carpet he hadn’t been able to get out yet.

“Look, you don’t really know what you’re asking for here,” Dirk starts and then feels something _shift._ A sudden electricity sparks in the air around him and he has no idea what’s going on but he’s on his feet and- and so is Rose. She stares at him except it’s like she’s looking _through_ him and-

“I see a boy playing at being a man,” she says, far away and like she’s not really talking to _him_. “I see a world of water, the end of all things, the-”

He doesn’t realize he’s moving until his hands are on her face and she shocks out of the Seer fugue to stare at him. Her expression is uncharacteristically open, full of shock and fear and he hates that for her.

“Stop looking,” he tells her. “Just stop looking. You deserve not to remember. Just keep being a kid and…”

His throat is tight. His voice chokes off. He just keeps staring at her and she stares back at him as she tries to understand but can’t. She has no reference for what she’s seen.

“What happened to us?” she whispers out so soft, so certain that he will sort this out and where the hell did that kind of trust come from?

“It doesn’t matter now. It’s over. It’s done.” He wants that to be true with every fiber of his being.

“Does anyone else-” She stops and jerks back from him. There is something so unsettled in her and he can’t even begin to soothe it. “Mom. Jade’s grandfather. You. You all know. You are all different because you _know._ ”

He nods. He can’t not confirm what she’s Seen. He didn’t know any of their game powers carried over but somehow it seems fitting for hers to be the first to show up. She stares off at nothing, her hands curled tight in her nightgown.

“Your mom is going to take care of you,” he manages, even though it can’t be much comfort. “She’s a good person. She’ll make sure you’re okay.”

Rose doesn’t even twitch. “You’re not.”

It feels like he’s just been _shot_. Dirk doesn’t disagree, though. He just sits back down and stares at the blank TV. It’s one thing to know he’s a terrible person and a terrible guardian and a failure in all counts. It’s another thing to have a goddamn Seer tell him.

They sit in silence for a long time and Dirk listens to the cars passing below.

“I meant the other you,” Rose says softly but Dirk isn’t sure he’s any better than the other him. “You are at least trying to make things right between you.”

“And failing.”

She snorts quietly. “Dave’s is not the easiest mind to change.”

She doesn’t say it’s possible or that he’ll succeed. He doubts she knows how things are going to go. She may have some inkling of her game powers but they’re probably mostly closed off right now. He kind of hopes she’ll leave well enough alone and not pursue them, but that is probably a bad bet to make.

Reaching over, she takes his hand. Her fingers are a little cold but they warm up quick against his own. “What is your name?”

He hesitates, looking back at her, and Rose waits patiently. “... Dirk. Dirk Strider.”

“How old are you?”

“Thirty something. I haven’t really bothered with the math.” She waits and he huffs out a breath. “Seventeenish. It’s hard to know for sure.”

Rose glances off, considering. Then she squeezes his hand and murmurs, “It’s nice to meet you, Dirk Strider.”

His chest is tight. His eyes burn a little. He doesn’t know what the hell to do.

“Yeah,” he says quietly. “It’s nice to meet you, too, Rose Lalonde.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This conversation came out of left field. I was going to go into Sunday but noooope Rose decided she needed a say.


	4. Chapter 4

Dave spends all of Saturday morning staring at him. It’s kind of creepy as fuck but Dirk is not about to tell him not to. It’s the most attention Dave has openly given him since this all started. He wants to think it’s a good sign but he doubts that and he’s pretty sure it has to do with Rose. She’s acting like nothing happened which makes Dirk doubly sure she said _something_ to Dave.

Dirk kind of really hates not knowing for sure. He’s extra careful not to make any sudden moves as he makes breakfast. He figures they can’t find any terrible hidden meaning to pancakes and bacon. Now bagels, that can get pretty heated according to the internet. Something about a war between lox, cream cheese, and jam… He didn’t really read too much into it because it seems kind of insane to him that people would be so particular about food.

It’s a mostly quiet meal. Rose talks and sometimes Dave responds to her but neither of them say anything to Dirk except for thank yous and please pass the syrup. He’s relieved not to be required to add anything but there’s also the weird way his stomach keeps rolling like it’s having a feeling he doesn’t really want to know about.

Thankfully, Roxy shows up a little after breakfast while Dirk’s cleaning up the dishes. She immediately launches herself at his back, wrapping her arms around him tight.

“I have the _best_ idea!” she exclaims as she releases him a little earlier than he really wanted. “We’re going out!”

“Out?” Out like… not his apartment? Out like _out?_ He doubts she means the market which is the only place he’s really manage to make himself go so far and only because they had almost no food left. It’s not like he knows how to drive the car he has keys for. Or even what it looks like.

“Just wait, I am going to treat us to the _best day ever!_ ”

“That’s quite the ambition, Miss Lalonde.”

“It’s a promise, Mr. Strider. Now finish up while I round up the chidlins.”

Dirk turns back to the dishes and tries ignore the way his stomach feels like it’s dropping to his feet. He can do this. They’re just, you know, wading out into the masses. It’s not like he’s got to go fight demons and sea witches again. Besides, Roxy’s got his back. He can do this.

He doesn’t know where she got the knack but Roxy seems to effortlessly cajole and nudge the kids into getting dressed and cleaned up for the day way faster than Dirk expected. By the time he’s got the kitchen back to rights, they’re letting themselves get led towards the door. Dirk straightens the collar of his shirt and wonders if it would destroy Dave’s mind if he went and bought a bunch of t-shirts. There’s nothing wrong with polos but he really hates the way the collar feels around his neck. For some reason, his alt owned nothing but polos and black slacks. Now that he’s thinking about it, jeans would not be amiss either. He’ll ask Roxy’s opinion, maybe even Rose’s. She knew Dave best, after all.

Dirk locks up the apartment and takes the stairs when Roxy and the kids pile into the tiny elevator and find it actually working today. He doesn’t respond to Roxy calling out to him, just walking past to race down the couple dozen flights. He skips about half the steps, then gets bored of that and jumps from flight to flight across the gaping center because he can and he’s kind of antsy from lack of exercise. Some poor woman from one of the doors starts out just as he jumps past and lets out a strangled noise. Dirk stops and gives her a stare as she ducks back into her apartment. He’s not really sure about the protocol here. Should he make sure she’s okay…? Hearing the ding of the elevator hitting the bottom level decides it for him. He goes on and meets them just as the doors finish opening completely. Roxy’s eyebrows shoot up as he just drops the last floor and lands near them. Rose looks amused behind surprise. And Dave…

Dave jerks back a step and stares at him. He doesn’t look surprised, his face Strider perfect, but there is definitely something wrong there and Dirk starts tearing into himself for being so stupid. He hadn’t meant to sneak up or startle them, he’d just… Well. Okay, normal stair taking. Gotcha.

“Let’s go,” he prompts and both Dave and Rose hurry towards the outer door. Roxy brushes her shoulder to his arm on passing, shooting him an affectionate glance, and then he follows them out.

There’s no way to avoid a cramped cab ride. Roxy flags one down like a pro and there’s a moment when Dave looks at Dirk, opens his mouth like he’s going to ask something, and then he doesn’t. They all cram inside and Dirk ends up on one side and Dave the other with the Lalondes between them.

“Where to?” the cabbie asks, obscenely cheerful in a way that gets Roxy sparkling.

“Do you know where the Children’s Museum is?”

Wait _what_. Dirk stares at her but it turns out the cabbie does know where it is and off they go. A _children’s museum?_ _Really?_ He glances at Rose and Dave but they look thoughtful rather than offended.

“Just wait,” Roxy says and she is almost vibrating with energy. She starts going on about the exhibits and nudging Rose and Dave into responding and leaving Dirk to sit there and slowly reconsider his life choices.

It turns out he’s not too off his suspicions when they get there. The museum is loud and full of other people’s kids, most of them a don younger than theirs. Dirk isn’t exactly great at crowds yet but he refuses to let them run him off. He tries to concentrate on the brightly colored decorations and a pamphlet one of the friendly greeters shoves into his hands.

A three year old slams full throttle into the back of his leg and Dirk almost twists around and kicks it into the atmosphere. He doesn’t, barely, and instead stares down at the crying kid until its mother shows up to apologize and carry it off. His leg feels uncomfortably warm and itchy like he’s been infected with something. Dirk swallows and glances at Roxy, who’s laughing about the whole thing. He flatly refuses to ruin this for her so he doesn’t say anything.

Roxy pays for all of them even though Dirk can damn well handle himself and Dave. She doesn’t even ask first. Instead, she just gives both Rose and Dave a map of the place and sets them loose.

“Call me in an hour!” she calls after them as they take the opportunity to split. Dirk’s not sure there’s any answer but Roxy looks satisfied anyway. She curls her arm in his and confidently drags him around the museum. And… It is a little easier to manage all of it when she’s the one calling the shots. She doesn’t make him go into any of the truly busy spots and lets him just kind of watch as she fiddles with this or that. He thinks he would probably really dig this place if there wasn’t anyone around. And also if he were ten years old.

Rose does call them in an hour to advise that she and Dave are still breathing and then apparently they go back to wandering to their fancy. And Dirk has to admit, it’s kind of nice not to have Dave’s oppressive _presence_ around, just waiting for Dirk to screw up again.

The water area clears out by the time they get back to it so Dirk and Roxy hang there a bit pretending they’re stupid kids on a day trip.

“Thanks,” he says without looking at her. “For coming.”

“Are you kidding?” She splashes at him and smiles so big and bright that he can’t help returning it a little. “I told you I had the best ideas ever.”

She kind of does.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh I did not actually expect this story to do as well as it's doing. Thank you very much. I am trying to be cool. I am failing utterly.


	5. Chapter 5

They meet up for lunch. Rose shoves her phone in Dirk’s face to show off pictures she’d taken of Dave spazzing out over a bunch of baby chicks. Apparently this place has some kind of farm station. They are legitimately adorable pictures, even if Dave sputters something about Rose leaving his dignity in tact. Dirk just leans his head back a bit so he can see properly and then gives every single picture his attention.

“Can you email these to me?” he asks and Rose grins. “I feel the greatest parental need to plaster them all over the apartment.”

“ _Oh my god, Bro, no-_ ”

“It would be my pleasure,” Rose croons and Dirk spends another while reviewing the photos to figure out which ones are his favorites. Dave is acting like a normal, embarrassed kid right in front of him and Dirk milks it for as long as he can.

Rose tugs her phone back eventually but only so she can show off to Roxy, too. And that’s nice to watch, the way Rose is feeling things out with her not-mother who is her mother now. Dirk can tell that Roxy is pretty ecstatic about and she goes extra far in complimenting Rose’s photography style while also teasing Dave. Dave looks heavenward like he’s hoping he’ll get struck from above the more Roxy gushes. When she gives his cheek a playful pinch, he’s absolutely scandalized. It’s enough that Dirk can’t help the little laugh that escapes him.

And then Dave jerks his gaze to him and stills and Dirk immediately stops. There’s a moment there as Dave stares at him. He seems to want to say something but he doesn’t. And then the moment, whatever it is, ends. Dave goes back to being embarrassed over Roxy, who doesn’t seem to have noticed anything’s happened.

Rose does. She glances between him and Dave like she’s trying to figure something out or maybe like she already has and just doesn’t know when to present her findings. He doesn’t get her all that well yet but he thinks he might be able to if he tries. Not that he’ll get the chance to, since she and Roxy are going home tomorrow.

And isn’t that a downer. Dirk reminds himself that he can’t follow them home because a huge change in Dave’s environment like that is absolutely _terrible_ for his recovery. Even if Roxy’s presence seems to be helping… He thinks again about asking her to take Dave with her. Surely her parental aptitude could counteract whatever damage the move could do…

As soon as the food is gone, Rose grabs Dave’s hand and drags him off again and then Roxy goes from 100% smiles to absolute seriousness in a second flat.

“We’re going to the Invention Convention and building race cars,” she says with the graveness of an undertaker. It takes him a few seconds to realize what she actually said and by then, she’s already carting their trays over to the trash cans.

“Roxy-”

“Our cars are going to _smoke_ everyone else. I just know it.”

He stares at the back of her head as she shoves the food packages off and then drops the tray on top of the can for some hapless employee to collect later. By the time she turns around, she’s all smiles again. She grabs his arm, looping her own in it, and starts babbling about the stuff she read online for this place. Dirk is pretty sure he’s missing something but he’s not sure how to bring it up when Roxy very obviously doesn’t want to talk about it.

The Invention Convention is a pretty popular exhibit so they end up dodging a couple kids on the way in. They’re older than the one that bumped into him before and they completely don’t care that a couple childless adults just intruded. It’s pretty loud in there but the whole feel of it is focus and intent, something that makes him feel a little more at home even if he is surrounded by people.

Roxy tugs him over to the race car area where a half dozen kids are constructing an array of things he’s sure are supposed to be cars but few that actually look like it. Dirk gives the various pieces a look over. They’re rudimentary interlocking blocks of various sizes and colors, a few specialty blocks for axles and windows. Nothing electronic, nothing to make a motor out of. As Roxy gets in on the blocks, he sights out the race tracks. Simple down hills. Okay. Time to work some magic on gravity.

Dirk takes a breath and then lets himself fall into his making fugue. He’s not sure how long it takes for him to sift through pieces, select them as carefully as he would a robotic component, and slowly construct his car from the bottom up. He doesn’t look at Roxy’s, doesn’t bother paying attention to the kids or the noise. He just lets himself make.

At some later point, he’s got a completed car in his hands, as streamlined as he could manage with triangular pieces to cut down on the wind resistance and extra weight in front to give it a fall bonus. He balances it on his fingers and spends a few minutes making sure everything is snapped together seamlessly. It’s so relaxing to just make something for no other reason than to make it. And then he looks at Roxy beside him and she grins real big, holding up her own. It’s got a cat face and ears. He is not surprised and he find his chest clenching with just how goddamn much he love this girl. Woman. Whatever.

There’s a couple kids at the track so the two of them stand around watching. Dirk takes note of the impractical designs, taking them apart in his head and refitting them into more suitable configurations. Some of them aren’t really that bad. He could do them all better. When it's finally their turn, Dirk readies his car on one side while Roxy slots hers into the other.

“Thanks,” Dirk says and he’s not entirely sure for _what_ , exactly, but he knows he needs her to know. Roxy laughs and bumps her shoulder to his arm.

“For teaching you the meaning of losing gracefully? You bet, DiStri.”

He smiles, a little and on the inside.

Turns out that Roxy’s catmobile isn’t quite as crappy a design as he’d first thought, but he still wins by a good margin. And then some kid pipes up behind him that he’s playing winner, which means Dirk has to race him. Another kid says the same thing so Dirk has to race her, too, and then four other kids after that.

He catches a couple moms giving him a weird, doe eyed look that is intensely uncomfortable and then notices one of them saying something to Roxy that apparently shocks the shit out of her because she jerks, blushing bright red and starts waving her off. He catches the tale end as she her voice raises in pitch and volume, “No, no, no, no, not even. You have _no_ idea how wrong that is.”

She’s still laughing as she comes back to his side but it’s the tight, embarrassed laugh he doesn’t like. Roxy grabs his wrist in a killer grip and he hands his car to the latest loser for safe keeping as he follows her out again.

“Uh, you okay?” he asks and Roxy laughs again.

“Just fine! The best! You don’t even know!”

He doubts that but he lets it go. She’ll tell him later if he needs to know. After another half hour of wandering the museum, she seems normal again. Mostly.

It’s near close before they gather the kids and head back to the apartment. Dave’s silent the whole way, in a way that seems to vibrate with unsaid words and nervous tension. Dirk’s go not idea what that means but when they get to the apartment, Rose decides not to sleep over again. Roxy gives him a loaded glance but Dirk has no idea what to think so he just nods and watches them drive off in the cab.

Dave turns as soon as they’re out of sight and heads for the elevator without a word. Dirk hangs back a second, wondering why the hell he thinks he’s suddenly in a dangerous situation, but… Well. It’s his apartment, too. Swallowing, he starts after him and sees the doors of the elevator closing Dave inside. Okay. Stairs then.

Without gravity or acrobatics to lend him speed, Dirk ends up at their apartment a while later. Dave’s already holed up in his room again with the door firmly closed. Well. So much for a good day between them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's so late today. Had a busy day at work.


	6. Chapter 6

It takes a while for Dirk to settle down enough to sleep. It’s the wee hours and his dreams end up becoming a knot of nightmares and tension, so he’s not actually that mad when it gets interrupted sometime before dawn.

“You don’t even have a single, solitary clue what you’re doing, do you?”

Dirk startles awake to Dave standing over him and how the hell did he not hear the kid moving around. Dave’s good but Dirk’s been on a hair trigger at best. He guesses he must have been more tired than he thought. It’s not like sleep has been all that easy since the game ended. Dave’s staring at him with as little expression as possible and actually succeeding in doing the whole blank Strider face pretty well, honestly. Dirk has absolutely no idea what’s going on in his head.

“Uh,” he manages.

“Did you like hack into my computer to find out about the Lalondes or something?”

Dirk blinks. He sits up slowly but it still makes Dave flinch back a step like he thinks Dirk will hit him. Despite the front he’s throwing up right now, he’s still terrified and it shows in the way he’s light on his feet and ready to dodge at a moment’s notice. Dirk decides to stay as still as possible and does _not_ stand up. Dave’s still pretty short at this age, so he’s only got a handful of inches on him standing. Maybe that’s helping his confidence.

“I knew Roxy,” he admits easily. “I’d heard of Rose.”

Dave considers this. “Did they tell you to stop strifing with me?”

Wait, _what?_ Dirk can’t stop himself from looking over Dave. And yeah, he guesses Dave’s a little more solid than most kids that age (probably? He doesn’t really have much to compare it to) and better muscled, as far as Dirk can tell by the musculature in his arms. And the kid is fast as hell, well balanced, and has a steadier stance than Dirk would expect from anyone who hadn’t been fighting a while, like some of the kids he’d met in the game…

He hadn’t thought Dave’s Bro was actively fighting with him though. He knew there was some kind of abuse because people don’t get like Dave without it, but he’d figured maybe his brother had pushed him around, maybe beat his ass over stupid things, the kind of thing he read about on the forum. Suddenly a couple of the well healed slash marks he’s seen on Dave’s skin make a lot more sense. Well fuck.

Is he supposed to strife Dave now? It would be the normal thing in Dave’s world but Dirk really, really doesn’t want to hurt him _ever_. And Dirk’s pretty good with his sword but he doesn’t think he’s good enough not to hurt Dave on accident, especially since he has no idea how Dave fights. He caught flashes of it in the end but not nearly enough.

“Do you want to strife?” he asks, hoping the answer will be no.

Instead, the answer in absolute silence as Dave stares at him stony and offended.

“I mean, I guess I could use the exercise,” Dirk tries again and this seems to go even worse.

“Don’t strain yourself,” Dave says and then he turns and starts back towards his room.

Dirk has no idea what the hell he did wrong. He stares after the kid, guts churning and reminding him of just how fucking badly he’s doing right now. He is the worst and this is the worst anyone could do and he should be ashamed of himself.

He’s going to ask Roxy to take Dave back with her tomorrow. It’s the best thing he can do for him. Dave will understand eventually, or maybe he won’t but that’s okay, too.

“My bad,” Dirk mumbles because he can’t _not_ say something. It’s the only thing he can think to say that isn’t some wandering and pointless monologue and since waking up in this older body, he’s found himself doing that a lot less. He’s not sure if it’s his unfamiliar environment or something to do with adult brain chemistry. He should probably test that. He could write a paper on it, maybe. People do that in this time period. It could get him famous.

Dave stops dead a step from his door. He stands very still for nearly a minute before turning and staring at him. And… Dirk has absolutely no idea what caught him. He doesn’t think that it’s so bad, but maybe Dave is used to a better level of apology-

Oh.

Dirk stares back at him without backing down. Dave’s just going to have to get used to this kinder, friendlier brother until tomorrow when he can go with Roxy and she will fix everything and Dirk can go hide in a deep, dark hole while rethinking his life choices.

He watches Dave’s mouth open and then close, like he’s sure he’s supposed to say something but has no idea what it is. Dirk can relate. After a bit, Dave just swallows back whatever is churning in his skull and disappears into his bedroom.

It’s not exactly relief that fills Dirk but more a sudden release of expectation. He slumps back onto the futon and then turns to hide his face against the rough cushion back. He kind of wants to scream into it but he doesn’t because that would scare Dave. He maybe wants to run for a couple hours, but that would leave Dave alone. He definitely wants to go outside, though, and that’s the one that wins.

Despite the darkness, it’s still oppressively hot outside. He sits on the edge of the roof and stares out of the city. He misses the smell of salt water and the sea spray. He misses his stars. Everything is just subtly out of place in the sky and he feels so much more lost now that he’s staring at them. It’s like he’s somewhere completely different instead of at the top of his tower-house.

He doesn’t miss being alone but he does miss when everything was familiar and he knew what he was doing and why.

His phone rings. He answers without thinking because only two people have the number (technically, Jake probably has it but he never calls.)

“Dirk?” Her voice is low and thin, edged with age and a sleepy strain. He’s talked to her a couple times on the phone but it still takes him a second or two to recognize what she sounds like now.

“Hey, Jane.”

“You’ll have to forgive the hour,” she starts, yawning part way through. “But I had the most awful feeling you were probably awake.”

He snorts. “You would be correct.”

“Well, at least I didn’t wake you.” He can hear her shift around a bit before settling again. “So, what are you worrying too much about now?”

“Why are you so sure I’m worrying? I could just be an insomniac. Yeah, I’m going with that.”

“ _Dirk Strider_ ,” she says and wow, suddenly that sounds almost like something he would listen to. He realizes he’s sat up straighter and then purposely relaxes himself again. He can’t stop the urge to spill to her, though. The grandma voice is pretty convincing.

“It’s Dave.” He’s kind of surprised he gets that out though, and then the rest just kind of spills out. “I’m fucking up with him. And I keep trying to do better and just fuck up worse. And I think I’m screwing him up.”

“You’re not screwing-”

“I’m gonna ask Roxy to take him back with her.”

Jane doesn’t answer.

“She’s doing good with Rose,” Dirk explains. “She’s-”

“ _Don’t you dare do that to her!_ ”

Dirk jerks a little at the hot edge of anger in Jane’s voice, staring ahead wide eyed like she’s in front of him.

“Dirk Strider, you should be _ashamed of yourself!_ You know Roxy’s got her hands full already and now you want to drop your kid on her, too? And how do you think _Dave_ would react to being sent off who knows where with people he barely knows?!”

He… kind of admits she has some points. Dirk scratches the back of his neck and then gets up and starts pacing the roof. It doesn’t make him feel any better but it at least takes care of some of the nervous energy.

“Okay,” he mutters. “Okay, I get it. That is a terrible idea and I am a terrible person.”

Jane sighs a little over the line. “Don’t start, you silly scamp. Just don’t make decisions like that without talking to me first. You have the common sense God gave a hamster.”

“Rude much.”

“How about this: next time you decide it’s time to make a kneejerk decision about your brother, you are required to call me first so I can talk you out of it and I will then send you a pie.”

Dirk thinks about that for a second. He _does_ love a good baked good. “What flavor?”

“You’ll just have to keep me in the loop and find out,” she says sneakily like the sneaky sneak she is.

“Okay. You’ve convinced me, you conniver. Deal.”

Jane sounds pleased as a well fed cat after that. They discuss a few tips and tricks to handling pubescent kids, she gives Dirk a few ideas to try out, and then she makes him promise again to call her if he gets “a case of the screaming meemies” again. By the time they hang up, he feels a lot better. Not great, but better. Dirk goes back inside and crashes _hard_. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about not giving y'all a chapter yesterday but it was an awful, irritating day so I opted to play Stardew Valley for several hours instead. On the upside, today's chapter is a little longer than usual.


	7. Chapter 7

Dirk wakes up to the smell of eggs and something like cheese, but not the yellow processed stuff he’s used to, some other kind that makes his mouth water like nothing else. And are those potatoes? And… something green, that smells distinctly green. It takes a few minutes before the gnawing need in his belly actually makes him want to get up because he is still pretty fucking tired.

Now that he’s paying attention, there are whispered voices in the kitchenette. They aren’t quiet enough for him to miss but he only catches a word here and there. He thinks Roxy must be here, chatting up Dave or- no that is definitely Dave in there, but he’s sure Rose is, too. That makes him stay still a while longer because if Dave is getting the whole human interaction thing without abject terror, Dirk is very much for it.

“David L. Strider, I’m surprised at you!”

Abruptly, Dirk is totally awake and wondering what the _hell_ Dave said to invoke that from Roxy of _all_ people. He peeks over the back of the futon and get the full image of maternal rage, complete with hands on hips, foot tapping, the whole nine yards. Dirk wouldn’t have thought her capable. Maybe she’s getting weird signals from adult brain chemistry, too.

Also, how did she know Dave’s middle initial? Dirk didn’t even know Dave _had_ a middle name. He still hasn’t found the kid’s birth certificate that he is sure must be around because how else would Dave be able to get schooled, even if it is homeschooling.

Dave just stares back at her from where he’s leaning against a counter with his plate, like he doesn’t get why any of this is a big deal. Rose catches Dirk’s gaze and then looks back at Roxy as if she hadn’t noticed him. Dirk has to wonder just what scheme she’s running now.

“When your brother wakes up, you’re apologising to him. _Got it?_ ”

“...Yeah, sure. Also, you are missing the part where you are _not my mom_.”

Whelp. Aaaaand that’s a little too far. It hits Roxy like a slap in the face and her anger fractures, not gone but certainly rattled. Dirk gets up and ignores the way he’s suddenly got three sets of eyes on him as he rounds the futon.

“Guess who’s grounded to their room without internet for the day?” he says as casually as possible. Dave doesn’t say anything but there is something there, something like fear but not really, and then something that is confused, and Dirk realizes this is probably the lightest punishment the kid has ever received. Well. Uh. back up. Shit, did he just really discipline his severely abused little brother? Did he do it _right?_ Was it too much, too little? Fuck, he has no idea what he’s doing here.

Dave doesn’t say anything. Dirk gives him an extra hard look. Abruptly, Dave sets down his plate and starts for his room. “Whatever.”

Dirk lets out the breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding after the door slams shut. He feels a bump against his arm and looks to Roxy, who gives him an awkward little smile.

“Wow, such authority. Double swoon.” Her voice is wavering a little but it’s not too bad off. She’s not really upset, just like a little because his kid is a goddamn punk.

“You appear to be settling into your role well,” Rose says over the lip of her cup. She looks so cool and collected, Dirk has no idea how, considering she knows about them. Abruptly, he wonders if she’s told Roxy or just him. And he has the terrible suspicion that it _is_ just him, since Roxy gives her a clueless glance. Uh. That is probably a thing they should air out.

First though. “Is his legal name actually David?”

“...Nope. But David sounds so much more official than Dave,” Roxy admits. And then she stops. And then she stares at Dirk wide eyed a moment before jerking her gaze to Rose, who does not look at all surprised that Dirk doesn’t know the legal name of the little brother he apparently raised for thirteen years.

“So, Rose knows,” Dirk says because he is kind of an asshole and doesn’t know a better way to explain it.

“You…” Roxy stares a bit more and Rose stares back and damn is there a lot of looking at people going on here. Dirk leans back against a counter and folds his arms because it makes him feel a little less like he’s about to get flayed open, or worse see someone else have the same happen. “Since when?! I’ve been trying so hard!”

And Dirk’s chest clenches because he knows she has and wow, now he feels _really_ bad for letting her know, but… It’s probably for the best.

“My mother didn’t try like that and she usually just threw ridiculously expensive gifts my way rather than simply saying she loved me all the time,” Rose says, calm and almost gentle but not quite. She’s watching Roxy a bit like a cat with a bird on the other side of the window; interested but set apart. “And she drank. A lot.”

Roxy swallows so hard Dirk can hear it. He reaches over to bump his knuckles against her shoulder, but it does little to soothe her. Roxy’s shoulders sag and she half collapses back against the counter beside Dirk, dropping her face into her hands. For a half second, Dirk is terrified she’s going to cry. Instead, she lets out the most frustrated noise.

“When did you figure it out!?”

“Oh. I had my suspicions on day one.” Another groan and then Roxy peeks out at her from between her fingers. Rose just lifts her brows, cool as a damn cucumber. She sets down her cup and regards them with a little more curiosity. “I don’t suppose you’re the first wave of body snatching aliens, are you?”

That surprises a laugh from Roxy and she sags a little more into Dirk this time so he just makes sure not to give with the extra weight. Not that she could knock him over considering the sheer ridiculous bulk of this body (seriously, how did a swordsman and a speedster get this stupidly big?)

“Nope. No aliens here. We are the most humany humans ever. Incidentally, humans don’t breed by laying gobs of eggs in streambeds, do they?” he asks as innocently as he can. And he’s rewarded when the corner of her mouth quirks up a little.

“Are there others like you? Other than Jade’s grandfather, presumably.”

“Janey’s like us,” Roxy murmurs, shrugging a little. “John’s grandma.”

Rose blinks slowly and then smiles with fond disgust. “Of course he hasn’t noticed anything.”

She shakes her head and Dirk can kind of understand. He exchanged maybe a dozen words with the kid but even he noticed pretty quick what an airhead he is. Heh, airhead. Then Rose’s expression changes. He’s not exactly sure why but he’s pretty sure some serious business is about to drop-

“Is there any chance that things will go back to the way they were?”

Yup. There it is.

Dirk and Roxy exchange looks. They really have no idea but… Well. This feels pretty permanent. Dirk decides he’ll bite this one. “Probably not, kiddo. I’m sorry.”

Rose’s brows twitch, like they want to furrow but she won’t let them. She closes her eyes a moment and then looks off towards Dave’s door. Dirk has no idea what to do. He feels Roxy’s nervous tension rising beside him and her fingers twitch like all she wants to do is reach out but she can’t.

Dirk scratches at the back of his neck a bit and then because he cannot stand this silence, he asks, “What _is_ his middle name, by the way?”

Roxy almost answers but Rose beats her to the punch. “Leviathan. Dave Leviathan Strider.”

 _What_.

“Rose,” Roxy scolds without thinking before turning Dirk’s way. “It’s literally just “L”, Dirk. Dave L Strider.”

That is… even more ridiculous somehow. Wow. L, no period, don’t pass go, don’t collect $200. Wow. Dirk doesn’t really like having any sort of appreciation for what his alt self has done, but that is irony on an entirely new scale. He’s honestly impressed.

Roxy checks her watch. “Oh… I’m sorry, Dirk. We gotta get to the airport or we’ll miss the flight back.”

Dirk nods. He knew they were going home today but he had been trying not to remember it because it is going to be so shitty with them gone and Dave acting up for some reason and… and… And he really, really liked having Roxy here.

They exchange hugs and Dirk gives Rose his pesterchum handle so she can contact him if anything’s up. She takes it with an odd sort of amusement that isn’t all that happy. Dirk walks them downstairs to get a cab and then pulls Rose aside a bit.

“Hey, I know all this is pretty damn weird for you,” he prefaces in the most stupid, underwhelming fashion possible, “but Roxy really is trying. And… She was so happy to meet you. I guess what I’m trying to say is… I’m sorry your mom’s gone, but if you let her, Roxy will be the best stepmom you’d ever have. Okay? And also, the internet says that grief is healthy and shit so...”

Rose stares at him and nods for him to continue when his pause lasts too long. He gathers up his shit stock of social courage and finishes, “Anyway. If you need anything and you can’t ask her, you can ask me. Okay?”

“All right,” she says with care, studying him a moment. Then Roxy calls for her so Rose goes on to the cab. Dirk straightens up and then braces before Roxy hug-tackles him. She holds him so tight and he crushes her against him and he doesn’t want to _ever_ let go.

Back in his apartment is a surly thirteen year old who is as confused by all of this as Dirk is and Dirk may look like he’s thirty but he is so lost it isn’t even funny. He thinks again about asking Roxy to take him with her but he doesn’t because then he’d have to tell Jane and Jane would yell at him again. So, instead, he gives her another squeeze and then lets go and watches them drive away in the cab.

Dirk stands there a while longer than that. He’s really reluctant to go back into the apartment but… Well. He’s the adult here. He’s gotta make sure Dave’s okay. Taking a deep breath, Dirk heads back up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whelp, that was certainly a thing.


	8. Chapter 8

The apartment is quiet when Dirk steps back inside. Even closing the door seems to echo. Dirk feels like he’s walking into a wall of tension and nervous energy. He’s got a really, really bad feeling about this and is honestly surprised when nothing immediately happens to him.

Dave’s still in his room presumably so Dirk just goes to the kitchen and cleans everything up from breakfast/lunch/brunch whatever it was. It doesn’t make him feel any better but it does at least soothe the part of him that can’t stand things to not be in their place. He goes the extra mile and mops and wipes down the whole area, too. Can’t hurt.

The rest of the day he spends sitting on the roof with his laptop trying to forget how much he is obviously fucking everything up. He chats inconsequentially with Jane and Roxy, once she and Rose are home safe. She tells him that they had a pretty deep conversation on the plane and she thinks things will be okay. He tells her to look out for any grief side effects and let him know if there’s anything he can do. She says she will.

It makes him feel a little useless, not being there in person, but he thinks about Dave and how well that’s not going and figures he should probably not be involved after all.

By the time it’s dark, Dirk’s worked through a good amount of current day television pop culture so he’s not blindsided if someone happens to mention something while he’s at the market (the cashiers seem to think he’s kind of sheltered and a little strange. He just does not care what happened on the latest episode of “Breaking Bad” or “The Secret Life of an American Teenager” and while he at least knows they exist now, he is not about to start following them. Looking up trivia is another matter entirely. He might watch “Sanctuary” though.)

He gets up, stretching a little, and notes that the battery and power distribution upgrades he made on the laptop have done better than he expected since he’s only now close to it dying. Shaking his head, Dirk goes inside and Dave is standing in the living room waiting.

It takes Dirk a second or two to get past the shock and then he sets his laptop aside. “Weren’t you grounded?”

“It’s not day anymore.”

Point. But… Dirk is pretty sure he’s supposed to reassert his dominance here or something. He stuffs his hands in his pockets. “Yeah, well. You know you were out of line, right?”

Dave just stares at him. Like he’s waiting. Like he expects something. Dirk has absolutely no fucking clue what that might be but he’s pretty sure it’s not anything he’s willing to do.

“Tomorrow, I’m calling her up and you’re going to apologise,” he says instead. “For being a dick.”

Dave keeps staring at him. His jaw is tight, twitching as Dave grinds his teeth. It’s subtle, Dirk will give him that. At last, it comes out in a barely controlled, “ _And?_ ”

And… what?! Dirk is even more uncool right now than usual. “And… I guess you’re not allowed to go to the mall this week?”

“You grounded me _and_ I can’t go to the mall?” Dave doesn’t sound angry, he’s… Dirk thinks maybe he’s testing him.

“Do you want me to take away your internet for longer, too?”

Dave blinks. It’s a slow, deliberate thing, like he’s just heard the most stupid thing on the planet. Dirk admits he kind of has. And then Dave kind of… crumples. It’s an internal thing, all subtle little changes and like a drain rather than a huge outpouring of emotion. Dirk absolutely hates himself for causing it because suddenly Dave isn’t the scary minefield anymore. He’s a thirteen year old kid who is confused and scared and has just been torn apart in ways Dirk cannot even imagine. He doesn’t know what he did, doesn’t know how to _fix_ it-

“Dave,” he says, taking a step, and then Dave flinches back and Dirk goes still.

“You know, he never called me that,” Dave says. His voice is tight, strained, and it’s like he is just barely holding it together.

Dirk swallows the thick, uncomfortable lump that forms in his throat. It’s like he’s at the edge of a cliff and if he does the wrong thing, he’s just gonna fall and fall and _fall_. Dave knows. Dirk guesses Rose must have told him, but maybe Dave had already figured it out. Suddenly, everything is even more unsteady.

“If you tell me what he called you, I can,” Dirk offers like the desperate asshole he is.

The nature of Dave’s stare changes. It’s colder, somehow. Angrier. “Nope.”

And then Dave goes back into his room. He doesn’t slam the door this time, but he does close it with a deliberate flick of his wrist. Dirk stands in the entry for a good few minutes before he can make himself move. He grabs his laptop and goes to the futon to plug it in. He looks in the fridge and sees a bunch of shit he didn’t buy (he figures Roxy must have filled it while he was asleep this morning) but he isn’t hungry. He grabs a spare blanket from the closet and then tugs it around himself because suddenly he is cold, he wants a soft thing, and despite the fact that some of those creepy butt plushies had been kinda nice to hold, he’d gotten rid of every one of them because of the way Dave’s face would twitch when he saw them.

Dirk sets himself up on the futon and dives head long into his pop culture education. Seems like a good enough idea.

At some point, Dirk is aware that it’s morning but he’s ten episodes into _The Spectacular Spider-Man_ so he just keeps watching what there is and then he switches over to a couple episodes of _In Plain Sight_ before that gets boring and he’s suddenly introduced to more Anime than he thought existed and then he’s plowing through _Lucky Star_ and _The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya_.

He thinks he hears Dave move around in the kitchen or bathroom but he doesn’t turn around because he’s intent not to miss anything in _Michiko and Hatchin_ and then he’s watching _Horton Hears A Who_ and there’s some weird shit going on in the fan circles so he trolls a couple folks who apparently want to bang the emo kid, and then he’s bored of that so he’s watching _Soul Eater_ between episodes of _Children’s Hospital_ and _Being Human_.

He eats here and there, whenever he gets hungry, which isn’t often. He hits the shower at one point but he doesn’t remember how long ago that is because he’s caught into a sudden rush of _Transformers_ movies that get worse with each successive one and then it’s _Merlin_ and a couple gritty Batman movies and something called _Twilight_ that he stops watching ten minutes in and switches to _Fringe_ and _Ouran Highschool Host Club_.

He doesn’t really know how long he spends on the futon watching shit. He doesn’t really care. Sometimes he falls asleep in the middle of an episode and when he wakes up, he’s missed most of a season. It happens during _Quantum Leap_ but that’s episodic enough that he just rolls with it. It happens during _The Incredible Hulk_ and he’s even less inclined to go back and rewatch. When it happens in _Noein_ , he actually does scroll back so he can find out what the hell is going on.

When it happens during _Princess Tutu_ , he wakes up and Jane is holding his shoulder.

He thinks it’s a dream at first but then realizes he has no reason to dream of Jane with gray-blue hair or a slouching hunch to her posture or deep ass laugh lines. Jane smiles gently and Dirk struggles to sit up. He’s still really tired. He kind of wants to sleep forever.

“What are you doing here?” he asks and she gives him a look.

“A little bird let me know one of my best friends was in a bad state. Also, Roxy threatened to come down and I decided it was my turn.” She huffs and then sits down next to him, slow and careful of bones that creak under her. Dirk wonders if she’s in any kind of old person pain and he hopes not. “You’re more trouble than you’re worth sometimes, Dirk Strider.”

Her thin arm is brushing his and he can’t quite make himself move.

“Quite the nest you’ve got over here,” she comments, looking at the blankets he’d fetched here and there, and the dishes he hadn’t bothered taking to the sink. A couple empty bottles of soda, a half eaten sandwich that looks a little moldy - he has no idea how long it’s been sitting there.

Fuck. He has no idea how much time has passed. He digs his phone out of his pocket and it’s dead. He wonders how many messages he has waiting for him and then Jane is patting his knee.

“It’s going to be okay, Dirk,” she says, smiling all gentle and soft and making his chest feel ten sizes too small. “I brought pie.”

And then Dirk’s laughing and his throat feels tight and weird and this is so stupid, he didn’t even do anything good to deserve the pie, and he realizes he’s not actually laughing. His face is wet and his eyes hurt and his heart is doing that stupid pounding bullshit and Jane tugs him to her until he’s laying in her lap with his face hidden against her belly and his arms wrapped tight as he dares around her and he’s still fucking crying like someone died and no one did and he is just _ridiculous-_

“It’s going to be okay,” she repeats softer with a hand petting through his hair and the other one on his back and he cries until he’s not awake anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy timeskip action, Batman. Also I added a new tag, I hope you like it. 
> 
> Also just a btw but I actually am planning on this ending like semi happy. Eventually.


	9. Chapter 9

“You stink like sin. Go take a shower.”

It’s the first thing Jane says to him when he wakes up after “Good morning.” Dirk dutifully goes to the bathroom to shower off however many days’ worth of grime he’s got on him. He feels better after, something a little bit more human. He shaves the messy scruff off his face, styles his hair so it’s not a rat nest anymore, puts on fresh clothes.

He joins Jane out in the kitchenette where she’s putting the finishing touches on something that looks like crepes. Abruptly, he realizes Dave isn’t there to eat and gives his door a glance… Dave’s door is open. It’s _never_ open when he’s home.

“He’s with John and Dad- I mean-” Jane cuts off and when Dirk turns to her, she’s staring at the crepes hard. “I asked my son to look after the boys. Dave’s at the hotel with them right now. I made him take his swim trunks.”

“Jane-”

She shoves a plate into his chest and he catches it just as she lets go. “Eat! You’re thin as- well, you’re not, really, but you probably should be. I don’t even want to know what you’ve been subsisting on. I had to throw out half the contents of your fridge and go fetch replacements.”

He looks down at the food. “...I’ll pay you back.”

“No, sir, you will not. Now _eat_.”

He’s not really hungry but he eats anyway. It’s obscenely good and Dirk makes sure that he wolfs down every bit of it. And well, it does kind of comfort the gnawing grumbles in his belly so he guesses this is okay.

When they’re done with breakfast, he washes up despite Jane saying she could do it just fine. She’s steady on her feet, thank god for that, but he kind of doesn’t want to risk her pushing herself too much. The papery thinness of her skin is kind of frightening to look at.

He’s sure it’s more frightening to feel but Jane has absolutely no intention on talking about it and hasn’t since they woke up in the new world. Dirk’s not sure he’s the one she’d talk to about it, either.

Together, the two of them clean up the living room. Dirk does his best to do the bulk of the job but Jane is a goddamn force of nature when she wants to be and at least her old body is still pretty spry. He guesses that John’s grandma must have kept active before the game. Something nags at him about that but he doesn’t quite know why.

He wonders about Jake and then quickly gives that up because Jake doesn’t want to talk to him and he is so not pushing that. Pushing is part of what got them into this mess in the first place because Dirk’s self control sucks.

“So!” Jane says brightly, drawing him out of his thoughts pretty effectively as she closes up a trash bag. “Just for your information, this last three weeks was a _bad idea_.”

Three weeks?! He blinks and nods because he’s kind of amazed at his own emotional incompetence.

“It’s not going to happen again, is it?”

“Uh. No, ma’am.”

Jane lifts a brow and pins him with a tougher look. “Do you know what happens if it _does?_ ”

“No.” He’s kind of afraid to ask but he doesn’t have to.

“If it happens again, you and Dave are going to New York and you don’t get a choice in the matter. Not only that, but then _I’m_ going to New York. Do you know awful planes are for old folks, Dirk? _Are you going to put me and my poor heart through that again?_ ”

Jesus _christ_ but she is getting really good at milking that. And it’s effective. He feels very chastised and about two inches tall.

“Now plug in your phone and call Roxy. She deserves an apology and a thank you.”

Dirk very narrowly misses ma’aming her again as he plugs in his phone. The black screen gives in and suddenly he’s got several dozens of notifications. At some point before Jane showed up, Roxy and Jane were calling him a few times a day and he has almost a hundred texts waiting. He dutifully listens to every increasingly worried message before deleting them, reads every text. That’s how he finds out that Dave finally told Rose what was going on three days ago and Rose must have told her mother because Roxy’s last message was that they were sending “the big guns”. He can’t fault her for giving Jane that moniker.

“I’m going to take a nap,” Jane announces as she sits down on the cleaned futon, giving him a pointed look.

He nods and is on the roof half a minute later. He’s got about a quarter power but that’s enough. Probably. Shaking his head, Dirk sits down along the edge of the roof and makes himself pick out Roxy’s number from his contacts.

“OH MY GOD, DIRK!” she yells the moment the line picks up and Dirk winces.

“Yeah. Sorry about my random BSOD.”

“Do you have any idea- I just- _why didn’t you call me, you jerk?!_ ”

He… doesn’t really know why he didn’t call. He didn’t even really think to, but now that it’s been mentioned, he really should have. “Sorry.”

“Did Janey get you sorted out?” she asks after taking a few deep breaths, sounding marginally calmer.

“Yeah. She’s good at that.”

“If any of us could, it’d be her.” Roxy sighs a little and her voice lowers. “You really scared me this time, DiStri.”

And he actually feels pretty horrible about that. He hadn’t been thinking. He just… didn’t really want to think for a little while.

There’s a muffled voice around Roxy and then she says, “Rose says you really freaked Dave out-”

“I did _not_ say that,” he manages to hear from Rose, who must be closer now. “I said that Dave’s delicate impassive front has taken a serious blow-”

“Anyway! You should probably talk to the kid. I mean, that’s done wonders for me and Rose.”

“Ground rules and boundaries are important to the growth of well adjusted children and adolescents.”

“See? It’s great, you should try it, Dirk.”

He can’t help snorting a bit at the back and forth. They _do_ sound like they’re getting along okay. He wonders if that’s just for show and hopes it’s true. He desperately wants Roxy happy.

“I’ll put it into consideration.” It’s… probably a good idea that he talks to Dave. At least to explain his bullshit behavior and that he’s not, in fact, a body snatching alien like Rose had implied (and that just makes Dirk wonder what exactly she told Dave.) He doubts that will go well, or even would have if he hadn’t lost his head for three damn weeks.

They chat a while about silly things with Rose interjecting here and there. It’s kind of nice to just jabber and he’s regretful when his phone gives a warning beep of eminent failure. He promises to plug it in and call again later, then ends the call and heads inside.

Whether she meant to or not, Jane made good on the nap and she’s still snoozing when he gets back. He plugs his phone in, goes to wash the dishes they’d carted from the living room into the kitchenette, and then wonders what Dave is even up to.

He knows Dave and John are friends so he guesses they’re probably hanging out while John’s dad watches out for them. And then he wonders what John’s dad even thinks of all this. Suddenly making a trip to Texas so his mom can take care of a thirty year old idiot he’s never met… Ugh, and Jane probably has to deal with being called _Mom_ and _Nanna_. Dirk didn’t have a proper appreciation for the fuck up that is Jane’s situation until just now.

He glances at her half slumped on the futon and while absently hoping it doesn’t throw her back out, he also decides that he’s going to fix things with Dave and then he’s going to start working on _her._ Figure something out. Certainly there must be something they can do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel so bad about Jane.


	10. Chapter 10

They end up deciding to have dinner with John and John’s dad once Jane wakes up and declares it time for a meal. Or, rather, Jane decides that and her tone brooks no disagreement. Dirk follows her to the elevator, watching every step she takes with heavy focus. Her gait has changed to accommodate her overall weaker frame and overcompensates for the hunch in her spine. He doesn’t think John’s grandma got much exercise in her waning years and Jane is suffering for it. Dirk’s kind of pissed at grandma for that. He makes a mental note to look up senior exercise regimens because he wants her to have a long life. Longer, anyway.

Who is he kidding? He is going to become an expert on senior healthcare now. Just slap “doctor” in front of his name.

They catch a cab to the hotel and John’s dad meets them on the curb. He gives Dirk a look over as they shake hands (and jesus _christ_ is that a firm handshake.) Dirk kind of can’t talk at first because… Uh. So, John’s dad is not really that old at all. Dirk thinks they’re probably around the same physical age, actually. He’s got thick, pitch dark hair under that dapper hat, a few tiny wrinkles at his eyes but nowhere else, a strong jaw…

Jane bumps his arm and Dirk abruptly lets go of John’s dad’s hand because wow, that is so not appropriate and he is going to have to apologize to her later, but the man is _hot_ and Dirk is traumatized, not _dead_.

“Jeff Egbert, nice to meet you,” John’s dad says, smiling with just enough teeth and wow, Dirk needs to stop noticing that. John’s dad is officially off limits.

“Dirk,” he manages without fucking up. “Dirk Strider.”

“Feeling a little better now, Mr. Strider?”

Uh. It should not sound dirty to be referred to that way. Also what the _fuck_ , Dirk was under the impression that libido slowed down after his twenties but wow does he want to trip this man and beat him to the ground. He blinks, controls the urge, and then continues trying to act like a reasonable human being.

“Yeah. Uh, and just Dirk is fine. More than fine.” John’s dad is more than fine- Okay, that has to stop.

Jane looks between them, one blue-gray brow lifted. She manages to seem both exasperated and also impatient. “How about we get the boys and find something to eat?”

“That is an _amazing_ idea,” Dirk seconds quickly so that Jeff Egbert can’t open his goddamn perfect mouth.

John’s dad goes up to fetch them and Jane turns on Dirk the moment the door closed behind him. “Would you stop perving on my fa- _son?!_ ”

Dirk stuffs his hands in his pockets and tries to play it cool. “... He started it.”

“He did not!” she hisses back, throwing up her hands. “You’re impossible!”

“Okay, I definitely acknowledge that your hot dad is off limits,” Dirk offers and Jane glares at him. “Uh. Your repulsive-and-not-even-slightly-hot dad. Your son?”

She sighs and rolls her eyes. “That’s better.”

John’s dad comes out with the kids. Dirk takes one look at Dave, at the careful way Dave is showing absolutely nothing at all, probably not even looking at him behind his shades, and instantly feels ten times worse. He has no idea how to fix this shit. That kid is never going to trust him again.

John looks pretty much like Dirk would expect a thirteen year old John to look, from the glimpses he got during the very last battle. He’s shorter than Dave, his hair is longer and more out of control than it will be at sixteen, and his teeth are gigantic in his mouth. Dirk feels legitimately sorry for what a dork he is. As John’s dad introduces them, John gives Dirk a curious, if pretty openly suspicious look over. He doesn’t mention whatever’s going through his head but that might be because Jane’s hurrying them over to the cab before the cabbie starts charging overtime.

Dinner is, uh. _Awkward_. Dave doesn’t speak past the absolute minimum and barely looks at Dirk at all. Dirk finds his own words dried up and dead on the back of his tongue. He watches Jane and John and John’s dad interact on their own for the most part. The Crockberts try tugging both Dirk and Dave in here and there but keep letting them sit there like silent idiots, too. Dirk keeps glancing at an oversized clock on the wall to see how few minutes have gone by in the meantime.

By the time it’s over, Dirk is about ready to start climbing walls. They take a cab to the apartment first to let Dirk and Dave off. Jane promises to to check on them in the morning. She’s already yawning and it’s not even nine yet. Dirk feels something twist in his belly as they drive off. He looks at Dave and wonders why the kid didn’t insist on going back with the Crockberts again, but he doesn’t dare say anything. Instead, he follows Dave to the elevator and on into the apartment.

Dave stays silent all the way in but he doesn’t go to his room. He very deliberately walks to the futon and sits down without looking back. Dirk stands awkwardly at the door for a few minutes before he takes a breath and goes to sit on the other end of the futon. He stares resolutely at the blank television and tries to not feel like his insides are crawling.

“You’re kind of a mess for sixteen,” Dave says, breaking the silence finally.

“Everyone is a mess at sixteen,” Dirk corrects and Dave kind of nods.

“Good to know there’s something to look forward to.”

Dirk swallows and offers, “I think you were kind of more together at sixteen than I am. Will be. Uh-”

“So, I _was_ older.” Dave says it like a confirmation of something he’d already known. He slumps against the futon and drops his head on the back of it. “Well. Good to know I’m not crazy. Did I have super powers?”

“The most awesome superpowers.”

Dirk has no idea what’s happening here. Does Dave _remember?_ For real? He can’t stop himself from looking at him, trying to figure out what’s going on in Dave’s brain. He isn’t even sure how to ask but then Dave opens his mouth and the truth starts spilling out of it.

“So a while ago, I started looking at people on the street and like making up stories about where they’d been,” Dave starts, reaching up to rub at his forehead like it hurts. “This guy’s a butcher and cut off his finger once and accidently ground it up with the beef. This lady’s got six guys on the side and thinks her husband doesn’t know but he totally does and is filming that shit for pornohub because he’s gonna make it big some day, you don’t even know. That kid totally slobbered all over a cookie he gave his teacher in revenge for that F he got on a test. Human experience as we know it, the little things in life making everything real and none of it worth writing about because that would be the most boring book on the planet- Except I’m pretty sure I was right about everything and holy shit, dude, but your timeline is _messed_ _up._ ”

“I- what?” Dirk stares at him with a growing dread as Dave finally turns and looks back at him.

“Looking at you is a fucking _travesty_ ,” Dave admits. “It’s all wrong. A total clusterfuck of sharp edges like every mirror in the world decided to collectively fuck off and shatter all at once. Scattering entire countries with tiny death needles and shit. It’s like there’s two guys sitting in front of me and one isn’t dead, he’s just stopped right there like a month and a half ago, and the other one’s mixed up like whoa. I don’t even know how either of you were _born_.”

Dirk knows he’s the product of some kind of crazy ectobiology thing. He wonders if his alt self is somehow the same thing. He might be starting to freak out a little.

“Did Roxy-,” he can’t help starting to ask but Dave groans like he’s in physical pain and covers his face with his hands.

“ _Yes_ ,” he say with real exasperation and then adds, “and John’s Nanna, and John’s _dad_. And probably Jade’s grandpa if I ever meet him.”

Wait, _what?!_ “John’s dad-”

“Oh yeah, except they’re even more confusing because they’re almost _exactly_ the same.” Dave drops his hands and goes back to glaring at the ceiling like he wants to murder it. “I think he’s trying to be polite because every time John’s Nanna messes up calling him by his name, he just rolled with it. The guy is chill like an icecream sundae sitting in Mr. Freeze’s helmet in the middle of the Antarctic winter. I am legit jealous of that sick calm.”

Oh _fuck_ , and Jane has _no idea_. He wonders if it’s as weird for her dad. He… He is going to have to tell them. And soon. He can’t leave Jane in the dark, can’t let her keep spinning in misery he _knows_ she’s gotta feel.

“Does John know?” he hazards and Dave snorts.

“John’s about as observant as a groundhog. Missing his shadow half the time, what else is he missing? When winter starts, this poor sap is still trying to swim but the pool’s closed, swim on the ice, you brainless fuck…”

It goes on a while but Dirk tunes it out as he tries to calm down his heart rate. Okay. Back up. Dave’s still got some amount of his powers, like Rose. He can see how screwed up they are, he’s been sitting on that knowledge for who knows how long, marinating in confusion and some kind of existential horror if Dirk’s not missing his guess. Jane’s dad is still there in John’s dad and probably kind of messed up by all this, too, and wow, if he knows Jane is his kid...

Dirk scratches the back of his neck. Okay. So step one in fixing Jane’s shit is going to be telling them. That is going to be a really, really awkward conversation, but needed. First, though...

“Hey,” he says and Dave cuts off the ramble to look at him. “I’m uh… I’m sorry about the whole…”

What does he even call it?

“It’s cool,” Dave says to save him from having to find the right words.

“It’s not,” Dirk insists. “It is incredibly not cool. I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me. I didn’t… You know that isn’t your fault or anything, right?”

Dave’s stare says otherwise but he nods like he’s trying to placate him. Dirk has a lot of making up to do, jesus christ.

“I’m not going to do it again.”

“‘Kay.” Dave doesn’t sound all that convinced, but then again his voice has gone back to mostly impassive. He seems a little tired though. Dirk let’s it go for now. He has plenty of time to make it up to him later. They put on some shit TV show that Dirk doesn’t pay much attention to because something else is nagging him.

Both Rose and Dave have some amount of power left from the game. It’s conceivable that Jade and John probably do, too. That just begs the question: what if Dirk does, too?

By the time he hits the sack, he hasn’t decided how he feels about that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter apparently decided me not quite making 1400 last chapter meant I had to over compensate with almost 2k this time. Lawl. 
> 
> Also thank you to roachpatrol for pointing out the potential hotness of Dad.


	11. Chapter 11

Jane takes the news about her dad about as well as Dirk expected. Which is _not well at all_. The three of them sit stiffly in the living room, or at least Jane and Jeff (?) do while Dirk leans against the wall by the TV. The kids are holed up in Dave’s room even though Dirk told Dave he could be included if he wanted to be. (He said hell no and dragged a very confused John off.) Jane stares at Dirk with her eyes so wide that it makes her somehow look half her age. Her mouth works like she wants to say something but can’t.

And then she turns on Jeff and hisses out, “ _Why didn’t you tell me?_ ”

“I wasn’t sure you-” her dad starts, looking supremely uncomfortable. “My memories are… a little jumbled at the moment, sweetheart. Sometimes, I remember being your father, Jedd Crocker. Sometimes, I only remember being John’s, Jeff Egbert. John hasn’t seemed to notice anything was wrong, even though I know he grew up _without_ my mother around. I remember her passing away when I found him. But, I also remember my father doing the same thing when I found you. And most of the time, you seemed just like my mother, so I didn’t know if you were really like me. I didn’t want to upset you if you weren’t.”

Jane sags and covers her face with her small, withered hands. She makes a noise that is almost a sob and then Jeff slides an arm around her shoulders and she leans into him needily. Whatever the state of their bodies or of Jeff’s mind, the familial connection between them is still as strong as ever. Dirk’s not sure he should be watching this but he does anyway. He can’t help but think that the two of them probably needed each other a lot over the past month and a half.

“You said that young Dave figured it out?” Jeff asks after a while, glancing Dirk’s way without making any move to release Jane.

“He’s apparently seeing timelines at the moment and ours are messed up enough to give him headaches,” Dirk says with a shrug. “I don’t think that’s something he could do before, but... Well.”

“Winning the game is supposed to make us gods of a new world.” Jane’s voice is wet but strong from the crook of her father’s neck. “You don’t think…”

“I’m kind of afraid to.” Dirk scratches at the back of his neck, threading his fingers through the short hair there. “Rose has some amount of power, too. Enough that she caught a glimpse of the world I came from, anyway. Far as I know, her game powers had to do with telling the future, not truth seeing or whatever it is she was doing.”

“So their powers are changing,” Jeff summarizes, his mouth setting into an unhappy line.

“At least getting more generalized, anyway.” Which does not make Dirk happy because it makes it harder to possibly predict what they might be able to do and not. “And I bet both Jade and John have their game powers, too.”

“John does,” Jeff confirms. “He hasn’t noticed it, but he floats when he’s excited and he’s caused a few miniature whirlwinds. The weather has also been unseasonably unpredictable, but I’m not sure if that’s really his doing.”

Dirk nods and folds his arms. “Jade may not be doing anything overt, yet, and I’m kind of hoping she won’t since she was a _witch of_ _space_. So, the kids at least are on their way to becoming gods like the game promised, probably specifically gods of their aspects or classes. But _we_ won, too.”

Jane gives him an uncomfortable look and he knows why. Her aspect was Life and that, at least, seems pretty cut and dry a good thing, but he spent his time splintering himself and at one point _ripping someone’s soul out of their body._ His powers were all about souls and destruction. He doesn’t really want to know what kind of god he’d be if he _does_ still have any powers and he is kind of… Well. He’s not sure he wants to try and find out, either.

The others, on the other hand. “I think we should look into this. At least some of us, the ones with powers that aren’t exceedingly dangerous. You, maybe Jake, if he’s willing to talk to us. ”

“If he will, I bet it’s only to Roxy,” Jane says with a soft sigh. “I think she’s the only one that hasn’t absolutely bungled things up with him.”

Understatement of the century. “I’ll shoot a message her way and see if she can reestablish contact. Jade talks to me so I’ll see if she’s had anything weird happen around her.”

“Carefully,” Jeff cautions gently. “It’s all well and good to explore yourselves but I would hate for anything to go sour due to getting ahead of yourselves.”

He pins Dirk in place with a look and then the hand he’s got around Jane tightens a fraction, just enough to see. Dirk understands immediately and now _he’s_ worried. Both Jane and Jake are at least sixty, possibly a decade or two older than that, and human bodies tended to degrade fast at those ages.

And then Dirk stops. He thinks through the powers they (might) have at their disposal and looks at Jane. They might be able to fix this. If they’re very careful, if they’re very lucky… They might be able to fix this.

He notes that down in the back of his head for later and concentrates on the now. “None of the kids remember the game and probably are going to need to train their powers to get any sort of control over them. They might have some kind of innate limited control, but if John’s causing wind storms…”

“Then it’s less control and likely simply lack of overt tapping of their abilities,” Jeff murmurs grimly. He shakes his head a little. “We will work with him.”

“I’ve got some ideas on helping Dave. Right now he’s barely looking at people because he can’t _stop_ seeing their timelines.” And apparently had started seeing them weeks ago but just didn’t mention it. Of course, it started while he was also trying to figure Dirk out and then Dirk tanked for three weeks of binge watching, so he really doesn’t blame him in the least. “Roxy will handle Rose and I’m guessing Jake will figure something out for Jade.”

“...You sure about that?” Jane gives him a worried glance and Dirk admits, he’s kind of concerned over that, too. Jade has some of the highest potential for absolute destruction out of the four of them. John might cause a tornado; Jade could shrink the entire world to the size of a pea, if her powers even still work that way.

“Well,” Jeff says, glancing between them. “We will simply have to feel out the situation slowly and with great care.”

Dirk nods. Yeah. This isn’t something he can rush. He needs to build some plans, figure out contingencies. He needs some framework in how to get to the best outcome.

“Now then,” Jane says and her voice is a little stronger. She’s looking better, less shellshocked and shaky now. “All that is very important, but I need to make sure of one thing.”

Dirk gives her his full attention as she draws herself from her father’s embrace and straightens.

“Are _you_ okay now?” she asks, her gaze seeming to furrow right into Dirk like she’ll hear even the faintest hint of a lie.

He thinks about it and then he shrugs his shoulders a little. “Mostly. I still kind of want to go watch the rest of _Princess Tutu,_ and _Gurren Lagann_ looked cool _,_ but I don’t think I have to do it all at once.”

Her eyes squint a bit but she accepts that. “And if you start thinking you do-”

“I call you or Roxy immediately.”

“Good boy.”

She gets up and then drags him into a hug he has no intention of dodging because her embrace is nice and he likes feeling her affection for him. It’s not that he ever doubts it (he kinda does) but still. It’s nice. He’ll take it.

They make vague plans for a get together now that school is out and summer’s here. No concrete dates but they’re determined to get everyone together at some point and soon. Dirk’s schedule is flexible as hell so he really doesn’t care when it happens. No one’s sure if they’ll be able to get Jake and Jade along but Jane promises to figure something out with Roxy.

Dirk is not at all sure he wants to see Jake but… Well. Maybe it would be a good thing.

By the time the Crockberts head out, it’s late and Dirk is kind of exhausted. Dave’s slunk back to his room but he leaves the door half open when he does it this time. Dirk isn’t sure what that means but… He thinks it might be a step in the right direction.

Things are tentatively looking up. Dirk is sure it’s going to backfire but at the moment, he decides to give a little effort to being hopeful. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay this is probably the most dense chapter in terms of info dump so far, sorry. Also I realized the Body Horror tag was probably appropriate because of Jane.
> 
> Also, I keep forgetting to, but I just wanna thank everyone who comments, kudos, reblogs me on tumblr, or even just looks and makes my hit counter go up. I've really appreciated everyone's input and encouragement. I'm honestly kind of blown away by the response I've had with this fic I wrote on a whim because I had the ghost of a plot in my head. 
> 
> So thank you. IT'S NOT LIKE I LIKE YOU OR ANYTHING *blushblush*


	12. Chapter 12

Dave follows Dirk up to the roof the next morning with the kind of gait of a dead man walking. Dirk has no idea what that means, what significance “roof training” must mean to him, but he doesn’t like the way Dave’s face could be carved from stone right now. He just figured the roof would be a good place to do this since it’s less cluttered than the apartment and… And apparently, this is another terrible thing Dave’s brother ruined somehow.

“Okay,” Dirk says, trying not to spend too much time mentally whipping himself for stepping in another minefield. “So. Training.”

“I didn’t bring my sword,” Dave says but it comes out almost like a challenge.

“Okay?” Dirk has no idea what relevance a sword would have to this but Dave stares at him like he’s testing him and Dirk is _failing._ “I didn’t, either. You’re not really going to need it for this, man.”

Dirk isn’t sure why but this seems to make Dave even more bothered. His face doesn’t show it, stubbornly refuses to show it, but his body language is all tense anticipation and frustration. If anyone in the world might be able to figure this kid out, it isn’t Dirk.

“So,” he starts again. “The kind of training I meant was your time powers.”

Dave stares at him in silence. He is not making any effort to make this easier, even if he is leaving his door half open most of the time now. Dirk supposes he deserves that.

“Right now, it’s causing you trouble because you don’t have any control over it,” Dirk continues. “So, we’re going to change that. We’re doing this b-”

“Are we making it happen?” Dave says in the most carefully bland tone Dirk has ever heard. If it weren’t so obviously a distraction attempt rather than a real try at humor, Dirk might be elated. It is so he’s not.

“What an excellent question,” he says, rolling with it. “Not only are we making it happen but it is in fact already happening. Right here, right now.”

Dave tilts his head a little and some of the watchfulness fades a little. “Is this the part where we start the training montage?”

Dirk silently reaches over to the old boom box he’d dragged up here earlier and hits the play button. He did nearly three hours of research last night to find the most perfectly ironic training songs he could, anticipating this moment. He only gets one shot, can not miss his chance to blow. This opportunity only comes once in a lifetime.

“ _Rising up! Back on the street…_ ”

At first, Dave just stares at it. Then there comes the first snicker. And then he looks skyward as he forces himself to stop but his mouth is curving into a smile despite his best efforts.

“ _-Just a man and his will to survive! So many times…_ ”

Dirk waits because it’s coming, he can feel it, and then Dave actually _laughs_. It might just be the kind of laugh someone gets after the threat of danger is over but it sounds like _springtime_. Dirk finds himself grinning back, like his mouth has declared its independence from his usual decorum. He lets it, for now.

“Oh my god, dude,” Dave gasps out finally, doubled over with his hands on his knees. “This is so uncool.”

“The internet indicated that this was the most appropriate song to use.” He might be a little smug that it worked so well.

Dave gets control of himself after a bit and while he’s certainly not emoting much again, he does seem better. A little more relaxed, a little more open. Dirk makes a mental note to write that down in his “How to parent Dave Strider” spreadsheet later.

They get started while Dave Bickler is still crooning on about the thrill of the fight. Dirk doesn’t really know how to get going on training powers he’s never had, but he does his best in coaching Dave through various different methods he cribbed from the internet. Some of them feel like the most new agey hippy shit he’s ever heard of, but they still try it all out.

Nothing really works. The most Dave manages to do is tell Dirk about the dead bird they’re going to find up here the tomorrow and then makes Dirk promise to let him preserve it. Dirk finds that a little creepy but he is not about to censor Dave’s hobbies when the kid is finally not treating him like a bomb that could go off at any moment.

They call it a day after a while and come up the next morning. There is, indeed, a dead bird. So, at least there is some amount of actual time powers happening here. Dirk feels weirdly vindicated by that.

They spend another day working at it with little to no success and then Dirk lets Dave take the bird down to put it in a jar. He’s sure this is probably a bad thing, but Dave seems at least marginally happier post-dead bird than he was pre-dead bird. Later that evening, Dirk takes a peek through the half open door and spies a couple other dead-things-in-bottles. So, at least this interest in dead stuff isn’t a new development he can blame on himself.

It does make him wonder if his bro liked dead things too. He’s not sure what to feel about that.

The next day ends up about the same, minus the bird, as is the one after that. They spend over week working through things on the roof without any sign of progress. Dirk’s convinced they just don’t have the right method yet. Getting Dave trained up becomes the only thing on his mind. When they’re not on the roof, he’s on the internet searching far and wide for anything approaching what they’re trying to do.

Dave’s powers are the key to helping Jane and Jake and Dirk refuses to give up. He knows there’s more potential stuck inside Dave’s little body if they could just _break through!_ It’ll happen. He knows it’ll happen.

On day nine, Dirk heads up the stairs as is becoming usual to do another day. Dave’s been getting quieter the longer this goes on, spending more time in his room, picking at his food. Dirk’s sure Dave’s frustrated but he’s got a bunch of new ideas to try and surely _something_ will stick.

He gets Dave started on the basic meditation shit that prompted the dead bird thing and then they move through other “awareness opening” methods he got off the internet. Dave is less enthused with every one of them.

“Can we just _stop?!_ ” Dave says suddenly, interrupting Dirk in mid word explanation of the next technique. “None of this is working!”

“Look, I know, but maybe-” Dirk tries.

“How much of an idiot is _this one_ going to make me feel like?”

“I-”

Dave makes a disgusted noise and climbs back up to his feet. “No. I’m _done_. I don’t care anymore.”

He starts back towards the stairs as Dirk scrambles to get up. “Dave, get back here. We’re not done, yet. You need to keep-”

Dave stops dead. He doesn’t turn around and something pricks the edge of Dirk’s awareness like a six sense for danger a moment before Dave snarls out, “Would you _stop_ acting like my _dad?!_ ”

Dirk stills. He has absolutely no idea how to respond to that.

“You’re not that much older than me!” Dave yells, throwing out a hand to make some vague kind of gesture Dirk has no reference for. “And I don’t need a dad, okay?! I never needed one before and- and- I don’t need _you!_ ”

That… Dirk knows it’s anger talking, it’s frustration, it’s probably some amount of disappointment, he knows he shouldn’t take it personally, but…

“Stop acting like you’ve got any kind of clue what the hell you’re doing! Like any of this makes any _sense!_ ” And then Dave’s jerking around to glare at him, his shoulder starting to shake and his hands curled into tight fists. “You’re not my dad! You’re not even my _Bro!_ ”

Dirk’s… He feels like he’s frozen. His chest is caving in and he feels cold and like a single movement will shatter him to pieces.

“I’m sorry-” he tries but that just seems to make everything _worse_.

“Fuck your sorry!”

Dave starts down the stairs. He doesn’t stomp on each one but he might as well have. Dirk hears it anyway. He…

He has no idea what just happened. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I knew this was coming and I kept seeing people ask about when Dave was going to lose it and just... Whelp.


	13. Chapter 13

He lets it sit for three days and for three days, Dave’s door stays stubbornly shut. Dirk only sees him in passing on the way to the fridge or the bathroom and every attempt at communication is met with steely silence. Dave isn’t even glaring at him anymore by day three; he just ignores Dirk’s existence.

It… Dirk messed up. He knows he messed up. He just can’t figure out _how_. He’s got no idea what Dave wants from him, what he’s lacking, any of it.

The first two days he spends drawing up new training plans. They’re not much different than the last ones but include more frequent snack breaks. Maybe Dave was just hungry. He knows that’s stupid the second it comes into his head but to be perfectly honest, it’s the best lead he’s got.

When day four rolls around and Dave is _still_ ignoring him, Dirk is faced with the realization that he needs backup. He stares at his phone for nearly an hour and considers what a goddamn fuck up he is at this parenting thing (or anything, really) before he actually dials a number.

Roxy isn’t even finished saying hello before he blurts out, “I fucked up and Dave hates me and I don’t even know what I did this time.”

There is a pause and then Roxy lets out a confused, “What? Okay, back up. One word at a time this time. _What?_ ”

“Dave hates me,” Dirk says and hopes he doesn’t sound as miserable as he feels.

“I’m p sure he doesn’t,” Roxy replies with a certain caution in her voice. “How about you just give me a play by play of how whatever this is went down.”

“I fucked up.”

“Yeah, I get that. _How?_ ”

“I don’t know. It was going just fine- okay, so it wasn’t really but I mean- anyway, it wasn’t any different except this time suddenly he started yelling at me and-” He doesn’t think he’s making much sense. “Roxy, _he_ _you’re not my real father’d me_.”

She whistles. “Well. You’re kinda not. But-”

“Why would he even _want_ me to be?!” Dirk lets loose, all frustration and confusion and yeah, maybe a little hurt. “The guy was an asshole! He made Dave’s life a living hell and scared the shit out of him and- do you know he’s still got almost a full case of ramen noodles in his closet?! And who knows how many bottles of apple juice. Because that is apparently a thing he learned to do living with that- that-”

“Di-”

“If I don’t telegraph _every single move_ , he jumps out of his goddamn skin the moment he notices me, still! It’s been almost two months!” It’s not a jump as much as a distinct _lack_ of it, but it might as well be. “And I’m pretty sure he’s still having nightmares because-”

“ _Dirk, get a grip._ ”

He stops at the stern edge in her voice and realizes he’s almost vibrating with upset and his breathing is fast and uneven. He closes his eyes and slumps down onto the futon with his head thrown back.

“Roxy, I shouldn’t be here,” he says and every word hurts.

He hears her give a loud sigh. “Okay, first of all? You need to calm down. Take a couple deep breaths, use those big lungs of yours. They don’t usually get nearly the exercise they should.”

He draws in a deep breath and then lets it out nice and slow. Four more later and he’s feeling a little better, at least physically. Roxy stays on the phone but lets him have the time he needs to get out of the sudden panic he’d fallen into - sudden nothing, it’s been building since the roof.

“Better now?” Roxy asks and the sugar sweetness is coming back to her voice, all soft and comfortingly familiar. “Okay. Now, tell me what happened when Dave yelled at you. Gimme the lead up, slim. Dish out the deets.”

“We were trying to train his time powers,” Dirk says and then details the whole week and a half, bit by bit, leaving nothing he can remember out. He’s a little embarrassed about the crystal meditation thing they tried and the whole African drumming thing, but he still tells her and she’s polite enough not to laugh her ass off at him. “And then he just kind of blew up. And I don’t know why.”

“I do,” she says with a bitter kind of fondness. “Dirk, Dave’s not like you. You can’t just push him into a pace like that and not expect him to blow up at you.”

“I- yeah. I guess you have a point.”

“Of course I do, I’m the _best_. You went overboard, bro. It’s kinda your thing.”

It kind of is. Dirk sighs heavily and feels like all his energy goes with it. “I didn’t mean to do that.”

“Yanno, I don’t think you ever do,” Roxy muses and he can hear the smile in her voice. “You’re gonna have to be more aware of that. I mean, it’s not like we’re in an apocalyptic death game anymore. You can _relax_.”

Except he can’t. Because he has to figure out how to fix things with Dave, how to fix Dave himself, how to do _everything_.

“Jane and Jake might not have that kind of time,” he says and the silence after is telling. “We can fix them, Roxy. Maybe. But we need him. We gotta figure out how to use his powers.”

“Is that why- Dirk!! Stop being an asshole!”

He blinks a little, honestly surprised. “What?”

“Dave is not just some convenient plot device deus ex machina for you to use at just the right moment!”

“I don’t think-”

“ _He’s a_ _thirteen year old kid,_ not some shitty, wind-up toy soldier, you ass!” she rails at him with surprising vehemence that has him sitting up straighter. “ _Maybe_ he gets more powers and _maybe_ he can help fix Jane and Jake, but you can’t just push him into it! We’ve got no idea how any of this is going to work. You’re not fixing things tomorrow, Dirk!”

“They could _die_ tomorrow!” Dirk snarls back at her.

“Any of us could! Are you even hearing yourself?!”

He’s not too angry to recognize she’s got a point but he doesn’t care right now because she is not understanding. “We have the chance to save them-”

“That’s not your duty right now! Your duty is taking care of Dave and making sure he’s okay! And you’re doing a _shit_ job of it!”

It hits like a tank. For a second, he can’t breathe. And then he hangs up on her. Roxy calls back immediately and he declines the call. His phone informs him that a message has been left but he doesn’t listen to it. He drops the phone on the floor and puts his head in his hands.

He can’t deny it. He is doing a _shit_ job of taking care of Dave. And the worst of it is she’s right about all of it but he still can’t let go of the idea of saving Jane and Jake. He doesn’t want to lose them. He _can’t_ lose them and Dave is the key to it, he-

-is standing ten feet away. Dirk twitches and looks up. Dave stares at him with a bottle of apple juice in his hand, half empty but capped. Dave opens his mouth to say something and then closes it. Neither of them moves for several long minutes.

“Could they really die?” Dave asks and he’s trying to sound impassive, but…

“I don’t know,” Dirk admits. “They’re hella old right now. It’s possible.”

Dave’s mouth presses into a firm line and then he looks down at his juice. “So this is important. The time thing.”

“I… Yeah. Kind of.”

Dirk watches Dave closely, wondering just what the hell is going through the kid’s head. He doesn’t really understand Dave at the best of times but he’s even more confusing right now, standing there like they didn’t have a huge fight.

“Could it fix you, too?” Dave looks at him and his fingers tighten on the bottle. “Make you younger? So you don’t look like…”

Oh. Well... Dirk shrugs a little. “I guess. It’s possible. I didn’t honestly think about that part.”

Dave considers this and then deliberately sets the bottle down on the floor beside the futon. “Okay.”

“Okay?” Dirk has no idea what is going on now.

“Okay,” Dave repeats. He straightens and shoves his hands into his pockets. “Okay. So let’s get this time thing going.”

Well. He guesses this is a good thing. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well this one hurt to write, jeez.


	14. Chapter 14

They spend the next week devoting almost every waking hour to training. Dave speaks little and follows Dirk’s direction to the letter. They try every technique they did before again, just to make sure the failure hadn’t been due to apathy. They try everything they get their hands on at least twice and sometimes three times if something seems particularly promising.

It’s two in the afternoon. The sun is beating down hard and the roof feels like it’s a billion degrees. Dave’s cheeks and nose are faintly pink. The kid doesn’t tan and he doesn’t really sunburn much either, but Dirk makes him go down and put some sunscreen on anyway. While Dave’s gone, Dirk looks over his notes to see what they’re trying next. They’re almost to the end of his current list which means he’ll need to spend tonight figuring up a new one.

Dirk ticks them off with the tip of his finger and then stops. They haven’t tried that one yet. It’s been on his list since about day two but he has shied away from it every time. He’s pretty sure it is a terrible idea but… There’s only so much yoga, meditation, and spiritual bullshit out there. And Dave might be motivated to try but Dirk can tell he’s getting close to his bullshit threshold.

If Dirk’s honest, he is, too.

When Dave comes back up the stairs, Dirk is still pretty sure it’s a bad idea. He takes a deep breath and watches the way Dave pauses, how the feel of his gaze sharpens like he can sense what Dirk is about to say.

“How about we try strifing?” he says all at once.

Dave says nothing at first. He just looks at Dirk for a long time and then he says, “I didn’t bring my sword.”

“Might want to-”

“Forget that stupid ass idea.”

Dirk startles because even though it’s Dave’s voice, it didn’t come out of Dave’s mouth. He jerks around and there is Dave, standing a few feet away. His clothes are ruffled, his hair windblown. He doesn’t look hurt but his glasses are off and his eyes blaze with something Dirk can’t quite read.

“I did it?” Dave says so soft Dirk almost misses it and then the double is moving. He jets past Dirk almost too fast to see and then grabs Dave by the arm in passing. He drags Dave to the edge of the roof and Dirk breaks free from his shocked stillness to go after them but he’s too late.

Dave goes over the edge with a confused yelp and Dirk misses him by an inch. The double watches Dave fall for a moment and Dirk jumps onto the ledge to go after him when Dave abruptly fades into nothing.

Dirk sits there, crouched on the ledge with his heart pounding in his chest, and then swings around to regard the double. “What the hell just happened?!”

“Stable time loop,” the kid says, backing up a few steps as Dirk gets back to the roof proper. “Don’t lose it, man. He’s already gone back to do the same thing I did.”

Dirk looks over the edge again. There’s no body on the pavement below but he can just make out a pair of shades sitting just beside the front entryway. He clenches his hands into fists and tries to pretend they wouldn’t shake otherwise.

His knees feel a little weak suddenly but Dirk pushes past that, forces his breathing to settle, and then considers what he’s just seen. Dave made some kind of breakthrough with his powers. He successfully managed to go back in time and _flung himself off a goddamn roof_ \- He stops himself and looks at the kid, who is watching him like he might blow up.

“So,” Dirk says, trying to get a handle on this and not think about Dave falling and the fact that Dirk would have not saved him. “I guess you have time powers again.”

Dave tilts his head a bit. His face is a lot easier to read without the shades, the way his eyes narrow a bit, the twitch in his brows, but Dirk is going to fetch them _as soon as possible_. “A little. I mean, I did that much. I dunno what else I can do.”

“Did it feel different? When you managed it, I mean. Did you feel something?”

“I guess.”

Dirk nods. He takes another slow, deep breath and forcibly does not look at the ledge. “Okay. So let’s work on that-”

“No strifing.”

Dirk blinks with some surprise but the kid’s face is completely blanked out and completely not interested in being disagreed with. Dirk wonders just what the fuck he did to jump start Dave’s time traveling that made him need to do it. He is not at all interested in ever doing it, so he just agrees maybe a little too enthusiastically and there they go.

Dave manages to timeskip backwards another three times, only up to thirty seconds each time. The third time he appears, he immediately collapses the moment his past self fades. Dirk catches him but Dave shoves at him so he just gets Dave sitting down instead. Dave’s paler than usual and his eyes seem a little glassy.

“We’re done,” Dirk tells him, feeling a little bad he let Dave push himself this much. “We’ll pick up tomorrow.”

Dave looks like he’s going to protest and then nearly passes out and Dirk has to steady him. “...Yeah, okay.”

When Dave can stand again, Dirk helps him down the stairs and neither looks at each other until they’re both in the apartment and Dave’s settled on the futon.

“I’m ordering pizza,” Dirk declares and Dave nods his approval before flopping long ways on the futon to take up every bit of space. Dirk decides he deserves it. When Dave falls asleep after downing more than half of the delivered pizza, Dirk just leaves him there.

He picks up his phone. It’s dead again so he plugs it in. There’s a couple calls from Jane and two more from Roxy. He listens to the messages. Jane’s threatening to fly down again and what happened to their deal, no pie for _life_. Roxy starts off railing at him and by the third message she’s apologising and sappy and worried.

Well. Time to fix this.

The phone rings once and then Roxy’s answering with a wibbly, “Stop doing this to me, you jerk!”

“Sorry.” At least she’s not crying. He would deserve that, but he’s glad she’s not.

“You don’t have an auto-responder anymore. You have to actually pay attention to us!”

Truth. “Sorry. Again.”

“I’m not forgiving you yet,” Roxy sniffs and then immediately caves into, “you’re okay, right? You and Dave are okay? You didn’t do that stupid thing where you just run and run and run in trying solving everyone’s problems, right?”

He could lie. He doesn’t but mostly because she reads three seconds of silence as the confession it is.

“Oh my god, Dirk.” You hear a thump and are uncomfortably certain that she just banged her head against a wall. “You heard me before, right? That he’s a _kid?_ ”

“So were we,” he reminds her but he’s not really trying to fight here. He glances back to the futon where Dave is not quite snoring but is still sleeping like the dead. And then he stops looking and tries again not to think of him being thrown off the ledge. “I was pushing him. I’m not going to anymore.”

“Because you saw reason?” she asks with a hopeful little undertone.

He thinks about that. It’s more because he saw his little brother pretty much just try to murder himself and then collapse because he overworked himself but sure, he’ll go with that. “I need your help. I’m sending you my proposed training schedule for the next week. I want you to fix it.”

She makes a weird noise at that, not quite dismayed, not just confused or surprised. But she promises to fix it for him. They talk a little about what she’s up to with Rose, who is apparently seeing the future but is also kind of confused on which future is happening because it looks like she can see lots of different choices. Jane and her dad are apparently having no luck with John, who both denies having powers and keeps changing the subject when they bring it up. That strikes Dirk as a little odd but he’s not sure why. As for Jake, Roxy got him on the phone once but then he was sweeping Jade off onto another adventure before she could talk to him much.

It’s frustrating but Dirk guesses he kind of understands the way Jake just doesn’t want to think about the game anymore, even if he is stuck in an old, unfamiliar body now.

It’s late when they finally start winding down. Roxy makes him promise to call her tomorrow so she can talk to him about the fixed schedule. He gets it sent over to her so she can look it over.

“Hey,” Dirk says before she can hang up. “I really am. Sorry, I mean.”

She snorts. “You’re gonna have to do better than that to run me off, boyo.”

He grins despite himself. He loves her so very, very much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the missed day. I had a migraine Wednesday night and I was kind of half useless yesterday for anything more than posting already done stuff. 
> 
> But okay! Powers are a go!


	15. Chapter 15

Dave’s nightmares start just after Dirk carries him into his room that night. He doesn’t make a noise but something compels Dirk up off the futon to check on him and that’s when he sees it. Dave lays on his side, his limbs tucked in tight to his body like he’s afraid something is going to come after his innards. His face is pinched, bothered, and his lips keep moving over silent words like a prayer.

Dirk watches it until Dave smooths out, his dreams changing into something he hopes is less horrible. It doesn’t last for long and before Dirk gets back to the futon, he hears a tiny noise squelched out almost immediately. He’s back at the doorway in an instant and Dave’s curled up tight again, his fingers clenched in his pillow and sheets. There are tears gathering at the corners of his tightly shut eyes.

He can’t just stand here and he can’t go back to bed knowing Dave’s suffering, but he has no idea what he can do for him right now. Dirk hasn’t set a foot in this bedroom since the time it was his own. He glances down where even his toes haven’t breached into Dave’s space. He’s been so very careful at respecting the threshold, giving Dave a place to run away to. The forums all screamed about that, about honoring autonomy, about giving the kids the chance to take control of their own piece of territory. Dave hasn’t invited him into this room, even if he has left the door open, and Dirk doesn’t want to ruin the work they’ve already done.

But then there’s another faint whimper, the barest edge of a cry, and Dirk _can’t_.

Dave doesn’t jerk away at the first touch as Dirk brushes a few strands of pale hair from his face. He doesn’t wake up and it doesn’t soothe him either. Taking a deep breath, Dirk firms his hand into petting instead, smoothing Dave’s hair down the way Roxy’s done with him. It always made _him_ feel better and… and it seems to help. The scrunch of Dave’s face gets a little weaker and when Dirk hesitantly presses his other hand to Dave’s back, giving it an awkward rub, Dave uncoils a little bit.

It’s working. _It’s fucking working!_ He’s doing this and it feels so good to get something unquestionably _right_ for once. He can feel the beat of Dave’s heart through his shirt and it is slowing, he’s relaxing, Dirk has got this shit _down_ -

Red eyes crack open a bit and then snap wide as Dave abruptly jerks back from him nearly hard enough to drop right off the bed. Dirk’s back in the doorway half a second later. The two of them stare at each other, Dave’s breathing quick and loud before he manages to make himself calm down.

“The hell, man,” he manages but it’s not up to his usual level of chill.

Dirk is so not prepared to deal with this. “You were dreaming.”

“Yeah, I-” Dave stops and then gropes for his shades on the nightstand without looking away from Dirk. He fits them onto his face and seems more secure that way. “So?”

So. That is a pretty heavy “so”. Dirk traces a line of stitches along the side of his pants and doesn’t let himself look away even though he would really like to just forget this ever happened. The sheer disappointment of being wrong feels like a heavy, nauseating weight in his belly.

“So I heard you,” he tries and then he knows that’s wrong because he sees the way Dave’s shoulders go tight and a muscle in his jaw works as he clenches it.

“Pardon a guy for unconscious noise,” he says, sharp and savage and like he’s angry at Dirk for daring to bring it up.

Dirk wants to tell him that he didn’t necessarily _mind_ , he just… “What was it? That you were dreaming about.”

“That’s a pretty fucking personal question,” Dave almost growls. Dirk should have predicted that.

“Yeah, sorry, you don’t have to talk about it,” he says to try and smooth it over. He hangs a hand on the back of his neck, digging his fingers in like it might steady him, which it doesn’t.

But Dave’s still just watching him. He studies Dirk like a scavenger droid searching out signs of unauthorized life, like he’s trying to figure out if he should just sit tight another day or make a run for it.

“Falling.” Dirk startles at the sound but Dave stares at him steadily as he continues. “I dreamed I was falling.”

And wow, Dirk is a _moron_. He’s been seeing Dave falling all day but Dave lived that shit. Duh he’d have some kind of anxiety response from it, especially since he’s already prone to nightmares anyway.

“You wanna talk about it?” he offers because he knows Roxy would and she’s kind of his only real model at this point.

Dave looks at him like he’s nuts. “ _Dude_.”

“Hey, just offering.” Dirk shrugs a little, awkward and feeling way too exposed. “You think you can get back to sleep?”

“Yeah, probably.”

“Cool.” Dirk hesitates there, floundering a little on what to do next, and then decides he’s probably done enough damage here. “Well. If you need anything-”

“You’re only a room away, man. I know.”

Dirk blinks because sure, that’s pretty flippant, but also… Dave’s stopped looking at him, eyes slid off to stare at something on the wall instead. He’s _embarrassed_ and that’s what clues Dirk into the fact that it must have been a lot more sincere than Dave’s comfortable with. A little more than Dirk’s comfortable with either, to be perfectly honest, but it seems like a good step.

“Yeah,” he confirms and then he leaves Dave to sleep and goes back to the futon.

The next morning, he tells Dave to work on meditating over the time-skip feeling to get more familiar with it and then gets on the phone with Roxy. She sounds a little sleepy and it turns out she’d been up most of the night working on his schedule. He feels kind of bad about that, but she’s so hyped about the whole thing that it doesn’t linger.

“Are two hour breaks really necessary?” Dirk can’t help but ask because they are very clearly cut into blocks for just that.

“I didn’t think so,” Roxy says almost offhand, “but I learned something with Rose. The Game had to have been buffering some of the effects of our wicked cool powers ‘cuz Rose is burning through calories almost faster than she can eat them and Janey says John’s eating them out of house and home, but he’s a boy, so…”

Dirk thinks to the pizza Dave demolished almost completely by himself yesterday. “Okay. Point made.”

“And watch the water intake. It’s hot as hell over there.”

“Yes, Mom.”

“Pft, you _dweeb_.” She gives a little sigh and her voice lowers. “I wish we lived closer. I would hug you _so hard_ right now.”

“Yeah… Maybe we should think about fixing that sometime once the dust settles.” Dirk wants nothing more than to drop everything and head up to New York, but… This is what Dave knows and he can’t ask him to give that up. He can’t ask that of Rose, either. “You doing okay?”

“Mostly.” It speaks volumes that she admits that much, that it’s not _all_ awesome. “Me and Rosie got a system going. See, ‘cuz sometimes I get all momly for some reason but not the way she knows it and it gets confusing for her, but she tells me right off and then we decide if it’s good or not together. We’re making this work, DiStri. She’s such a great kid.”

Dirk’s happy for her, he really is. He also wishes Dave was making it as easy, but… It seems kind of like it’s getting better. Dave’s talking to him, he’s not running from him, he seems to be listening to him… So there’s that.

“I think the parental body chemistry is messing with my head sometimes, though,” Roxy murmurs more thoughtfully. “I know I’m not all the same as I was before.”

“Me, either,” Dirk admits and it’s been kind of a thing he tries not to think about much. “Probably because our hormones aren’t surging anymore. Or something. Biochem isn’t really my thing.”

She snorts. “Yeah. Anyway, you set to go then?”

“Yeah. Thanks for… you know. Everything.”

“So suave, Mr. Strider. _Swoon_.” She’s got the giggle back to her voice and it makes his heart a little lighter to hear it. They’re gonna make this work. They’re gonna fix everything.

Dirk heads up to the roof. Dave’s sitting in the middle of it, legs crossed under him. He glances back over his shoulder when he hears Dirk and his brows lift a bit over the tops of his shades and Dirk is pretty sure he’s staring at the half dead potted plant he’d swiped from a neighbor’s balcony.

“Ready for the next step?” Dirk asks as he sets the pot down in front of Dave and seats himself across from him.

“I dunno what horticulture has to do with magic time powers,” Dave admits, shrugging, “but sure. Let’s do this.”

Good kid. “Okay, Dave. Let’s see if you can send something back in time that isn’t you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I had a completely different plan for this chapter yesterday and instead this happened.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just fyi but there is totally some throwing up in this chapter.

Turns out sending something other than himself physically back in time is impossible for Dave, or at least improbably hard, or there’s some trick to it neither of them can figure out. Whatever the case, the plant stays stubbornly sitting between them into the evening. Dirk thinks it looks a little closer to dead but that’s about it.

He calls it quits at six on the dot, like Roxy said to, and herds a bewildered Dave back inside. Dave doesn’t ask about it though, so Dirk doesn’t admit to anything. Dinner’s quiet and then Dave heads into his room to talk to his friends and leaves the door half open.

Dirk still counts that as progress, even if Dave doesn’t spend much time around him outside of their training hours. He’d probably be a bit antsy himself for more than that, if he’s honest with himself. But… maybe he could get to a point where he wasn’t. He thinks about the lonely years with only his robots to comfort him. It’s amazing he can handle this much interaction already but he is going to work at it. He’s going to figure out how to be better.

The next day is about the same as the first. Dirk isn’t too worried, though. So far all of Dave’s developments have taken a while to settle in and he doesn’t doubt this will be any different. Roxy’s right; they don’t have to run themselves to the ground getting time mastered as fast as possible. If anything, that probably caused some of the setbacks. Dirk is willing to admit that, at least to himself.

That night, Dirk takes to the roof to gaze at the stars because even if they’re off, it’s still comforting. He thinks he’s doing okay right now. Everything’s settling and maybe he wishes this process was going easier but it seems to be doing well enough. Dave’s inhaling anything set in front of him so Dirk’s pretty sure _something_ is happening even if neither of them can tell just yet. Maybe just _trying_ to access Dave’s powers is eating up his energy. Dirk’s not sure and he’s only let Dave try sending _himself_ back in time once per day because he doesn’t want to see the kid near fainting again. That was kind of awful. Besides, Dave seems to be blossoming a little under the new schedule. He was pretty determined before but he seems more into it now. More hopeful, less intensity that kind of creeps Dirk out to remember.

He’s going to have to do something nice for Roxy after this. Maybe she’d like a robot.

When Dirk gets back inside, he pauses because something seems slightly off but he doesn’t know what. He frowns and does a sweep but nothing seems out of place except that he finds another disgusting stain near the door that he can’t believe he’s missed until now. He cleans it up, frowning because whatever it was is still _wet_. Not a set in mess then, and… He is fairly sure it’s vomit. Did Dave lose his lunch and just not bother doing anything about it? Frowning, Dirk peeks into Dave’s room but the kid is sleeping fine, pretty relaxed tonight, and doesn’t seem flushed or feverish, at least from what Dirk can see. He shakes his head and then flops onto the futon to get his own rest, putting the mess out of his mind for now. He’ll ask Dave about it in the morning.

It’s not the first time something weird has happened. Besides, they have more work to get to in the morning. Dirk sleeps fitfully, something scraping at the edges of his perception. He’s grumpy at breakfast but keeps it to himself. It’s enough that he forgets the mess and then goes on up to the roof with Dave when it’s time according to Roxy’s schedule.

It’s not even noon yet and Dirk and Dave been up on the roof for maybe an hour when Dirk’s phone goes off. He answers without thinking much, standing to step aside and let Dave continue glaring the plant into submission, but isn’t able to greet before Jane blurts out, “Jake and Jade are in trouble.”

“What happened?” His tone must have changed because Dave stiffens and looks up at him.

“I don’t know yet. There was a tsunami,” Jane says. Her voice is steady for now but tight. She’s keeping it together but barely. “I saw it on the news. It took out Baker Island first. John says Jade’s island is somewhere near there. It’s just hit Australia. There was barely any time to evacuate-”

Her voice cracks and she just stops talking. Dirk… His mind is suddenly, remarkably clear. He doesn’t have time to comfort her so he doesn’t bother trying. He hangs up and focuses on Dave. “Do you know the exact coordinates of Jade’s island?”

Dave doesn’t ask why. He just gets up and they head back to the apartment. Dirk doesn’t think about it when he follows Dave into his room. Dave looks up the coordinates and then they pinpoint them on a map, right where Jake’s island was in Dirk’s own timeline. John’s right. The island had to be in the path of the wave.

There is very little chance Jade survived. Less that Jake did.

“Bro, what’s-” Dave stops, wincing internally, but Dirk’s already leaving the bedroom to grab his laptop- which is not by the futon where it should be. He finds it on the counter in the kitchenette and doesn’t remember putting it there, but that doesn’t matter.

He’ll handle Dave later; he has to think of a plan now. Dirk pulls up the coverage on the tsunami, does a quick refresher on how tsunamis work to make sure he doesn’t miss anything, then pinpoints the most likely origin point based on the wave spread, speed, and possible causes. Despite it not being right on one of the tectonic plate edges or in an area known for sudden underwater landslides, every instinct in him screams that it’s the island.

He calls Roxy. She answers with a teary, “Dirk?”

“Get Rose.”

Roxy immediately calls Rose to her, already half into a sob. When Rose takes the phone, she’s a lot calmer than her mother but Dirk can tell she’s putting on a brave front more than anything else. “Yes?”

“Did you see it?” he asks and he has no doubt she will know exactly what he’s talking about.

“No,” she says and there’s the faint shake in her resolve but she powers through it. Good. Dirk needs her thinking, not feeling. “Yes. I saw something. It wasn’t distinct. I didn’t know what it was or if it would even happen, just that it was massive and possible. I didn’t know how it would happen if it did.”

He nods, mostly to himself. “Can you pinpoint a single person’s future possibilities or just the general view?”

Rose hesitates. Her breathing shifts just enough for him to hear, a faint hitch, and then she says, “I- I can’t… see anything- There’s so much in flux right now-”

“Look at _Jade_.”

“It’s not like that,” Rose throws out with sudden frustration. “I don’t- I can’t just decide what to see like that-”

Dave grabs Dirk’s arm and suddenly something _shifts_. The call cuts out. Dirk isn’t sure what happened but when Dave lets go, he stumbles a few steps and his back hits the front door before he collapses to his knees and throws up on the carpet. Dirk stares at his kid brother and then looks around the apartment because his senses are screaming-

There should be mid morning light shining through the east side windows. Instead, it’s dark with only the reflections of the street lights and ambient light all around the building. Dirk looks into Dave’s room where he is sleeping soundly in bed and then back to Dave crouched miserably by the front door. He looks at the mess of sick. He understands.

“We gotta get lost,” Dave says, breathy and looking like he might pass out right there. “The loop.”

Dirk nods. He grabs his laptop and then changes his mind and leaves it in the kitchenette instead. The phone in his pocket can do almost anything the laptop can anyway. He helps Dave up and can’t really get an arm under his to support him due to the size difference so he just drags Dave onto his back as they leave the apartment. Dirk ignores the elevator and hops across the flights of stairs to reach the ground as soon as he can. He sets Dave down outside where Dave proceeds to get sick again.

Dirk tugs out his phone and checks it. They’ve got about four hours before the tsunami hits Australia, so less time to figure out how the hell to get Jake and Jade free of it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I... do not like this chapter. It feels rushed, I want to rewrite it, but I'm not letting myself do that because it's part of my challenge in this story. I have to accept the work I finish for it and I'm not allowed to spend days second guessing myself. I just have to write it. Basically, I'm trying to train myself into finishing it all in a first draft instead of doing a chapter, rewriting twice, and then accepting it as a finished piece and possibly losing my steam part way through. 
> 
> So, hopefully it still reads okay.


	17. Chapter 17

They end up sacked out at a Waffle House to make sure they won’t run the risk of seeing their past selves. Dave’s pretty insistent on that one, something about unstable loops and the complete degeneration of the timeline. Dirk’s catching on okay but Dave doesn’t seem to really know what he’s talking about. He says the words like he’s reading them, not like he really understands them.

It’s also because Dave had been slurring those words and barely able to string them together in the first place and that was just enough to snap Dirk partially out of fix it mode long enough to fix _Dave_.

Dave naps in the booth after wolfing down two heaping plates of pancakes and eggs and a side of bacon Dirk had technically ordered for himself but that he didn’t really want to fight Dave’s ravenous hunger for. He still looks pretty off color and Dirk sees a few of the waitresses give him a worried look. One of them pops over with a little package of chocolate chip cookies and a meaningful glance.

“He been sick long?” she asks softly, pitched with sympathy.

Dirk is not going to ever get over how weird it is that random strangers get interested in other people’s lives. It’s as weird as having other people at all. “Nah, he’s just a little under the weather today.”

He learned that phrase from the tv because he has no idea how he’d explain Dave’s time-sick.

“Poor little sprout.” She gives him a smile and then goes off to handle some new customers walking in the door. Dirk turns to his phone where he’s been writing out everything he knows about the kids’ powers, at least from the game. There hadn’t been much time to talk when he got to them, considering the final confrontation had already started, but he writes down everything he can remember, every hint he’d gotten from shouted orders.

Rose, Roxy, Jake, and Dirk himself can’t do any kind of teleportation, as far as he knows, in or out of the game. His flashstep is pretty fast but not that fast and he doesn't like his chances of keeping it up long enough to walk on water, even if he thought he could get to the island in time. His powers wouldn’t be useful for this either, even if he still had them which it’s looking like he doesn’t.

John had been able to pop in and out from nowhere but Dirk thinks that had more to do with dissolving into wind and just _going_ where he wanted to go or using a static game mechanic to do it. He was pretty fast but Dirk has no idea what kind of distance he’d been able to go or how much energy it might take now without the game buoying his powers. Especially since he seemed to be resisting any possibility of training those abilities now.

Jade, while possessed, had popped Dirk to the outer reaches. He doesn’t know if she can do that for herself and Jake but it’s about the best option he can think of. _If_ she can figure out how to do it on the fly. _If_ her body can handle it.

Dirk gives Dave’s pale, sleeping face a glance. Just this much - as if it were any small feat for normal people to go several hours back in time- had pushed him to a limit. Dirk doesn’t know if it’s a _hard_ limit but he is not quite ready to push it just yet. He keeps it as an option, though. If they can’t do this right, fast enough…

Well.

He checks to see if anyone is paying attention to them and then dials the island’s number. So far, Jade tends to be the one that answers it but it’s even odds if she or Jake are even in the house. Dirk’s not particularly surprised no one does answer. He cues up pesterchum instead and Jade’s online at least.

He considers how to break this to her gently since he doesn’t know how much Jake or the other kids may have told her, how much she might have already known. Instead, he does this.

> TT: There’s a tsunami set to hit your island. You need to teleport you and your grandfather away.  
>  GG: what?  
>  GG: is this some kind of prank???  
>  TT: No. Dave took him and me back in time to make sure you and Jake survive it.  
>  TT: You need to figure out teleporting right now.  
>  GG: what???  
>  TT: You are the Witch of Space. This should be cake.  
>  GG: you’re serious aren’t you?  
>  GG: i don’t know how to teleport!!!!  
>  GG: all i’ve done is make a few things super tiny!  
>  GG: is that really something i’m supposed to be able to do?! :( :( :(  
>  GG: HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DO THIS?!  
>  TT: Believe in yourself, Jade. You can do the thing.  
>  GG: i really don’t think i can!  
>  TT: Get Jake. Tell him he needs to believe in you.  
>  GG: how is that supposed to help?!  
>  TT: Jake’s powers are all about hope. If he believes hard enough anything is possible.

Dirk actually has no idea if Jake’s powers are active and they probably aren’t but he doesn’t think it’s necessary to tell her that. If Dave can do what he does, Jade definitely can and he is not going to let her doubt herself.

Jade says she’s going to get Jake and Dirk looks at the list of power descriptions again, trying to figure out anything that might give them the edge they need. He keeps rounding back to John. Dirk knows tsunamis aren’t caused by weather but it strikes him that maybe some other force could be manipulated to slow one down or maybe channel some of the energy from it. It’s a longshot but it could be the couple extra seconds Jade needs to figure her shit out.

Jane’s dad answers when he calls, a little groggy. “Cr-Egbert residence.”

“It’s Dirk,” he says. “I need to talk to John.”

“It’s five in the morning-”

“And in three and a half hours, a tsunami is going to wipe out Jade’s island. _Now put John on the phone_.”

There’s a beat of silence and then Jane’s dad excuses himself. Dirk faintly hears him talk to someone, hears John complain about being awakened, and then John’s on with a miserable, “What is your problem? It’s not even-”

“How strong are those wind powers right now?”

John makes a sound like he’s choking and his voice goes abruptly quick, almost panicked. “What?! I don’t have any-”

“Look, I don’t know what your denial thing is about,” Dirk interrupts and he knows he’s being harsh but he can’t stop himself, “but it’s about to get some of our friends killed. You have them; Dave, Rose, and Jade have them; it’s time to face facts. Now _how strong are the wind powers?_ ”

“What are you talking about?! Killed?”

“Jade and and her grandfather are in danger. I need to buy them some time. _You_ are my only option.”

John goes quiet but Dirk can hear the way his breathing is catching.

“John, it’s time to step up,” Dirk starts again but then John lets out an explosive sigh.

“It’s supposed to be over,” he complains. “It’s all supposed to _go away_.”

_What?_ “John-”

“Why are you even poking it?! Why are any of you just- _I don’t want to do that anymore!_ ”

It clicks. Dirk stares across the restaurant as some of the pieces fit into place. “You remember.”

“I don’t want to!” John snarls back and in the background, John’s dad seems to be trying to placate him. “I’m tired of all that end of the world stuff, all the hero stuff. I just wanna be a kid again and- and go to school and play video games that aren’t going to kill me and...”

Dirk feels him, he really does, but right now he can’t let him off the hook. “John, breathe. I get it. Okay? I get it, I really do, but Jade and Jake are going to die if we don’t do something. You have the best shot of helping them.”

John draws in a shaky breath through his teeth. There’s a muffled sound, a long pause, and then John says quieter, “Okay. What’s the plan?”

They hash it out pretty quickly. Turns out, John’s got pretty much the same level of control over the breeze as he did in the game, just not the endurance. Dirk will think about that later when they’re not scrambling. John promises to do his best and then hangs up. Checking back on pesterchum, Dirk sees a message waiting.

> GG: grandpa doesn’t believe you, but i do.  
>  GG: i’m going to try.  
>  GG: wish me luck!!!  
>  TT: You won’t need it. You can do it, Jade. Do the thing.

She doesn’t answer but he isn’t surprised by that. Dirk checks the time. They have three hours. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just wanted to give a quick thank you to everyone who offered critique and reassurance about the last chapter. I really appreciated all of it. Sometimes I have terrible anxiety about the level of my writing but you guys are literally the best. Thank you.
> 
> Also good job to the folks who saw this twist coming.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uuuuhhhh this one gets a little metaphorical.

The only way Dirk can tell anything is happening is by following the news. He pulls it up on his phone while Dave sleeps, keeping his eyes peeled for anything around Australia. The waitress checks in on them here and there, giving Dave the most pitying looks each time, but doesn’t seem to be in any hurry to shoo them out. She brings Dirk a coffee and he’s never actually tried coffee but one sip and he’s pretty sure he will _never_ try it again.

But, of course, he can’t _not_ drink the rest of it. That would be wasteful and also rude. He drinks the next cup she pours, too, and by the end of that, coffee’s not nearly so awful, especially with a couple sugar packets into it and a little bucket of cream. He feels a lot more alert now.

When Dirk gets tired of finding nothing on network news sites, he toggles the phone’s operating system to the backup he’d originally built for hacking into troll mainframes and uses it instead to get into the systems of various government atmospheric and weather study systems so he can track any and every change that’s being recorded. He wishes he’d brought his laptop. It’s so much easier to type on.

That’s how he notices a strange build up of cloud cover a couple hundred miles north east of Fuji and raising winds that the scientists seem to have no logical explanation for. He reads a few panicked messages sent between them and supervisors while the build up continues and almost feels sorry for them. He starts seeing calm and orderly advisories sent out to the news to give the regular folks on the various islands around there a heads up but the internal dialogues are a lot more frightened. Someone mentions the X-men in passing and someone else replies that “the mutants are among us all is lost” but the rest of it is a lot of whinging and worry.

John seems to be getting _something_ done. Dirk’s not sure if it’ll be enough or done on time, but at least the kid is trying. It’s more use than Dirk is right now sitting in a goddamn Waffle House in Texas.

He studies the seismological data for the area around Jade’s island but the place isn’t exactly a hotbed of activity. The island is solidly on the Pacific plate and he can’t find anything about possible underwater volcanos or anything else in the area that could trigger a tsunami event of the size it’s got to be. He has no idea why it happens.

Unless it’s something _they_ do. Dirk dismisses that. If he’s got the time stuff figured out, there has to be a tsunami to complete the time loop, so it doesn’t matter what causes it, just that they get Jade and Jake clear and no one else knows until after Dave and Dirk go backwards. He doesn’t quite have the instinctive head for it that Dave does, but he can understand this much at least. He can’t let anything he doesn’t already remember happen.

His pesterchum insistently buzzes and he realizes they're down to two hours. He first mistakes the green for Jade before realizing it’s too dark for that.

> GT: Whats this fussy business about a storm jade keeps going on about and why arent i allowed to ask anyone but you?  
>  GT: Stop scaring my grandma with your hootenanny!  
>  GT: This is *no* way to get my attention.  
>  GT: Er granddaughter i mean.

Dirk… is not actually sure what to say to that (or to Jake at all.) He hadn’t expected Jake would bother talking to him without being forced to do it. And now… Well. What to explain, what to withhold.

> TT: I would suggest listening to her instead of interrogating me.  
>  TT: And maybe helping her with the whole hope thing.  
>  GT: What are you even going on about?  
>  GT: I didnt do the hope thing even when i HAD powers.  
>  GT: No powers now!  
>  TT: You could try encouraging her. See where that goes.  
>  GT: Why is this so dang blasted important anyway?  
>  TT: Because you are going to die if she doesn’t get it right.  
>  TT: Not to put too fine a point on it but somewhere in the next two hours, your island is going to be wiped off the map and the two of you with it.  
>  GT: Ive weathered plenty of storms before.  
>  TT: Not like this.  
>  TT: Trust me, you need to be with her on this.  
>  GT: We dont have such a great history of trust between us.

Ain’t that the truth. Weird of him to say it so plainly, though. Dirk wonders if Jake’s getting a dose of the weird grownupification that he, Roxy, and Jane seems to be experiencing. He’ll think about it when Jake’s not facing certain death.

> TT: Dave did the time thing. I’ve seen what happens.  
>  TT: You and Jade need off the island as quickly as possible. It was already too late for a boat even with the time travel. She’s got some amount of power from the game.  
>  TT: Work with her. Believe in her.  
>  TT: Don’t even think about me.  
>  GT: Kind of a difficult undertaking, mate.

Dirk tries to ignore the little thrill that makes him want to take that as Jake having trouble not thinking of _him_ , and in a good way. It definitely isn’t and he is so stupid for even considering it.

> TT: Right.  
>  TT: Anything else?  
>  GT: No ive got my marching orders now.  
>  GT: Tally ho!  
>  TT: Floor it.

Then Jake’s gone and Dirk takes a moment to rub at one eye under his shades. He doesn’t know how to feel about that. It had almost been friendly. It had almost felt normal. He is so incredibly stupid if he dares to read _anything_ more into it. Dirk glances to Dave, who’s slumped further and has his shades a little askew, enough that Dirk sees a few dark, fine eyelashes at the edge of one lens. There’s going to be a pressure mark in Dave’s cheek from the edge of the window sill he’s leaning on.

Dirk hates that Dave’s friend is in danger and that he can’t do a damn thing about it from here. He is only one step above useless because he did at least carry out the warning, but that’s where his use trails out. He hates not being a more active part of this. No one would ever narrate this story from his point of view.

He guesses they could just hang out here until noon and then go home. By then, it’ll all be over and-

Dirk stops because something about Dave has changed- No. Nothing about Dave has changed, everything about how Dirk is _seeing_ Dave changes. There is something coiled inside Dave’s body, connected to everything but separated. Pulsing with his heartbeat, weakened by just how far he’d pushed himself. Bright red and shot with white and tinges of blue, green, and purple, a swirling mess of exhaustion.

Dirk is seeing Dave’s soul. It’s right there, right in front of him if he looks just right. And seeing it, Dirk begins seeing more. There are tiny tendrils of _something_ echoing out from it, not truly connected to anything so much as reaching for it. Some of them reaching to people he doesn’t see, one of them...

One of them reaching for _him_. His chest clenches as he looks down at his own chest, at the beating orange within himself that is doing the same thing. He doesn’t know why except he _does_. It’s reaching because a relationship has been forming between them. A slow show of study and caution, of fear twisting into something almost like trust. Something _exactly_ like trust. It’s reaching because Dave has become a part of him that he will not see lost and he is becoming the same to Dave.

He looks at the waitress and suddenly knows she has a husband and three kids and one of her parents is dead but the other one is still kicking. The cook’s got six dogs at home and no one but the waitstaff but loves them all like his own kids. A man in one of the other booths has the jagged, broken soul of loss that has made bitter pieces of what once was whole.

Dirk looks away as his head starts to ache. He takes a breath slow and easy. This is _not_ what he’d been able to do in the game. He has no idea where it’s coming from now, but somehow it feels familiar anyway. It’s right, it’s solid, it’s what he was meant for. He wonders if this is how it’s felt for Dave and if Dave’s been as terrified of it as Dirk suddenly is.

He could reach into any of these people and tear the soul from their bodies or worse, fracture it and them into dozens of pieces. He could decimate whole communities into blithering fools or thoughtless, soulless grunts.

He closes his eyes. The souls are still there, quieter but at the edge of his perception unless he concentrates on them. He wonders if he could feel Roxy from here and then he _does_. It’s faint from distance and he doesn’t get much from her except the knowledge that it _is_ her, but it’s something. He seeks out Jake next and there he is. Fainter still but so very familiar. He’s with- that’s Jade. She’s so warm even with the distance and he can catch the barest hint of intent and determination.

Dirk has no idea what he’s doing but he reaches for her. He feels his heart rate skyrocket but ignores it as he touches the edges of her bright, flickering light. Concentrating on one alone, the distance begins to fade and he sees her more clearly. She’s got the same reaching tendrils that Dave did, probably reaching for the same people- Yes. Yes, she is, he sees it now, and the tentative link forming between her and Jake.

He can see her goal and then he sees the power locked within her under a veil of blue that leaves the taste of after-rain in his mouth. It’s holding her back. It’s keeping her caged. Dirk tears it away and then all he knows is _pain_. It streaks red hot through him, lighting up every inch of his skin, digging into his bones, tearing him apart bit by agonizing bit.

And then he doesn’t feel anything anymore.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Preface: I have never had a seizure. Most of this comes from anecdotal things a friend of mine who did have seizures described to me a while back. So, take with a grain of salt and also note that I left some things out on purpose due to squick factor. I did my best to be respectful.

Dirk is suddenly aware of someone dragging open one of his eyes and shining a light into it. He groans and tries to swipe them away but his hands feel like they weigh ten tons and he’s having trouble getting his thoughts together.

“Partial consciousness and he’s breathing fine,” he hears someone say and then they’re asking, “Mr. Strider, can you hear me?”

It takes Dirk twice before he can answer with a weak, slurred, “Yes.”

“You suffered a seizure. I’m trying to help, okay? Stay with me?”

“Yeah.” Dirk thinks he should be remembering something important but he can’t get his brain to _work_.

“Everything’s okay. You can relax. We’ve got you. You’re safe.”

They’ve got him but he doesn’t really feel any better. His body still isn’t quite doing what he wants it to do and he’s not even sure what he wants it to do in the first place. He keeps having trouble understanding what he’s seeing, why any of this is important. He’s not even entirely sure where he is right now.

“Has he had seizures before? Is he on any kind of medication?”

“No.”

Dirk knows that voice. He’s not really sure why. It’s there, a tiny point of _right_ in a sea of _wrong_. He tries rolling onto his hands and knees to get up, but then there are hands keeping him on his side, gentle but firm enough that he can’t quite waste the effort fighting them. They go away when he stops trying to move. He blinks a few times and his vision gets a little clearer, or maybe he’s just better understanding what he’s seeing? Everything seems too bright and too dark at the same time and the edges are all wrong. He can’t figure out what he’s even seeing.

“Do you know if he took anything?”

“No.”

“Did he seem out of it before he started seizing?”

“He was fine! They’ve been here all morning and he was just playing with his phone while the kid napped and he talked just fine, so polite. I see druggies every day, sir, and he was definitely not on anything.”

She sounds familiar too but he has no idea why. Except he sort of does. It’s almost there but pushing just makes his head hurt. His mouth feels overly wet and he swallows gathered saliva to rid himself of the feeling. Slowly, he starts being able to focus and there is a person knelt down beside him. Her hand is on his shoulder and he thinks she’s trying to comfort him. She keeps talking to the other people around and then looks at him and checks in as he pulls himself out of whatever the hell just happened.

“Time is it,” he mutters and he knows time is important but not _why_.

“A little before noon,” the woman says and her clothing is resolving itself out into something familiar. Abruptly, he knows she’s a paramedic. Her dark hair is drawn into a tight tail away from her face. She’s got kind eyes and her mouth pulls into a gentle smile he’s sure would be comforting if he could remember _why time is important_. “How are you feeling, Mr. Strider? A little clearer?”

“Dirk,” he says because Mr. Strider bothers him for some reason.

“Okay, Dirk. How do you feel?”

“Tired.”

“I’ll bet. Do you know where you are?”

That takes a few seconds and then he’s able to come up with, “Waffle House.”

“That’s right. You had a seizure, Dirk. Do you know if you’ve ever had one before?”

“No.”

She gives his shoulder a little squeeze and then starts helping him sit up. He feels like he’s been swimming for hours, like every muscle in his body got pushed to the limit. And he’s _tired_. Things are still a little confused but starting to resolve in his head as the paramedic gets him up on the seat. She checks his eyes again, has him go through some kind of verbal exercise he’s sure has some kind of purpose other than making him feel like an idiot and then-

“Dave,” he says abruptly and starts to look for him when the paramedic drags the kid into his field of vision. Dave is pale and stiff looking but he’s there and apparently fine, even if he does seem like he’s sucking on a lemon.

“Hey, man,” Dave says and there’s something wrong with his voice but Dirk is pretty sure he kind of scared the hell out of him so that is probably not so weird. “Are you done with your princess faint?”

“Think so.” Dirk shrugs a bit and looks to the paramedic, who seems to be trying not to laugh at them.

“Do you live far?” she asks as she hands his shades over and he realizes he hadn’t been wearing them. “I’ll drop you off. It’s not a good idea for you to drive right now. I don’t think you really need to be hospitalized but you should take it easy today and make an appointment with your gp asap, okay?”

Dirk just nods to her. He’s still trying to figure out why the time is so important. He does remember he hasn’t paid though and digs out his wallet to give to the waitress to sort out. She takes one look at it and shoves his hand back against his chest.

“On the house, honey. You two just feel better. Maybe come get some waffles later, yeah?”

“Uh, okay.”

The paramedic and her partner help Dirk out of the restaurant. He’s a little wobbly but he manages to get his feet going one in front of the other after a few steps. Dave’s following close behind as they load up into the ambulance. Dirk’s never seen the inside (hadn’t seen the outside until a few days into his new life) so that’s cool, he guesses. The paramedics get back to their building quickly and then stay with them all the way up to the apartment. The lady guides him over to the futon for one last check and Dirk hears her partner giving Dave a rundown of what happened, what to expect, what might prompt a need to call 911 again, and then makes sure he has other adults he could contact. The kid takes it like a trooper and doesn’t mention that Miss Lalonde and Mr. Egbert are on the other sides of the country.

When they’ve left, Dave comes to sit down on the other side of the futon, one knee drawn up to his chest.

“What did you do?” Dave asks without looking at him.

And Dirk remembers this much suddenly. “I used my powers.”

Dave looks at him from the corner of his eye and then back to the blank TV. “Kicks like a bitch, doesn’t it?”

“I guess.”

He has his game powers, or at least some facsimile of them. Some new version. He was… He’d been using them on Jade. He’d been reaching out to her soul for- for….

Oh _shit_. Dirk turns on the TV and flips it to a news channel. They’re giving decent coverage to the tsunami that took out a huge swath of the Australian coast half an hour ago and several islands along the way. It’s massive and they’re talking about effects being felt all the way to California. There’s rampant speculation on the causes.

Dirk doesn’t know how long he was reaching for Jade or messing with her soul, but it must have been longer than he’d thought or maybe he was seizing for a long time but…

He drags out his phone and the first message he sees is from Jane.

> GG: They’re safe.  
>  GG: We’ve got them.  
>  GG: Jade teleported them here.

Dirk puts down the phone and shoves his shades up into his hair so he can cover his face with his hands. They did it. They saved them. _They’re okay_.

Worth it, he decides. 


	20. Chapter 20

Dirk doesn’t last long after that before he falls into a dreamless sleep on the futon. He wakes up in the middle of the night and he is _ravenous._ He fumbles his way to the fridge and chows down on anything he can readily eat without preparing in some way.

If they keep up this whole using powers thing, he’s going to have to put a bigger portion of his smutty earnings into keeping this thing stocked. Then again, he’s not really keen on having another damn seizure for the trouble. He wonders why the effects hit him harder than Dave and then considers the fact that Dave had already been doing small scale stuff for two months, what with seeing timelines and everything, so his body had apparently already been acclimating, but Dirk just kind of did it all at once.

It sounds logical enough. He’s going to have to test this out, see how far he can push without seizing. It also means he is going to have to keep the kid from pushing too hard and possibly having the same problem. Dave wouldn’t say what it was like seeing Dirk like that but Dirk is pretty sure he doesn’t want to see it happen to Dave or anyone else.

He goes back to sleep once his stomach is settled enough to let him. He sleeps late into the morning and this time he wakes up because his phone is going off. Dirk fumbles for it, dropping it twice before he manages to get it to his ear for a groggy, “Huh?”

“Ready for a road trip?” Jane asks and he can hear the ridiculous smile in her voice.

“I- what?”

“Four of us are in Washington. School’s out for the summer. There is no better time!” He looks at the phone to make sure this is Jane talking instead of Roxy and then goes over what she said again to try and make it make more sense.

It… kind of doesn’t. “Okay.”

“Great! I already sent the ticket confirmations to your email. You’ve got three hours until take off. See you when you get here!”

She hangs up before Dirk can ask her what the _fuck_. Squinting at the phone a bit, he digs into his email where he does have a message waiting from her and… Plane tickets. She or someone else bought him two tickets from Houston to Seattle, Washington. Dirk blinks a bit and then his brain actually switches on.

Well. It’s not like he wasn’t eventually planning on doing the big get together. And it would be nice to see in person that Jake and Jade are okay.

He glances up and sees Dave in his doorway, curious and trying not to show it. Dirk sits up and waves the phone vaguely at him.

“Looks like we’re going to Grandma’s house.”

Dave tilts his head. “Sweet. I’ll pack my best nightgown. Wouldn’t want John’s to turn out prettier than mine.”

“Better make it quick. Jane didn’t give us a lot of time.”

Dave shrugs and heads on to pack a bag. Dirk takes the time to wash up and get dressed in fresh clothes. He’s feeling better than he did but still not great. Dirk stuffs some clothes and things into a bag. He doesn’t know how long they’ll be gone but surely there’s a washer and dryer at the Egbert place.

They take a cab to the airport, get checked in, and catch lunch at an overpriced and underwhelming airport restaurant because settling to wait at their gate. Dirk spends most of the wait looking into plane statistics to assure himself that this is relatively safe way to travel (and kicking himself for not checking when Roxy first came to see him. He had been way in the wrong headspace for too long.)

The trip itself is uneventful except for a kid losing her ever loving mind over not getting to have peanuts like the last time she was on a plane ride. The mom’s voice is low and terse but Dirk hears something about allergies before the kid finally calms down to sniffle pathetically. They have to switch to a connecting flight part way through and then they’re settling in Seattle soon enough.

Neither he nor Dave brought more than the carry-on but they head down to baggage claim anyway, following the sea of other passengers because it’s easier than trying to escape the herd. Dirk makes sure not to let Dave stray from his side as he concentrates on his breathing to keep from getting overwhelmed by the sheer amount of people there and the tight quarters. The Houston airport had been huge and crowded and they’d gotten through it so Dirk is not about to let himself freak out here.

There’s a familiar shade of gray-blue near the front doors. Dirk nudges Dave’s shoulder and they hurry over. The moment she sees them, Jane’s face almost cracks in two from the force of her smile. She grabs Dirk up in a tight hug and then ruffles Dave’s hair, much to his dismay.

“Come on! Roxy got here this morning with Rose,” Jane says as she catches hold of a hand each and drags the Striders behind her. Dave gives her hand the most disconcerted look but Dirk follows after her happy as a clam. They’re out of the airport, out of the crush, all his friends are here, why wouldn’t he be?

Well, he’s going to see Jake but right now that’s kind of a good thing.

Jane leads them to where her dad is waiting in the car. He gives them both a quick hello as they load in and then they’re off to the house. Dave seems to be vibrating with energy next to Dirk, even though he’s perfectly still. Dirk examines him from the corner of his eye before it abruptly dawns on him that this will be the first time Dave’s had all his friends in one place, and his first time meeting Jade. He can definitely understand the excitement. Dirk’s kind of really glad he’s getting all his ducks in a row, too.

Jane spends the ride back filling them in on the last twenty-four hours. Apparently, Jake and Jade had shown up on the tail end of Long Beach and Jade had collapsed almost immediately. Jake, using more chill than Dirk knew he was even capable of, had gotten them off the beach and into town where they could find a payphone. He’d apparently called Roxy first and then she’d called Jane, who set up a ride to get them to her place.

Jane’s voice gets just a touch tight then and Dirk is sure that must have been a pretty awkward reunion. While he would have liked being there to support them, he’s kind of glad he missed out. It’s going to be awkward enough for _him_. Dirk tries not to dread it as they got closer to the house.

“Why does it feel like you think we’re going to an execution?” Dave mutters low to keep it between them. “Is this Jake guy that bad?”

Dirk blinks a little, surprised that Dave noticed and then kind of embarrassed because that means he’s emoting too much. He sighs a little, shrugging his shoulder.

“Last time Jake and I saw each other, it didn’t end on good terms,” he admits even though that is the understatement of the year. And it’s not just the last time they were physically around each other, either. He’d gotten a little clingy and stalkery at the end. Well. A _lot_.

“If you tell me that Jade’s grandpa is your ex, I will flip this car,” Dave shoots back as his lip curls a little, reading everything into that that Dirk hadn’t really wanted him to. “I will flip _all_ the cars.”

“He was sixteen, too,” Dirk defends but Dave just rolls his eyes with his entire head and then stares pointedly out the window for the rest of the trip.

Jane’s house is nice in all the sitcom-y ways. The lawn is neatly trimmed, the flowers well maintained, and the whole thing reeks of wholesome family. Dirk prefers the colors of his apartment, but this place isn’t too terrible for suburbia.

Roxy’s out as they start leaving the car. She grabs Dirk in a tight, lunging hug that knocks them back against the car but he doesn’t mind a bit and just clings harder back. She smells like sugar and spice and everything nice.

“Doofus,” she murmurs affectionately in his ear before letting go. Dirk shoulders his bag and lets her tug him towards the front door. He glanced back towards Dave but Jane is fussing at him over something and the kid looks so entirely embarrassed that Dirk is definitely not going to save him. Dave can probably use the change to his paradigm.

As Roxy opens the door, Dirk freezes as he hears Jake’s voice. It’s different in person than catching it in the background over a phone call with Jade. Fuller, deeper, with a smoky edge to it that gets Dirk way more than it should. His laugh seems so _big_. Dirk swallows and lets Roxy pull him through the door. Across the living room stands a man Dirk doesn’t recognize but can’t mistake.

Jake lifts his head from where he’d been joking around with John. His eyes meet Dirk and the smile abruptly drops from his mustachioed face.

Well. This is awkward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whelp. It was gonna happen sometime.


	21. Chapter 21

Jake is probably about half a foot shorter than Dirk is. He’s leaner, definitely. Dirk’s body is built up for swords and probably show since he’s lost some size in the last couple months with just his sword exercises, but Jake’s made up for endurance and agility. Even at Jake’s current age, it’s pretty obvious he’s still galavanting around considering the steady, ready stance he adopts without thinking. Dirk lets himself study the shock white of his hair, the wide spread of his jaw, the winkles marking his eyes and his mouth.

There’s some of Jake still in that face but it’s hard to separate it out from the age. Most of it is in the expression, the way Jake stares like he’s waiting for this to go bad because he knows it will but kind of hopes he doesn’t have to deal with the consequences. Dirk isn’t really sure it _won’t_ go bad.

“Hey, Strider,” Jake says finally. His voice is all wrong and even more stiff than he’s standing.

“Jake,” Dirk manages and even that much feels like he’s taking a wrong step. “Heard you and Jade got in okay.”

“Oh, that girl got us through just fine.” Jake laughs a little, awkward and vague. “She’s sleeping it off. Poor thing, Jane did some of her healing mumbo-jumbo and said to just let her rest.”

So Jane had figured through some amount of her powers, too. Good to know- Dirk pauses. If Jane had to _heal-_ He finds his attention drawn to John, who has gained a bit of guilt to his expression. He twitches when he feels Dirk’s gaze and then sneaks a look back. Dirk narrows his eyes. It takes nearly a minute with Jake and Roxy looking between them in confusion but John lets out an explosive sigh.

“Okay, it’s not like I knew that would happen,” John mutters, his shoulders scrunching up.

“I think you should probably tell us what _did_ happen,” Dirk replies in the dryest tone he can manage.

“Maybe sitting down first?” Jane pipes up from behind, shoving the small of Dirk’s back lightly. He obligingly moves out of her way so that she and Dave can come inside. Dave gives Jake a glance and then shoots Dirk a look that makes it clear he thinks Dirk is nuts. He has no idea how to respond to that so Dirk just lets Jane corral them all to different seats. They have to pull a few chairs from other rooms but soon accommodate everyone. Jane’s dad joins them in the middle of the shuffle, having been sitting with Jade, and then Dirk decides it’s been long enough.

“Better get out with it, John,” Dirk says and all eyes choose either him or John. The kid looks a little disgruntle about it. “You remember the game.”

“Yeah, so?” John folds his arms over his chest as Jane, Jake, and Roxy all stiffen with the revelation. “It’s _over_.”

“Maybe for you,” Roxy says and her voice is a little soft, pinched, “but some of us got a real short stick.”

“I didn’t know that would happen!”

“But it did. To us, too, didn’t it?” Dave’s lips press into a thin white line as he regards his friend. John shifts uncomfortably under the attention. “What happened, John?”

“Look, I did what I had to do, okay? You would have done the same if you could,” John insists and his voice is starting to lift in pitch as well as volume. “We were just supposed to play a game and suddenly the world ends and everyone’s dying and-”

“Whoa, dude.” Dirk lifts a hand, silencing the kid before he can get too worked up. “No one’s accusing you of anything. We just want to know what happened. And me, personally, I want to know what you did to Jade’s soul.”

John jerks with surprise along with half the room. Dirk hadn’t really meant to do that but he gamely saddles the attention. “So, yeah, I have my powers again, kind of. Anyway, before the tsunami started, I maybe kind of used them to look at Jade’s soul. And possibly free it from some kind of block I’m pretty sure _you_ put there, John.”

There’s a few seconds of silence and then Jane reaches up her rub her head. “ _Dirk_.”

“She needed her powers, Jane. The block was-”

“It was just supposed to keep back the memories! So we could be kids again!” John explodes and wow, that makes some sense Dirk really doesn’t like, but it also takes the heat off him.

“Did we ask for that?” Rose asks. There’s a strange look on her face, curious but also just a touch cautious, like she’s fairly sure she won’t like the answer.

“What? No- I mean, there wasn’t a lot of opportunity and-” John starts pacing, hands zipping into motion. “It already failed _four times_ and I was tired of having to go back and restart again and-”

“ _What_ failed?”

John stops and Dirk doesn’t blame him. His dad can get pretty authoritarian when he wants to. Jeff lets him stew a bit before he decides to let him off. He gets up from his chair and crosses the room to set his hands on John’s shoulders, staring at him until the kid manages to look up at him.

“Let me explain something,” Jeff starts, infinitely kinder than Dirk could ever hope to be. “Whatever you did or made happen, there have been some rather dire consequences. I have the memories of two different lives in my head. Your grandmother should be a sixteen year old girl. This took away most of her life. It is the same for Jade’s grandfather. Mr. Strider and Miss Lalonde are twice their own ages. Your friends have been dealing with powers they don’t understand and that have caused them pain. You saw the state Jade was in when she got here.”

John stops looking at him half way through it. His eyes stick to the floor, hands curled into tight fists at his sides. Dirk wonders just how bad off Jade was before Jane healed her.

“Is this really better than whatever the alternative was?” Jeff asks softly. John nods once, silent and stiff. Jeff watches him a while longer, then says, “Then we will simply have to work with what we have to fix things into an even better outcome. It’s time to give their memories back so they can make their own decisions about what is to be done.”

John’s face scrunches, his brows furrowed hard like he thinks this is the worst idea they could possibly have but Dirk can see the way he’s fighting to do what his dad says. It’s not a feeling Dirk is particularly acquainted with and kind of hopes he never has to feel.

“Yo, I volunteer as tribute,” Dave says, getting up, and Dirk has the sudden urge to wrangle him back onto the couch again. He holds it, barely, as Dave takes the two steps needed to stand in front of John and his dad. “Get on with it. Lay hands and shit. I am readier than a virgin on prom night.”

Jane groans as Roxy lets out a giggle but Dirk can’t find anything particularly amusing about this right now. Before John can answer, however, Rose gets up and steps to Dave’s side. She bumps her shoulder to his, smiling lightly, and then murmurs, “Perhaps together.”

And Roxy is suddenly not giggling anymore either. Dirk catches her gaze, hoping to reassure her she’s not alone in the worry and she gives him a tight, insincere grin for his trouble.

“You’re sure?” John asks dubiously and Dave shrugs a shoulder but Rose just smiles. Taking a breath, John reaches out and touches their foreheads. There’s nothing obvious but when Dirk looks within them, he suddenly sees slivers of blue tugging free of the red and purple of their souls. It doesn’t leave completely but the cages fade as if they had never been there. When he closes down that part of his sight, he sees Dave stumble back a step and he’s on his feet in a second to steady him and Rose.

“Dude,” Dave says, his voice tight with fury, “ _not cool._ ”

It takes Dirk a second to realize Dave’s directing that at John. Rose looks similarly bothered, both of them seething with sudden betrayal. John doesn’t seem surprised by that and he resolutely stares them down.

“You made me forget Kanaya?” Rose whispers. Her voice is so soft that Dirk barely hears it, soft and shot with a quiet kind of horror that has Roxy up to give her a comforting shoulder squeeze.

“And Karkat,” Dave growls. It’s a different sound than Dirk has ever heard from him before. Cold and calm just over a barely tamed rage. “And the _Mayor?_ ”

Dirk has no idea who these people are but he’s starting to get angry on Dave and Rose’s behalf while John stands there way too resolute for a thirteen year old kid- but he’s _not_ , is he? John’s at least sixteen and if Dirk caught unsaid details right, he’s lived through at least the endgame more than once.

“They’re alive,” John declares bitterly. “They’re just not _here_ and the last time, you kept _pining_ and- and- It was better not to let you remember!”

“You have no idea what Karkat means to me!” Dave snarls and John jerks back at the vehemence. “You don’t get to make decisions about what I’m allowed to feel or how I’m allowed to feel it, John. You-”

“I could retcon this _again_ ,” John throws back at him and that’s what breaks Dave’s control.

Dave punches John hard enough to knock him over before Dirk grabs him up and drags him back, and then John’s on them until his dad grabs _him._ They keep yelling at each other but it’s nothing that makes any real sense and Dirk’s pretty sure none of this is really all that constructive either. He gets a better hold on Dave’s torso and hauls him up over his shoulder as Dave struggles, trying to grab at John in passing. Dirk ignores it and instead carries him outside. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whelp. The awkward reunion got a little sidestepped.


	22. Chapter 22

When the door closes after them, most of the fight just seeps right out of Dave and he hangs like a limpet on Dirk’s shoulder, his hands fisting up in the back of Dirk’s shirt. Dirk carries him out into the middle of the yard and then kind of just stands there, wondering what the hell he’s supposed to do now.

Dave has every reason to be angry and maybe Dirk doesn’t know who this Karkat person is or the Mayor or Kanaya, but he can tell they’re important to Dave and Rose and John was way out of line taking their memories away. He feels Dave’s fingers flex against his back and then loosen. Carefully, Dirk sets him back down on his feet. The kid doesn’t look at him, staring at the grass between them instead. There is pink raised up above his cheekbones, just barely peeking from the edges of his shades, that Dirk knows from experience with his own fair skin means upset that is not becoming of a Strider.

Not that Dirk really gives all that many shits about what is becoming or not since waking up with this _bastard’s_ body.

“I’m sorry,” Dirk says and Dave’s head dips lower. “That was a real jerk move of John’s.”

“Understatement much.” Dave twists, turning his back on Dirk. He rubs at his face a bit then stares off at nothing. “So it occurs to me that maybe I haven’t been fair to you the last two months.”

Dirk blinks. And then he frowns because _what_. “Dude. You didn’t know about the game stuff and your brother was an asshole. How the hell else should you have acted?”

“ _You’re_ not an asshole,” Dave points out, shrugging.

“That’s debatable.” A debate Dirk would win with the amount of anecdotal evidence he has at his disposal. “Seriously though, I’ve got no complains about the last two months. I get it. Mostly. But yeah, moral of the story is don’t beat yourself up over it.”

Dave makes a little non-committal sound. Dirk lets it sit between them a bit, wondering why Dave would want to talk about this, of all things, right now, of all times. And then he thinks he kind of gets it. Maybe this is easier to think about than John and his world retcons. Dirk kind of wonders what kinds of endings made John reject them four times before now, how pear shaped things must have gone. Maybe he got decapitated again. He can’t think why John would care about that but maybe in a different ending, they got to know each other.

“Hey,” Dirk says and Dave turns just a little, enough to acknowledge that he heard. “You know we’re going to figure this out, right?”

Dave’s jaw clenches once or twice and then he blurts out, “You know I’m not _actually_ thirteen anymore, right?”

“What, you think I’m lying to you to be nice or something?” Dirk snorts, crossing his arms as he shakes his head. “Two of my best friends are several decades too old to survive even my new lifetime and my other best friend is having a quiet existential crisis over suddenly being a mom. I’m going to find a way to fix that. I _refuse_ to fail. So yeah, _we’re figuring this out._ ”

That gets Dave’s full attention. He stares at Dirk hard, showing so much less than he did before the memories were restored. Dirk doesn’t look away but only because he’s too stubborn, not because it becomes any easier to face that kind of intensity.

“Cool,” Dave mutters finally, breaking the stare down. “I’m going to hit John again, just so you know.”

“I kind of want to hit him myself,” Dirk admits. They share an amused look and… This feels better. Dirk knows they’re not like super friends but he can already see the difference just in how Dave stands now than before. He’s not afraid of him. Uncomfortable, sure, but not afraid. It’s… Dirk didn’t realize just how much that bothered him until it’s suddenly not happening. Maybe it’s just three years of memories Dave didn’t have before that make him more steady even when looking into his bastard brother’s face. Dirk is pretty sure it’s nothing he’s done.

“So. We’re doing the hero thing.” Dave rolls his shoulders, standing straighter. “I’m out of practice but this shit’s in my blood, man. We are going to hero the _shit_ out of this stupid John fuckery.”

He lifts his hand, fisted and ready for a bump. Dirk’s stomach does a stupid flop as he reaches to meet it.

“Why are we so fucking awesome?” Dirk asks and it must mean something because a ripple goes through Dave’s body before his mouth splits into a smirk.

“That’s the best fucking question anybody ever asked.”

They’re having a moment. Dirk doesn’t know what kind, but he likes it. He hopes it’s not the last.

The front door opens a second after he thinks that and there’s Roxy. She gives them an uneasy smile. “Jade’s awake.”

Dave’s at the door in a second and Roxy barely moves out of the way fast enough not to get knocked into. Dirk reminds himself that Dave is not escaping _him_ and that he would act the same way if it was Roxy or Jane or Jake. He heads back up to the house where Roxy’s waiting.

“How’s Rose?” he asks and Roxy’s smile fades a little.

“Hurt, mostly. Sad. Angry.” She shrugs a little. “Apparently, Kanaya’s her girlfriend.”

Oh. Damn, that’s harsh. “Do we have any idea about whether she and the ones Dave mentioned are even alive?”

“I don’t know. John’s dad took him off so they could talk and Jane went with them. Everyone else is with Jade.” Roxy sighs a little and leans towards him. Dirk steps closer just in time for her head to rest against his chest. He reaches up to hang his hand against the back of her neck.

“Are you thinking of Calliope?” he asks her softly to keep it between them. Not that anyone’s in the livingroom to possibly overhear it through the open door.

“Yeah.” Roxy’s voice gets tighter and then she sniffs. “I was trying not to and I just… If she was around, she’d figure out a way to contact us, you know? So that means…”

“It doesn’t mean anything,” Dirk assures her, brushing his thumb against her skin. “Who knows _what_ John’s done or who’s alive. We can’t jump to any conclusions until he’s stopped being such a prick about everything.”

She snorts and it still sounds soggy and gross but it seems she’s feeling a little better. “Let’s go see Jade. I’m hoping she’s not a crazy dog slave anymore.”

Yes, that would be good. He’d been kind of enjoying chatting with little Jade about her robots and such. It’d be a shame if she somehow was dogged up again. Dirk drops his hand from Roxy’s neck and she pulls from him, wiping at her eyes. They head on up to what is presumably John’s room. Dave, Rose, and Jake look up as they step through the door. Jade looks groggy and tired, like she’s recovering from a bad cold.

“Hey, how’re you feeling?” Roxy asks as she saddles over to stand near Rose. Dirk takes a moment to look her over and… Yeah. Rose does not seem to be doing well but she’s holding it in better than Dave did.

“Oh, I’m fine,” Jade assures them. Her voice is flat, cool, and matches the look in her eyes. “I’ll be better once I’ve had a talk with that _stupid dumbbutt who I call a brother_.”

Uh. Dirk thinks maybe he’s missing something here.

“I’m sure he had his reasons,” Jake tries, hands lifted in a pacifying gesture and Jade just glares at him for all she’s worth. Which he’s sure would have more impact if she were not a tiny thirteen year old kid with glasses almost bigger than her head and eyes the size of adult seagulls.

“John and his reasons can _bite_ me.Now I have to go through _puberty_ again!?”

“We are totally going to fix that, babe,” Dave tries and then gives right up when Jade turns her glare on him instead.

And… _What_. Dirk is definitely missing something. He looks at Roxy who stares right back at him, realizing the same missing thing. How the _hell_ is John Jade’s brother- That would mean _Jane_ and _Jake-_

Roxy makes a face. Dirk kind of wants to. He holds it back, just barely, because Rose is watching the two of them curiously as they silently freak the fuck out. He guesses he can see the similarity - who is he kidding, _no one would miss it_. And he can see Jane in the way Jade’s nose is formed and the stubborn tilt of her head and- Uuuggghhh now he’s thinking about Jane and Jake _like that_.

Wow. This is the shittiest day. Except… Well. Jake and Jade’s alive to be in this shitty day so maybe not _the_ shittiest.

Still. Buuuuhhh.

Dirk excuses himself from the bedroom because he has seen Jade and alive and well and is now officially way oversocialized for the day. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the only way I can tell Dirk would have known about the true extent of the ectobiological fuckery that is the EgCrockHarEng quadruplets is if Calliope told him and I don't see that being an important thing for her to have passed on in detail, so executive decision was she did not, if only for the lols.
> 
> Also have some more emotional whiplash. It seems to be my thing right now.


	23. Chapter 23

“But it didn’t _work_ that way!”

Dirk hears it as he heads down the stairs. He pauses, glancing off in the direction of another room. The door is partially open and seems like some kind of office. He catches the edge of Jeff’s hat and a few gray-blue curls of Jane’s.

“Did you ask anyone to help you figure out a better solution?” Jeff asks and his voice is soft, non-judgemental. It’s everything Dirk figures a good dad should sound like.

“The first time,” John admits. “Terezi helped me. She had me go change specific events and then everything was different.”

“Was it better than the first timeline?”

“Yeah. I mean, more people lived. And we beat the game.”

More people. So not everyone. Dirk settles himself against the wall next to the office door, folding his arms as he listens. He kind of figured it was something like this that made John do the whole retcon thing, but… He’s kind of uneasy now that it’s been confirmed.

“If it was better, why did you do another retcon?” Jane sounds like she’s trying to understand but also like she’s holding back.

“‘Cause the trolls weren’t okay.” John sighs a little. “See, the trolls are kind of _really_ into their species propagation. And they had the matriorb, but… The new world we got, something wasn’t right about it? For them, I mean. And the orb _died_.”

The was a time Dirk would have been happy about that but right now, he’s hearing a kind of exasperated horror in John’s voice and tries to consider what that must have been like. Seeing friends devastated, losing hope… Dirk’s done more for less reason before.

“So you used the… retcon ability?” Jeff prompts.

“Yeah. We had to change the end world. Make it so that the orb would live. And Kanaya told me some stuff about it so we’d get it right this time, but…” John trails off and when Dirk peeks through the opening, he can see the look on his face. Something remembered, harsh and painful, but far away. Like an old wound. “That time, the fish queen won.”

Dirk closes his eyes. He’s pretty sure more of them must have died that time. Painfully. Maybe even mind controlled if what happened to Jane and Jade is any indication. Would she have bothered to keep any humans live? After all the trouble they’d caused? He doesn’t know but he also doubts it. He knows what a world under the rule of the Condescension is like and humans had no place on it.

“We didn’t even get a world,” John continues, sounding a little far away, and Dirk watches him stare at nothing and remember. “Echidna wouldn’t release the tadpole since Karkat died.”

Jane’s lips purse at this and she shifts in her seat, considering it. “So you tried a third time.”

“Yeah. I stopped trying to get a mixed world. This time we got two planets set up, one for humans and one for trolls. It took a lot of hoop jumping and a bunch of time stuff and we kept having to break game rules to do it. The sprites were going half crazy trying to help us when their code kept trying to keep them cryptic and stuff.”

“Did it work?” Jeff asks thoughtfully and John nods.

“Yeah, Echidna let us do it and we put Kanaya and Karkat on the job and the rest of us went and hit all the end bosses. It was kind of epic.” John says that but he doesn’t look all that happy. Actually, he looks kind of tired. It makes Dirk wonder how much subjective time this took him. “So yeah, it worked. Everyone had good planets and I get the feeling the matriorb hatched okay because the trolls didn’t show up to tell me differently.”

“Was I old in this timeline?” Jane’s holding it together, better than Dirk would have guessed. She’s steady and focused- and then her dad reaches over to touch her hand and her expression gets more brittle.

“No,” John says, shrugging a shoulder. “No, that was new this time.”

“Lucky me,” Jane sighs.

“I really didn’t mean for that.” John peeks at her through his bangs, shifting uneasily in his seat. “I mean, I noticed you weren’t here when we woke up this time, and my Nanna was for some reason, but I didn’t know. Okay?”

Jane smiles, tight and unpleasant, but she gives him a nod. John bites his lip a bit and then looks away as he continues.

“It was good for a while. I mean, last time was. There was just us but we were all alive, so I thought it was okay?” He looks up at the ceiling, taking a slow, deep breath. “Except the trolls were really far away. I mean, their planet showed up so far away that it took like a month for messages to get to us.”

“But the space players could have-” Jane starts and John’s face goes totally dark.

“They _tried_.” He curls his fingers up tight, glaring at a spot near his feet. “Jade tried.”

There’s a few moments where Jeff and Jane share a look and then Jeff murmurs quietly, “What happened?”

“The game wasn’t there anymore. So, it was different than using our powers was before.” John stuffs his fisted hands into his pockets, his shoulders hunched up tight. “And we hadn’t really tried to do anything before that. Not really. Nothing big. But then Jade just... “

He lets out a harsh breath, like he’s clearing out his lungs all at once. And this pain is still close, still recent. Dirk wonders how quickly after John did his fourth retcon.

“She hurt something. Inside. And she wasn’t the same after that. She just… She was awake? But not really.” John’s not looking at anyone and he’s not angry so much as… Dirk isn’t sure how to describe the look on his face. Hurt and bitter and lost, maybe. “And the others weren’t okay either. They kept missing people who weren’t there. We didn’t even have the carapacians. And then… Rose…”

John stops. He blinks once or twice, opens his mouth only to close it. He looks at his dad like he’s waiting for something. Like he wants someone else to tell the rest of the story. Jane reaches over and rests her hand on his shoulder. It makes a shiver run down John’s back but he doesn’t try to duck out from under it.

“So you did another retcon,” Jeff prompts gently with every inch of him filled with understanding sympathy.

“Yeah,” John says with only a tiny tremble in his voice. “I just- I just sent us back all the way this time. So we didn’t play the game at all. I just wanted to not have played the game for a little while.”

Dirk rubs his forehead and then shoulders the door open and reveals himself to them. John jumps but neither Jane nor Jeff look all that surprised that he was eavesdropping.

“You had no intention of having this be the final try,” Dirk says and John has the decency to look a little embarrassed.

“No. I was going to try again. I just wanted a little time, you know?”

Unfortunately, Dirk knows exactly what that feels like. “Did you reset things for the trolls, too? Is the Condescension still lording over them?”

“That’s…” John shrugs his shoulders. “I messed with that a little. It should actually be Meenah now. Like, our Meenah. So they should be okay right now. I talked to her a little before everything was set. She didn’t really want to be the fish queen but she agreed to do it.”

Dirk doesn’t like non-absolutes but he’s willing to table this right now. At least until they figure something out. He’s got no concrete knowledge of how John even managed all this considering all the factors he must have shifted and nudged to get even that much done, and that bothers him but Dirk tries to think past that, too.

“So. Us getting sucked into our older counterparts was just some weird side effect,” Dirk concludes with a little nod. “Okay. So why do I remember game events?”

“I don’t know!” John shouts with sudden frustration. “You _shouldn’t!_ None of you should remember anything because we didn’t actually _experience it_ this time, but you _do_ and then I had to make my friends _not_ remember so that nothing bad would happen _again!_ ”

Dirk chooses not to mention that some bad things did, in fact, happen this time. Jane, on the other hand, chooses differently.

“Maybe the same things didn’t,” she says with remarkable calm, “but other ones did.”

John loses his steam, sagging in place. He gives her a guilty look and then goes back to staring at his feet.

“Well.” Jeff gets up from his seat and steps around his desk. “I suppose we'll just have to work on _fixing_ those. Won’t we?”

He tugs John into a hug and the kid melts against him. Jeff smiles all soft and fond.

“Between the lot of us, we have a lot of very special people with very special abilities. Surely there are solutions among us if we work together.”

John makes a sound of agreement but doesn’t let go. Shaking her head, Jane gets up to join them and ends up squeezing John between her and her dad. And _wow_ is this kind of awkward to watch. Dirk chews the inside of his mouth a bit and then absconds so that the three of them can continue having their family moment. He glances up the stairs and can hear words here and there from John’s bedroom, but he’s not really going back in there either. So, he goes back out the front door so he can get some fresh air.

Jake startles as the door opens, twisting around to stare at him from the yard, apparently having escaped from upstairs, too. Dirk pauses there in the doorway. He… hadn’t really expected to come across Jake alone anytime soon (and honestly was so not ready for this) but it looks like fate has a different idea.

“Hey,” he says.

Jake smiles uncomfortably. “Hello, again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So my grandpa was in a stage production yesterday so I took the day off writing (it was a very neat opera!) but here's a JAM PACKED FEELS TRAIN JUST FOR YOU GUYS. 
> 
> Also John is actually super hard for me to write. Like I think he's harder for me to write than just about anyone and I'm not even sure why. 
> 
> Also also I changed the tags a bit since this story turned out to not be pre-retcon timeline totally like I originally thought (the full meta plot kind of kicked me in the face around chapter three tbh) so now they should be a bit more accurate.


	24. Chapter 24

They stare at each other awkwardly for a while before Jake gets a little smile and manages to break his gaze off. That does little to make Dirk want to move at all. He still feels stuck tight. He watches the way Jake’s weight shifts from side to side, little muscle groups flexing and holding him steady. It’s familiar even if the body isn’t.

“Good job,” Dirk finds himself saying and that brings Jake’s eyes back on him. “Believing in Jade.”

Jake’s smile gets more uncomfortable. “Oh, uh. Yeah, I don’t know if it helped but I did the best darn believing I could.”

Thing is, Dirk doesn’t know if it helped or not. He just knows the result and that could have just been Jade’s effort considering what a powerful player she’d been. Dirk continues watching as Jake fidgets in place, like his pants are uncomfortable and he just can’t get them to settle right.

“It probably helped,” Dirk says and Jake’s got another indulgent smile, like he doesn’t know what else to do. Abruptly, Dirk really, really misses the days where they could joke around. He almost wishes they hadn’t actually met in person to let him mess up everything.

“So this is a fine mess, isn’t it?” Jake mutters as he kicks at the grass under his foot a little. “All of us together like this and body swapped with other people and this weird world full of people.”

“Guess so. We’re working on that.” Dirk stuffs his hands in his pockets as he watches Jake bend down to tug at something in the grass. He kind of hates himself a little because damn is that ass still the finest thing Dirk’s ever seen, even if he’s like seventy years old. He sighs a little. “Dave’s got the time powers, Jane’s got some access to her lifey shit, and we’ve got a bunch of other stuff at our disposal, so. We can probably at least fix the body issue.”

“That’d be nice.” Jake straightens and rolls something between his fingers. It looks like a smoking pipe. “You don’t appreciate your youth until you don’t have it! If I had a nickle for every time my bones gave a frightful crack, why, I’d be a king by now!”

“All hail King English, may his reign be long and fruitful.”

Jake lets out a surprised laugh at that and then looks almost regretful of it. He scratches back through his messy gray hair and looks out over the neighborhood like there’s something more to it that Dirk just can’t see. “We kind of bungled things, didn’t we, Dirk?”

“...Mostly me, honestly,” Dirk says and it comes out nice and even, despite the way he’s sudden reeling. He did not expect to have a feelings talk right now, or ever really. Jake hasn’t talked to him in months, barely did during the game after things went so south between them.

“Nah. I don’t reckon so.” Jake gives him an almost shy look and it’s so fucking weird on an old man’s face. “I did kind of stop taking your messages.”

“I did kind of start obsessively pushing you and micromanaging everything,” Dirk counters and that gets Jake snickering a bit.

“You know, that bit of hooey seems weirdly not important anymore.” He grins up at the sky, scratching the back of his neck. And that makes Dirk pause a bit.

“Jane’s said stuff like that,” he says cautiously. “And me and Roxy, we’re more chill now, too.”

“Maybe the movies got it right! And we _do_ get better with age!” Jake laughs but it’s not… It’s not the light sound Dirk remembers from when they first all got to the game and no one was dead and everyone was getting started on their quests. It’s not just that Jake’s older, either. Jake’s laugh is strained and low and kind of forced.

“Hey,” Dirk starts but before he can figure out what he was even going to say, Jake’s waving a hand his way and Dirk catches the edge of a watery shine in his eyes.

“What the fuck were we thinking, playing that blasted game! Jolly good it did us!” Jake explodes, giving the ground a good kick. “I was just fine on my island, you know! Rip roaring days and the clearest twinkly nights! With jungles to explore and ruins to raid.”

Dirk just kind of watches because he’s pretty sure he doesn’t need to contribute. Jake’s kind of taken the opportunity to vent, which Dirk hadn’t realized he might need to do.

“I thought it’d be an _adventure!_ ” Jake continues grumbling. “Like the movies! And my grandma’s stories. And I could certainly look after myself, I thought. I could certainly hold my own! Come out guns blazing!”

“Sure,” Dirk agrees because it wasn’t that Jake had been lacking in the survivalist knowledge caregory, just… Well.

Jake gives the ground another kick and then huffs a breath. He reaches up to rub at one eye under his glasses, turning his back on Dirk. Quiet seconds tick by and then Jake mutters quietly, “I just wanted to go see some new places and maybe save the damn day, consarn it all.”

Dirk gets it, better than he really wants to. He’d been ridiculously disappointed with his own performance in the game, how little he had really mattered in the end. Sure, he kind of remembers taking down some kind of crazy carapacian mutants but that’s not even one of the big bads. He has no idea how anything else went down, now that he’s actually trying to remember clearly instead of the vague notions he’s been sitting with. Which… is actually kind of strange, isn’t it? He figures it probably has something to do with the retcon.

“Well,” Dirk says finally. “We’re out now.”

Jake snorts, shaking his head. “And off to real adventures. Like causing water storms.”

“Causing?” Dirk asks with a blink as he feels a sudden gush of dread coil up in his chest.

“Oh, well, I _think_ we did,” Jake says, glancing towards him. “Jade was trying to get her space powers kick started and having a rotten time of it. I was keeping watch, you know. Trying to see if the waters were doing anything bedeviling, and then all of the sudden the powers just _clicked_ and then half the island fell to pieces around us!”

Dirk has the sinking sensation that that must have been the exact moment that he futzed with Jade’s soul.

“I was frightfully sure we were goners for sure, boy howdy! The water went wild all around us and then there was the storm that started,” Jake continues and Dirk mentally ticks in John’s interference in his forming mental timeline. “Well, Jade pieced the island all back together like a quilt and said something about having to apologize to someone about the earthquake underfoot. Then she popped us across the ocean.”

Things fit together pretty nicely now. Dirk covers his eyes in one hand and tells himself that there was no way around this, Dave had said the loop had to be steady and completed, and if he hadn’t interfered, something else would have. This is totally all his goddamn fault though.

“Well,” Jake says, sounding a little more like himself, a little more settled. “It’s behind us now. We might still be all discombobulated now, but it’ll figure itself out.”

Dirk shrugs a little. “Yeah.”

“You talk less now.” Jake gives him a weirdly gentle look and it only works because he’s so goddamn old but it makes Dirk feel like he’s maybe five years old. He’s never had a guardian to make him feel so small before and now he’s kind of glad he skipped out on that. “Maybe you should work on that, mate.”

“Maybe.”

Jake looks away and it breaks the weird hold on Dirk’s body. He immediately starts trying to think of a reason to go back inside since he can’t just leave without Dave, but inside is the awkwardness up in John’s room and another flavor of it in Jeff’s office. There’s really no reason for Dirk to be involved in any of that, at least not until it’s time to figure out the body thing.

“Hey,” he says and this is so stupid but, “are we cool?”

Jake blinks with surprise. His mouth opens but he doesn’t manage to say anything for a few seconds. Then, “Are you a prattling fool, Strider? You’re darn tootin’ we’re square!”

It’s not a fix, not by a long shot, but it makes Dirk feel better anyway. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It might not be awkward enough for you guys but this was awkward enough for me to write, so... Also wow is Jake hard to get my head around :/// Why can't I just write Jade all day every day? She's such a peach.


	25. Chapter 25

Dirk and Jake end up sitting on the lawn for a while, watching the clear sky and a few groups of kids playing outside along the street. At some point, there’s a sharp uptick in cars, slotting into the driveways of house after house. Dirk figures it must be the mass exodus time he’d observed back in Houston, but it’s a lot less busy here in a neighborhood than a busy main street. He kind of likes it but at the same time it is weird as fuck.

Jake points out some little blue vehicle called a slugbug and tells him with pride that he learned to spot them from the taxi driver that got them to Jane’s place. Dirk takes it to mean that this is a pretty prevalent game, at least in this part of the country. He’s sure he’s seen the slugbugs in Houston but he hadn’t really paid much attention to the traffic down below the window. He had other things to concentrate on, like Dave.

Glancing back towards the house, Dirk zeros in one John’s bedroom window and wonders how Dave is doing. Dirk’s pretty sure it’s better for him to take a backseat now that Dave’s back with his friends and also an _actual_ adult. It’s not like Dave really knows him. They hadn’t even talked until two months ago, barring one severely glitched transmission over pesterchum that Dirk hadn’t actually been able to read.

He wonders what Dave thinks of him now with three years more life experience in his head and likely a better understanding of how shitty Dirk had been doing. Hopefully he’s still a head above his alt self.

Jane pokes her head out the front door and gives them a fond, if exasperated look. “Are you two just going to brood out there all evening?”

“I believe the word you are looking for is ruminating!” Jake shoots back, grinning. And there, the discomfort is back and Dirk wonders about that. He’d been kind of distracted a lot of the time so he hadn’t kept up with his friends as well as he should have, and then Jane had gotten mind controlled and Jade teleported him to the outer rim. He could ask. He could also keep his damn mouth shut and possibly not poke at painful wounds.

“There’s food in the kitchen,” Jane says, her lips quirking into a little smirk at the way Jake brightens. He gets up and trots on into the house, taking absolute care not to accidentally brush Jane on the way. Her eyes crinkle, tightening up with something Dirk doesn’t understand, and then she looks at him still sitting in the grass. “You, too, Mr. Strider.”

Dirk’s not really hungry but this is probably some kind of social thing he doesn’t really understand. He gets up and takes some time to brush bits of grass and dirt off his slacks. It occurs to him that he could probably buy new clothes, things that are more comfortable and more _him_ (and not like Dave’s brother), but it seems silly to when these aren’t frayed or unusable. Maybe there’s something he could do with the old clothes. Someone he could hand them off to. He bets Jane would know.

“If you let the casserole get cold, we will have words,” Jane prompts without any steel and Dirk snorts but heads on to the door. When he gets there, he offers his arm and she giggles a little as she loops her hand over it, letting him lead her to the kitchen. There’s an actual dining room but they serve themselves in the kitchen before heading to it. And having everyone together in one place is pretty crowded. Dirk notices that half the chairs don’t match and must have been dragged in from other parts of the house to give everyone a seat.

Dirk spends the meal watching people more than eating. John is sulking, picking at his food while the other kids don’t engage him. It’s understandable but also awkward as hell to watch. John ends up bracketed by his dad and Jane, Jake and Roxy next. Roxy half dragged Dirk into the empty seat next to her but he doesn’t really mind it. He listens to her chatter at Rose or Jane mostly, watches the way Rose, Jade, and Dave lean unconsciously lean towards one another in their seats. It doesn’t surprise him that they ended up all next to each other.

The conversations stay pretty light for the most part. There’s a wounded feeling to them all, even John. Dirk watches the way John keeps peeking towards the other end of the table where his friends are. He’s got a look Dirk knows because Dirk’s felt that same discomfort over having to fess up to machinations that went too far before. He wonders what kind of excuses are running through John’s head, what justifications he’s clinging to. Probably the same kind Dirk’s had.

Dinner’s winding down when Jane sets her fork on her plate and sits up nice and tall, as well as she can with her hunched spine. “So! I think we need to plan our next step.”

“Since we’re allowed to now,” Dave mutters and Jade gives him a little push and a shush as John hunches on himself.

“Yes,” Jeff says, straightening as well. “I think it would be a good idea to brainstorm how we might fix the problem of everyone’s age. If I haven’t missed my guess, it seems everyone is a little off.”

A little. Hello, understatement.

“I, for one, do _not_ want to have to go through the next three years again.” Rose folds her hands neatly on the table and regards them. “It was difficult enough the first time.”

“Not that I mind the snazzy digs, but I kinda want to live out the bits I missed,” Roxy agrees and Dirk leans a little to press his shoulder to hers. She smiles at him and some of the brittleness fades.

“I think I can understand that much.” Jake shakes his head a bit, faintly bitter. “Kind of like my dratted knees not to hurt.”

“Appreciating all the bitching and all,” Dave drawls as he folds his arms, “but how about we get to the _solution_ round.”

“You do have time powers,” Jade points out thoughtfully.

“Yeah, but I only ever traveled time. I didn’t ever age anything.”

“I didn’t really control the weather before, either,” John says, quiet and hesitant. He glances up to meet Dave’s eyes and then looks off again. “So…”

Dave’s mouth tightens and Dirk can almost hear how much Dave does not want to come to the same conclusion John has. “I didn’t see people’s timelines before, either.”

“I think our powers are broadening,” Jane murmurs, considering it. “We may be able to use them in different ways now. It would be good to try. I _did_ get the pansies along the house back from near death.”

Jeff gives a little contemplative hum. “It would be a good idea to test the applications of everyone’s gifts. We can see what might be useful in restoring all of your through some experimentation… Not on _yourselves_ , of course.”

Dirk starts a little at the pointed look Jeff shoots him, like the guy could someone read into exactly what Dirk was thinking. Thing is, Dirk thinks he is probably the perfect candidate for their first age fussing attempt. His abilities don’t seem all that important to the process. If the worst happened, they might be a little sad but they could still try again. Dirk would much rather sacrifice himself than see any of the others suffer.

But maybe he’ll wait to say anything for now.

“Right, so…” Jade tilts her head and then gives them all a big, toothy grin, despite the varying levels of worry and anxiety on their faces. “Marching orders received!”

“Operation: stop being babies and old farts commences,” Dave adds.

“In the morning, perhaps,” Rose amends and yes, it’s probably best to give them all a good night’s sleep. Besides, Jade is still a little wobbly and Dirk definitely does not want her pushing herself right now. It’s way too dangerous.

They clean up dinner pretty quickly. The kids, even John, head up the stairs while Jeff and Jake raid every closet in the place to find enough bedding materials. It’s not nearly late enough for Dirk to sleep but he helps them construct the floor palette and thinks back to slumber parties he’d seen in movies. There’s a little thrill in his belly from getting to do this, even if all the details are wrong.

Eventually, Jeff heads off to his room and Jane to hers, Roxy trailing after to bunk up with her. Dirk would kind of rather her over bunking with Jake, but they’re all… totally not mature adults the fuck is he thinking. The last time Dirk slept around Jake was when they were still dating. He watches Jake start levering himself down onto the floor with a wince and grabs his shoulder.

“There’s a couch, man,” he reminds him. “You take it. My spine’s younger than yours.”

Jake gives him a thankful look and lays out on the couch instead. Dirk slumps on the floor blankets instead, just about the time John skitters down the stairs. He looks at them and chews at the side of his mouth a bit before joining Dirk on the floor.

“Kicked out?” Dirk asks because he’s an asshole. John shoots him a dirty look and then turns his back on him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now we can get into repair mode.


	26. Chapter 26

Jeff and Jane stuff them full of ridiculous amounts of food in the morning and then they start figuring up a real plan on the aging and deaging fronts. They start splitting off into twos and threes to experiment with different uses of their powers, now that everyone fully remembers them. To Dirk, it seems obvious what combo they need, but he keeps that to himself as he trails after Dave with his hands in his pockets.

Dirk can’t really think of a way his heart powers are useful but he figures if anything, maybe he can get Dave to test the deaging on him first. Less collateral damage in possibly losing someone useful. Of course, Dirk isn’t actively suicidal so he figures it would be after a good amount of testing on non-person things. That sounds like a plan.

Dave leads him outside into John’s back yard. There are some ridiculously well trimmed hedges between his yard and the next, a tall fence along the very back. Dirk has the stupid mental image of Jeff putting that in himself. Shirtless. In the hot sun with glistening muscles- Damn it. He has been doing _really_ good at not perving on Jane’s dad.

When Dave pauses in the middle of the yard, he looks back over his shoulder at Dirk and his expression is completely unreadable. Dirk feels caught in place by it and then almost embarrassed that he’d been following him when Dave had given no indication he wanted him to. He wonders if he’s doing a creepy thing Dave’s brother did and almost goes right back inside, but he can’t quite make himself move. Dave studies Dirk for a few seconds before looking forward again. He looks down at his hands, lifting them to flex his fingers.

“I can’t summon the timetables or my game swords,” Dave admits quietly. “It’s throwing everything off.”

“Is that why taking us back kicked your ass?”

Dave shrugs one shoulder. “Nah. Little me just doesn’t have the right muscle memory.”

Dirk is pretty sure it’s more than that but he keeps that to himself. Rubbing his fingers against the pocket walls, he cautiously steps around Dave. The kid zeros in like before, watching his every movement, but it’s not nearly as obvious now. Whatever Dave remembers of his three years in the game, it’s given him more self control. Dirk isn’t quite sure he likes that.

“So go slow,” he suggests. “Try aging some grass or something. That’s a pretty simple to manipulate, right? Short lifespan anyway?”

Dave tilts his head a bit and then crouches down to look at Jeff’s perfectly maintained yard. He reaches out and lets his fingers brush over a couple blades like he’s trying to get a feel for them. Tapping into something Dirk can’t see the way Dirk taps into something Dave can’t see either. Actually, it feels kind of weird standing there doing nothing so Dirk sinks down as well. Dave’s gaze juts up for a few seconds and then lands back down on the grass again.

“How come you’re not wearing a hat?” Dave asks and it comes out sounding casual but Dirk has no intention of believing that.

“Not my style,” he says and then chews a bit on the inside of his mouth, “and I already look enough like the bastard that raised you right now.”

Dave stiffens. He doesn’t look away from the grass but the muscles of his fingers tighten and flex under his skin.

“I don’t know what all he did to you,” Dirk continues because if he stops, he won’t be able to ever talk about this again, “but I’m trying not to continue it. I mean, I was trying my best with just you and me. I know my best is shit, but-”

“Nah.”

Dirk blinks and Dave turns his head, staring off at nothing. “What?”

“You were okay. At the guardian thing.” Dave shifts, settling down with crossed legs. “Kinda nice not to get randomly bombarded with puppet ass. Weird having food in the fridge, though.”

“It was weird having _swords_ in it,” Dirk counters. “ _Shitty_ swords. What the hell did he expect to do with those?”

“Idek. Be a weeby motherfucker maybe.” Dave pulls at a few blades of grass but doesn’t rip them free. “He was kind of always doing weird shit like that.”

Dirk watches him, trying to get a read on exactly where this is going. He’s been surprised anytime Dave opens up because it seems to happen at the most random times. He certainly doesn’t want to do anything wrong to make him shut down again.

“Hey,” Dirk says after a little while. “We need to get Jane and Jake back to normal and Roxy could use it too, but… If you’d rather I was-”

Dave looks at him. His mouth is pressed tightly closed and his brows bunch up. Then he blurts all at once, “I don’t want you to look like him anymore.”

“I-”

“I am _sick_ of looking at him.”

Dirk’s insides crunch and curdle. He understands it if only in the way someone who hasn’t lived it can, makes sense. It still kind of hurts to hear how much Dave hates any version of him.

He… kind of really wishes he hadn’t followed Dave out. It’s obvious he fucked up somewhere, misstepped, went too far. He doesn’t quite know where. Dave goes back to staring at the grass. Under his hand, it’s gone brown and deadened. He doesn’t seem all that pleased. Dirk kind of empathizes with the fucking grass, why is this his life?

“Okay,” he says and hates the way Dave flinches, all inside and hidden so that Dirk senses it more than sees it. “So when you figure it out the other way, drop me first. Might as well fix that problem first.”

He doesn’t wait to see how Dave will respond to that, getting up and escaping back to the house. He wants his apartment in Houston, but he wants the _right_ one. He wants to go fishing or bother some seagulls or pick a fight with some passing surveillance drones. He wants his robots. He wants to have never played the game like John wanted. Even if it was infinitely lonely then, he thinks it must have been better than feeling like this.

Rose is in the hall when Dirk gets there. She gives him a look, purple eyes watchful and sly, and then says, “Roxy is in John’s room.”

Dirk could wonder how she knew but he must just look that bad. He nods a thank you to her and then ignores the couple friends down in the livingroom to abscond upstairs. Roxy is there, but so is Jade. They’ve got a couple weird little green cubes floating between them that drop when their attention shifts to him.

“I- Sorry,” Dirk says and he intends to just back out and leave them to whatever they’re doing but Roxy’s up in a flash and tugging him in.

Jade looks alarmed but Roxy pats her shoulder and murmurs, “Give us a minute?”

“Yeah, just let me know when you’re done,” Jade says, looking over Dirk like he’s been stabbed or something. He glanced down just to make sure and nope, just an asshole. Jade files out reluctantly and tugs the door closed behind her, but Dirk doesn’t pay much attention to that as Roxy suddenly drags him down into her arms. It’s awkward to crouch over the bed like that so he just sits down and then Roxy flops them all the way. Dirk buries his head against her chest and she pets his hair as they settle into an awkward pile of limbs. It’s not exactly comfortable but he doesn’t really care.

“I keep saying the wrong thing to Dave,” he says because it’s okay to admit it when no one else can see him. Roxy would never snitch on him.

“He’s a little sensitive,” Roxy agrees. She’s all gentle tones and softness, wrapped up around him in ways that make it even more obvious how screwed up their bodies are. He is just too big to hide against her the way he really wants to. “But a little voice in my chillass head thinks this is less what you said and maaaaybe more what _he_ said, huh?”

Dirk doesn’t answer at first, too busy trying to smother himself against her sternum. He has spent two months fighting the ghost of a person he could have been, could become; trying his best to make up for mistakes he hasn’t even made (yet) and some of which he hasn’t even discovered yet. He’s been careful, tried to be as unobtrusive as possible, done everything the forums suggested at least once to see if it did in fact help- He should probably check them again, looking into anecdotes about older kids, see if there’s something he missed-

“Dirk,” Roxy murmurs quietly with a kiss to the top of his head. “I can hear the gears working from here.”

“I make him think of his brother just by existing,” Dirk lets out in one quick exhalation. “I don’t even know if it’ll be better once we’re all the right age.”

Roxy considers that, petting down his neck and back. “You know. I’m thinking of staying the way I am right now.”

Dirk stiffens and looks up, startled by it. “What?!”

“Well... Me and Rosie, we’re doing okay,” Roxy says, giving him a little smile. “It’s not perfect and I’ve got a hella lot to learn, but… She’s good at letting me know stuff and being patient with me and I’m learning to be better with her, too. And besides, if we’re all kids, who the hell’s gonna look after us? I mean, I read that kids don’t go off on their own until like eighteen or something. And that’s not too long, but there are _eight_ of us.”

He… hadn’t actually thought that far. He’s been so caught up in getting everyone sorted out and right, getting Dave on board his powers thing and… Hell. He has no idea what will happen if they do manage this.

“There’s Jeff,” he says and Roxy snorts.

“Boy is there _ever_ Jeff,” she giggles back and Dirk can’t help the smile that takes over his mouth, even if he’s still pretty fucked up right now. “You could bounce a quarter off that ass.”

“The guy can lift a fridge without game powers,” Dirk reminds her. “You could bounce a quarter off just about any bit of him.”

She giggle snorts and then mashes her cheek against his hair, rubbing at him like one of her cats. “It’s such a crime he’s totes off limits, huh?”

“A crying shame,” Dirk agrees. He curls his arms tighter around her. “If you stay an adult… Can I crash at your place?”

She scoffs at that but just holds him closer. “Dirk, you _dummy_. As if I’d have it any other way.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little slow down from the action.
> 
> Also, I currently have a cold and it is making braining difficult right now, so that's why there was a skip. Also there might be another before it's done. I'm full of Mucinex but still coughing up some gross stuff and feeling really lousy. Anywho if you notice any mistakes I missed, lemme know.


	27. Chapter 27

Dirk manages to avoid Dave for the rest of the day. The next one, he makes sure he’s the first at breakfast and eats fast so he’s out the door by the time Dave stumbles in. Dirk climbs up the house and spends most of the day on Jeff’s roof. It’s not nearly as comfortable as the apartment, being that it’s two sections of pitched roof with a small balcony on the second level, but Dirk doesn’t need to move around much. He sits at the front corner and concentrates on his powers. They may be useless to their current task but he might as well not waste too much time.

He looks at the houses around the street and seeks out the little flares of color within them. There are several people who stick around during the day. They are a bunch of moms who feel warm and stressed, kids of multiple ages that rise and fall with excited glee, some guy in his basement flaring bright and intense with some task Dirk can’t quite make out. There’s more but the farther out they get, the harder it is to catch the full gleam of them without giving more attention than the passive look he’s working on right now.

He centers on the guy across the street. He’s big hearted, all full of patience and love and duty. Dirk can feel how attentive he is, the way he’s keeping an ear out for the two little souls bonded to his own. Kids and somehow Dirk knows they aren’t his by blood but they _are_ his. The kids aren’t quite bonded to him yet- their souls are tiny and new and Dirk is pretty sure they’re not quite toddlers yet- but Dirk can see the beginning of the connection forming there. Curious and with no real knowledge of what they were doing.

Jeff’s neighbor on one side is an empty house until mass exodus time but the other one as an older woman in it with a soul that feels as creased and weathered as she probably looks. It’s not the lively glow he expects when he looks at them now; it’s older, healed over and scared again and again. Like someone had swiped claws over it trying to get it out of her chest. He doesn’t know what caused that but as he peers harder at her light, he suddenly thinks he knows exactly when that light will go out. It won’t be long. She’s not destined for much more and she knows it. She’s come to peace with that. He can taste the quiet acceptance like tepid water in his mouth.

Dirk watches people for most of the day. He goes down sometime after dinner’s already over, flash stepping to keep from attracting anyone’s attention, and finds a plate covered and waiting for him in the kitchen. He wonders how much trouble he’ll be in with Jane but he eats and then washes up after himself so no one else will have to. He thinks maybe he’s ready to go talk to the others again, but then he hears Dave’s voice from the living room and instead climbs back up to the roof again. He’s not running away, he tells himself. He’s just… taking some time.

He can almost hear the auto responder’s response to that and it doesn’t make him feel any better.

John’s getting the cold shoulder again when Dirk goes to sleep in the living room. He doesn’t say anything bitchy this time. The next day is a repeat of the one before. Dirk is actually kind of amazed at how well he’s managed to stay out of Dave’s way, but then again he spends a long time on the roof seeing just how far he can look into souls before his head starts to ache. It’s not nearly long enough and he is going to need to do _a lot_ of training to fix that weakness.

If he ever wants to keep from doing whatever the hell he apparently did to Jade in sparking her power spike tsunami catastrophe, it’s gotta figure out how far his powers go so he can keep them in check. Which means lots of practice. Which means he is so totally busy in completely acceptable ways. Perfect.

He almost runs right into Jane when he goes for dinner this time but a split second redirect sends him out of her way and he just tugs an apple from a bowl on the counter before escaping again. It’s enough that he thinks maybe he should start tracking his friends’ souls when he goes inside.

That night, he waits until everyone in the house is settled before he ghosts back inside. Jake’s on the couch again but it’s Rose that’s stretched out on half the floor blankets this time. He doesn’t mean to wake her but his eyes slide open as he lays down. Dirk goes still but she just quirks up a brow like she’s throwing out a challenge and, well, he can’t not lay down now. Dirk settles quickly even though her gaze itches against his skin like a physical thing.

“So, you are aware that the disappearing act is, in fact, _entirely_ too much like his brother?” Rose asks after a while in a tone that is amused and also shaded with steel.

Dirk blinks and is kind of glad he didn’t tug his shades off. “What?”

“Dave’s brother. He used to only show his face when it was time to strife. Most of the rest of the time, he used flashstepping to be a veritable ghost.”

Dirk stares at her and then twists onto his back so he can stare at the ceiling instead. “That was _completely_ not my intent.”

“I gathered,” she says with a certain dryness that makes him believe she really had. “That is why I am doing my sisterly duty in letting you know so that he will stop flinching when he catches a glimpse of you out of the corner of his eye.”

“He-” Dirk stops because she wouldn’t bring it up if he _hadn’t_. Dirk frowns and twines his fingers in the blankets. “Shit. I thought I was being careful- wait. Sisterly duty?”

“A lot of things happened on the meteor. It’s not entirely strange that I came to see him fondly is it?” she asks and that is not entirely what he asked but she keeps up with, “We may have been raised apart but Dave and I found quite a bit of comfort in our familial connection.”

Familial. _What_. “You and Dave are siblings.”

“Of course. You seem so surprised. I would have thought you’d known.”

He didn’t but now he is suddenly buffeted with the knowledge that if Dave and Rose are siblings, that meant he and Roxy were cousins- But Rose was Roxy’s daughter the same way Roxy was Rose’s. Oh fuck did he hate SBurb’s ridiculous ectobiology now-

“You really don’t know.” Roxy tips herself up on her elbow and laughs at him, light and quiet and faintly menacing. “Do you at least know that you and Roxy are our parents?”

Dirk’s brain activity abruptly halts. He- what? No. _No_. “That’s-”

“And Dave and I are, in turn, your parents. Quite the incestuous turn around, isn’t it?” Is she smirking? She is totally smirking. “At least with John and Jade, their parents had a couple third parties. We Strilondes seem to be opposed to doing anything in a conventional and acceptable way.”

Dirk covers his face with his hands and lets out a tiny wheezing noise that has her laughing again. He doesn’t know who to blame for this travesty. Roxy’s great, she really is. He absolutely does not want to think of having kids with her. It is kind of a nice thought to be her brother, though. Ugh, this is so damn weird.

“Please tell me this is exactly as weird for you.”

She snorts. “I’ve had time to take it in. Thankfully, neither of us had a crush on the other. That might have been awkward.”

That just makes Dirk choke again.

“Oh?” Rose purrs with absolute satisfaction. “Do I detect a sordid secret?”

“More like something mortifying I am never talking about.”

“Pity.” She lets him off easy and slides back to her earlier point. “He isn’t angry at you, if you were wondering.”

Dirk parts his fingers and peeks through them at her.

“If that was the reason you started avoiding him,” Rose adds primly. “He is… Hm. I suppose the best way to describe it is conflicted.”

“Forgive me if I don’t take your word for it,” Dirk manages after a couple seconds. Her brows lift as she regards him.

“I think you are mistaking his feelings for his brother to be the same as his feelings for you.” The way her eyes go heavy lidded and amused makes him pretty sure there’s no thinking about it. “Of course, he seems to be making the same mistake.”

“Well that’s just perfect. I guess we really are related.”

“You should join us for breakfast tomorrow.”

Dirk looks at the ceiling again. He’s not sure about that. The way Dave’s voice had tripped over the word _hate_ echoes in his ears even now. He is pretty sure the _best_ thing he could do is to just not go near Dave until he stops looking like his brother, and then the rest of his life just for good measure. It’s not like he’ll ever be anything _good_ for Dave. That much is pretty goddamn obvious.

“You might be surprised at the results.”

Dirk might have responded but there is a sleepy groan from the couch before Jake grumbles out, “Can’t this wait until _morning?_ ”

Dirk is mortified that he forgot someone was in the fucking room. He shuts up as Rose lets out a little titter and rolls over to sleep on her side. Dirk shoots the couch a glance but Jake didn’t even turn over to grumble at them. Sighing internally, Dirk gives the ceiling a glare and pretends he’s not seriously contemplating Rose’s words. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BWAHHAHA! TAKE THAT FEVER, I MADE SOME MOTHERFUCKING WORDS AND I AM PRETTY SURE THEY EVEN MAKE SENSE!


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It fought me but I PREVAILED! Also this is super long, fuck.

He’s late for breakfast. Not because he slept in but because it takes him hella long to actually decide to fucking go. Rose’s voice keeps playing in his head, urging him on and unnerving him in turns. He thinks if he’d gotten time to get to know her during the game that this might be easier, but maybe not. Frankly, she seems to think eerily similar to the way he does, picking everything apart and making her own conclusions. She’s better at it, though. Kinder. Maybe she gets that from Roxy- and oh god, now he’s thinking about that again.

Dirk pinches between his eyes and takes a deep, steadying breath. Yeah, no, he is not okay with that right now. He is _way_ not okay with that. There is completely too much baggage there.

Okay. He can do this. He is going to take this step in Not Being Dave’s Bro by being a better bro. The _best_ bro. Dave deserves that and Dirk may not have _wanted_ this role, but he will sure as hell run with it.

Dirk peeks through a doorway first and Dave notices him immediately. It’s the way Dave _doesn’t_ look up but his shoulders straighten back just enough to see it. Dirk thinks about ducking out but then Roxy sees him and excitedly waves him over to the seat left open next to her. Well, he can’t leave her hanging. Dirk slides into place only to get a sharp punch to the shoulder for his trouble.

“What-”

“That’s for worrying me,” Roxy replies and then calmly gets back to her food. Dirk frowns and then gets another punch from the other side that is only a tad softer.

“That’s for sneaking around my kitchen,” Jane says in a prim tone that gets ruined when she smirks and passes the eggs to him.

Dirk starts filling his plate and meets Jake’s eyes across the table. “You’re not going to punch me later, right?”

“No promises, chap,” Jake grins out over a mug filled with something dark and rich looking that is probably in all likelihood not coffee. Though the thought of Jake on coffee is hilarious and he should really try to get that to happen when Jake’s not in danger of sudden heart attacks.

Wow. That’s a thing he didn’t really need to remind himself of. Bummer.

Dirk starts picking at his food as the conversation around the table starts up again around him. He kind of rathers it this way, being included by proximity instead of actual participation. It lets him watch everyone, study the way they interact with one another, the bonds that have been forming or have already been formed.

He likes the way Jake will joke a little with Jade and she plays right off it in the most natural way without letting things get awkward and how she can cajole Dave into playing along and then Roxy’s giggling over them while Rose has the most indulgent smile except when she lands her own zinger. Jane keeps snickering with a secret grin that means she’s considering a prank and then she catches John’s eye and lifts her brows. He blinks at her at first before a smile slowly spreads over his face and wow, when did John get out of the doghouse? Last night before Rose and her embarrassing heart to heart, maybe? Probably. Even Jane’s dad seems relaxed and enjoying things.

Maybe his absence helped them get closer and do a little forgiving. Maybe they just would have anyway. He’s kind of glad he missed it though.

Dirk stays back after breakfast is over to help with cleanup. He can do that much. Jane lets him, anyway, so that’s points in his favor.

“Remember that talk we had about you running your stupid ideas by me first?” Jane says absently, slotting plates into the dishwasher.

Uh. Yeah. “Sorry.”

“You can only have _one_ slice of pie with dinner.”

“You’re so magnanimous, it’s you.”

Jane smirks and reaches over to tug at his shirt collar to bring him down lower. He has to grab the edge of the counter to balance as he leans down far enough for his forehead to press to hers, but it’s worth it.

“I’m completely serious, Dirk. You need to talk to me before you make dumb decisions like ignoring us for days. I know this is hard for you and you’re used to just going it alone, but that won’t work anymore.”

He looks at the floor because she’s right. He knows she’s right. He’s part of a group now and he needs to be a supportive part of that group. Maybe he doesn’t quite know how to be without a catastrophe behind it, but… He should try anyway.

Jane pats his cheeks with her small, wrinkled hands and then shifts to kiss his forehead before letting him go.

“Now maybe go find me some balloons, a magic marker, and hairspray. I’ve got an idea.”

Dirk has no idea what she plans on doing with any of that but he dutifully searches through the house to fetch them. When he gets back, she and John have their heads together and are talking low enough even Dirk can’t figure out what’s up. He drops his parcel down and then wanders off. He’ll find out eventually and he’d rather let Jane have fun with it the surprise than bully his way in.

Dirk drifts around the house, pinning down where everyone is. He peers at them, letting himself track them by their souls instead of their physical bodies. It’s interesting. Now that he’s paying attention, there’s a real difference in their souls verses the ones belonging to people outside their fucked up peer group. They’re brighter, stronger maybe. It’s hard to quantify the differences but they’re definitely there.

He kind of forgets that he’s even moving until he realizes the flaring mostly red soul he’s been studying is a lot closer than he realized. He blinks and the soul colors fade and there’s Dave standing not five feet away. There’s a weird kind of determination in his little body, making him stand taller, stronger.

“There’s a balcony upstairs,” Dave says and then he heads up and Dirk starts following without a thought. This can’t be anything _but_ an invitation. He’s just not sure what _to_. Dave says nothing on the way out and then they’re overlooking the yard where their friends and family are spread out in little groups, working on their powers. He finds himself looking out for the spot where Dave had been practicing but he can’t see any brown patches anywhere. Huh.

“I don’t hate you,” Dave blurts out, hands in his pocket as he stands on the other side of the balcony. “Just putting that out there.”

Dirk startles a bit but manages to keep it down to lifting his eyebrows. “Okay?”

“Look, Rose said we should have the feelings talk and that’s what I got. Okay? We good?”

“Sure.” Dirk rubs his fingers on the balcony railing. “I don’t hate you either.”

“Cool. Glad we got that out in the open instead of stuffed tight in a fridge under chains and shitty drawings, destined to be dropped in an ocean and forgotten by the canon of our story.” Dave glances off with a little shrug. “Anyway if you could like not do the ghost thing, that would be great.”

“Message received.” He’s pretty sure Jane might actually kill him this time if he does. “I, uh. I don’t suppose you’re ready to try the deaging so I stop looking like this, are you?”

Dave glances his way, considering that. “It works with the grass, anyway. But… Okay, I’m about to be _embarrassingly_ sincere right now. Final chance to bail.”

Dirk nods, accepting that. He’s kind of noticed that Dave likes to cloak just about anything he says in _mountains_ of irony and distractions, which he has the uncomfortably theory he learned from his brother since Dirk may like irony just fine but he doesn’t breathe it out with every word, but if Dave wants to drop it for a little while he is not going to stop him.

“I might have been unfair with you before,” Dave edges out, then blows a few bangs out of his face in a huff. “Like really unfair. Like on a scale from fair to fucking monsterous, I’d be pretty goddamn far.”

“Dave-” Dirk starts, because that is _completely_ not true, but Dave jerks up a hand to stop him.

“Not done dude, don’t kill my flow,” he says a little more sharply. “I’m serious. See? This is my serious face.”

Dirk frowns unhappily but he lets Dave hold the floor.

“I didn’t treat you fair. I mean, after i found out you were you and not… But I kept trying to treat you like him anyway. And you kept doing everything you could not to _be_ him.” Dave’s jaw works a moment before he continues. “I kept getting pissy with you anyway and holding shit against you that wasn’t in any way your fault. It was shitty to the extreme.”

“I don’t hold it against you,” Dirk can’t help but saying, even though he’s not sure Dave’s done. “I’m sorry my other self was such a shitbag.”

Dave shrugs a shoulder. “We can’t be responsible for all our alts, man. Just… I’m working on it, okay? On separating it out. You just… Sometimes you just remind me so much of him. Just. Not even really a lot, just my head goes right to him when I see you. And it’s kind of bullshit considering how fucking different it’s been since you showed up. Like using the _fridge_.”

Dirk thinks of the swords and thinks he kind of understands why that would be jarring.

“Look, things weren’t good with him. He fucking _hated_ me and you kind of obviously don’t, is what I’m saying. So… Just. Fuck, I don’t know. I’m absolute shit at this kind of thing.”

“It’s okay,” Dirk murmurs. “I am, too. I used to think about what it would be like to finally meet you and it definitely didn’t happen how I thought it might.”

Dave snorts. “We were actual functional human beings in your fantasy?”

“The _most_ functional.”

“Definitely a fantasy then.”

They share a look, equally amused. It’s nice, reaching this kind of understanding.

“Just so we’re clear,” Dirk says. “I’m sure the alt me was completely in the wrong and I’m sorry I messed up your life.”

Dave stares at him a bit and then looks away. “...Thanks, but it feels a little odd accepting an apology from somebody who technically had nothing to do with my life, even if you do feel guilty altways or whatever. It was just a messed up situation and it’s over. It’s _been_ over.”

“Once we get everyone fixed up…” Dirk trails because he’s not sure where to go with that, but… “After that, maybe we can hang out still. Figure out if we could even be friends.”

“I don’t think we gotta wait on that one.” Dave steps closer and then holds out his hand in the most formal fashion possible for not actually being dressed in a suit. Dirk only hesitates a few seconds before he reaches out to take it. “Nice to meet you. I’m Dave.”

“Dirk. Pleasure to meet you.”

Dave nods once, all solemnity and gravity. Then something shifts between them and Dirk feels something crack inside him, sharp and painful and-

He opens his eyes. He’s laying on the balcony floor. Dave stands over him expressionless. Dirk blinks a little and tries to figure out what the hell just happened. Did he have another seizure? But he’s way more clearheaded than last time and he hadn’t been using his powers _that_ much. Dave reaches down and Dirk takes his hand, letting him help him up. The second he’s off the ground though, Dirk has to grab his pants and jerk them up to keep the on his hips.

“The hell,” he mutters because his shirt is too big, too. And are did his shoes get oversized? Because his feet feel like they’re swimming.

“How do you feel?” Dave asks and when Dirk looks at him, they’re eye to eye.

“What-”

“Are you hurt? About to hurl? Literally going to die?”

Dirk blinks and everything comes crashing in at once. He looks at his free hand and then reaches up to grip his hair and…

He’s the right size. He’s the right _age_. Dave did it. Dave fixed him.


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter was already half written last night because I got on a roll and wrote until like 2am and it turned into another 2k behemoth. So XD 
> 
> Also there is throwing up in this one again.

The elation of not being a too huge version of himself lasts for about thirty seconds before suddenly Dirk gets violently sick. He crumples and his belly lets loose like his body is declaring war on him.

When he manages to stop throwing up, he feels absolutely _wrecked._ His guts keep churning like something is terribly wrong. Dave has to help him get up and even then Dirk leans on him with nearly all his weight because his legs don’t want to support him. He ends up getting sick again on the way down the stairs and by the time they get to the kitchen, he can’t support any of his weight at all. He goes down but Dave manages to catch him fast enough to keep his head from cracking on the tile.

Dirk is aware that someone’s talking and he’s pretty sure it’s Dave or maybe Jane or is that Roxy? There’s a hand on his forehead and it feels so damn cold. He’s getting rolled onto his back and he doesn’t fight it but his chest hurts so badly.

“Dirk!” Jane’s voice cuts through the weird haze in his head and he blinks at her a few times. Man, she looks _really_ old from this angle. “Stay with me. I’m going to heal you, okay?”

“Okay?”

He guesses that is probably a good idea. Then Jane sets her hands on him and it hurts _worse_. He thinks he might be screaming. He is… probably dying. For some reason, it feels kind of like he’s far away and just watching himself go through it. Weird. He’s disconnected from his body-

Oh jesus fuck, he really _is_. Dirk stares down at his body on the floor of Jane’s kitchen with Jane leaning over him and- huh, he wonders if she really glows that way when she’s using her powers or if he’s just noticing it because of game powers or something. Dave’s there too and he’s… Dirk squints because it looks like there are gears forming around Dave’s body, turning in rhythmic starts and stops. Is that what time looks like?

He looks up because Rose is rushing into the kitchen. Dirk can’t hear what she’s saying but suddenly Dave’s in motion, grabbing hold of the shirt Dirk’s body is swimming in- and how the hell did he miss that he isn’t right after all? His body is too small, his face too young. Dave didn’t get him to the right age. He overshot it by several years. Dirk must have just been so happy to not be a goddamn juggernaut that he missed the obvious, or maybe already suffering brain fog.

Except his body is changing again. It looks like he’s lengthening, limbs stretching out and the last vestiges of baby fat disappearing from his face. It’s starting to look more like him again, the face he keeps expecting to see in the mirror- and then Dave overshoots again and he’s too old, rapidly gaining back to where he’d been.

Jane yells something and Dirk thinks he knows what it’s about. He can see the fluttering thing in his chest weakening and his connection to it, solid and steady, starting to slip.

Oh. He _is_ dying. That’s kind of a let down. He’s not too surprised, it’s part of why he wanted to be the first, but still… Man, this is going to suck a lot for Dave and Jane. And probably everyone else, too.

It sucks for him, too.

Dirk watches his body flicker from year to year, watches the way it pushes him to the utter brink. Dave’s getting finer control each pass, tightening the difference, but it probably won’t be fast enough. Jane’s buffering whatever damage it’s doing to him the best she can but she’s weakening. Roxy stands at the edge of the kitchen, tears rolling down her cheeks as she stares wide eyed and trembling. Rose takes her hand and says something that does nothing to comfort her.

The connection is almost gone. Dave’s got him fluctuating between only a few years. Dirk looks down at himself. Is this it?

No. It certainly fucking _isn’t_.

Dirk reaches with hands he can’t see and grips his own soul tight, curling himself into a web of anchoring energy. If he doesn’t _let_ his soul give up, then it _can’t_.

He becomes less aware of what’s going on around him, centering fully on his one task that becomes progressively easier as endless seeming seconds pass. He doesn’t know how long it takes. He just knows that one second he’s holding on and the next he’s waking up.

Dirk is honestly surprised he’s not on the floor. When he tries to move his head, his neck is so sore he can’t quite complete the action. A warmth he’d felt at his hand suddenly shifts and then hands seize his face before he’s sudden inundated with a wave of hurried kisses all over.

“ _Dirk!_ Oh my god, Dirk! Guys! GUYS, HE’S AWAKE!”

He winces at the sound but a couple confused blinks has him making out Roxy, who turns back to him again and starts crying anew.

“You idiot!” she sobs and he kind of wishes he could hold her but his hands don’t seem to want to move much. Kind of feels like one of those times he pushed himself too hard and ended up flat on his back for days.

“Sorry?”

“Dave already said that but _you are not allowed to die, okay?!_ ” She sniffles and starts rubbing at her eyes as a clamber of feet echo in the hall and then the room is suddenly overfilled. Jane immediate gets a hand on his forehead like she’s checking into him, and she probably is.

“How do you feel?” she asks predictably.

“Sore,” he admits. “Kind of really hungry.”

Which is actually an understatement because he thinks he could probably eat an entire table full of fish right now. His belly is gnawing at him like it’s going to eat through his skin and go hunting in its own.

Jane nods and then turns to where Jade is bouncing excitedly in the doorway. “Go tell Dave that Dirk’s awake and he can stop flagellating himself. He needs to get ready for when _I_ flagellate _him_.”

“Yes ma’am!” Jade chirps, saluting with picture perfect rigidity and then scampering off.

Dirk has questions but he doesn’t get the chance to ask him. Jane kicks nearly everyone out and goes through a whole checklist of questions about what he feels, how much he can move, every ache and pain, and then she’s sitting him up and stuffing him full with the best goddamn soup he’s ever tasted. Food makes him feel so much better that he wonders if someone planted magic in it and would not be surprised if they had.

Jane feeds him the first bit but part way through, Dirk manages to bully his arms into working and takes over. His hands are shaky and he doesn’t have enough control for the spoon but he can drink it from the bowl just fine. He knows he should go slow but he downs the bowl in what feels like seconds. Jane replaces it with a fresh one and he sips down it nearly as fast, but she’s already refilled the third. He might wonder about his belly rejecting all this but it doesn’t so he tries not to think about that too hard.

After the third bowl, his stomach finally settles in happy warmth. Dirk relaxes back with it. Even though he’s still sore as hell, he’s a lot better in general now.

“So!” Roxy says, still looking ridiculously cheerful at his side. “Guess what, you’re almost sixteen again. Well, the calendar figures we’re halfway to seventeen and you could argue that we probably should be a couple months past that, but time is so not my bag of tricks and this is probably just fine, right?”

Dirk looks at his hands. He’s going to have to build up the right callouses again because apparently Dave’s brother either didn’t sword fight yet at sixteen or the time shenanigans couldn’t fix something so small, but his hands are the right size and have the familiar delicacy that lets him manipulate tiny sets of wires. He’s also not heads and shoulders above everyone even sitting down. So, that is awesome.

“Close enough for me,” he says. “What happened?”

Jane makes a face. “Dave isn’t talking much but as far as I can tell, he decided to try deaging you all at once without any back up and your body tried to mutiny. He got you down to us and I was able to stabilize you. I think, anyway. Rose said something about heart interference so I concentrated on that, but… Dirk, if you’re the one who suggested this, I am going to hit you _so hard_.”

“I, uh. Might have. In passing,” Dirk admits because he can’t just throw Dave under the bus all the way. “He kind of didn’t warn me he was gonna try, but I told him I wanted to be the first human trial.”

Jane draws in a hissing breath, pushing up her glasses so she can pinch at the ridge of her nose. “You guys are _idiots_ and you’re going to be the death of me, I swear.”

Dirk offers her a little smile and she returns it, despite the grumpiness. Then Roxy dive bombs him with a hug and it feels so fucking good to not be a goddamn behemoth because he fits nice and snug in her arms. He doesn’t mind her being bigger than him. It’s kind of cool, actually. He clings to her as tight as he can and she presses kisses to his cheek and ear before tucking her face against his neck and just holding on.

“Stop doing this to me,” Roxy orders. “As your new mother, I forbid it.”

Jane chokes. “New mother?!”

“Roxy decided she’s going to stay an adult because eight kids is too much to just toss on your dad,” Dirk explains even though he is getting a weird belly feeling that he thinks might be pure elation. How could he have doubted Roxy would take the mom thing seriously?

“Is that a good idea?” Jane sounds worried, looking between them as Roxy reluctantly pulls back and sits up again.

“Maybe not but… Janey, I’m not gonna just leave Rosie high and dry. She’s lost enough. And Dirk needs someone to look after him because he keeps doing _the dumbest things_.”

She gives him a dirty look and he feels appropriately chastised, he guesses.

“You’re sure about this?” Jane asks, reaching over to take Roxy’s hand. “You don’t have to do this, you know. I already talked to Dad about this days ago and he was completely okay in keeping all of us. You don’t _have_ to stay an adult.”

“I _want_ to.” Roxy smiles, all gentle beauty and sincere affection. “I know I don’t have to but… I really, really like being Rose’s mom. And I’m getting better at it!! I’m gonna be super mom! She will want for nothing!”

Jane’s not convinced but she nods. “I guess if you change your mind later, we can deage you then. _With_ supervision, oh my god, I am so angry with Dave right now.”

“With all due respect,” Rose says from the doorway, looking oddly misty eyed, “I think we all are, but he did ask me this morning if I could see whether he’d manage it or not. I told him I saw a potentially fruitful outcome, so I believe I have a share of the blame.”

Roxy gets up to go hug her immediately and Dirk watches the way Rose tenses up at first only to melt into Roxy’s affection the way he does.

“It’s okay,” Dirk tells her. “It turned out okay.”

“Dirk, you almost died,” Jane points out.

“But I didn’t,” he reminds her.

Jane gives him the nastiest look but she can’t really deny the truth. “Fine. But next one we try gets full supervision.”

“That is a fantastic idea, Queen Crocker.”

He definitely deserves the cuff she gives his ear.


	30. Chapter 30

Dirk naps pretty well after eating. He’s still sore when he gets up but the overall body weakness lessens enough that he can at least get up and go to the bathroom. His legs are wobbly under him and he figures he deserves at least that much. There’s a set of clothes waiting for him to change into. He gratefully shucks the slacks he’d been sleeping in with the belt tightened to the last notch to keep them up on his thinner hips. The t-shirt and pajama pants are a _lot_ more comfortable, even if it does have one of John’s dweeby slug things on it. He has no idea what it’s supposed to be or why Jane used to wear a similar design so often. He just never figured out how to ask her about it without being an out of touch nerd.

The stairs are more trouble than they’re worth but the second anyone downstairs realizes he’s awake, he’s got Roxy at his shoulder to keep him steady. The lot of them are gathered in the living room. Jade relinquishes her spot so he can sit down, giving him a concerned look over. He can’t quite smile at her with any sort of reassurance but he gives her a nod that she accepts as if it were.

“Hello, my boy,” Jeff says as he stands before the group. “Feeling any better?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Wonderful. We were just discussing a second possible trial for the age change. Your input would be most appreciated.”

Dirk thinks about what happened to him and grimaces a little. He has this weird, vague mental image of looking down at himself. Did he do a heart thing? It’s very probable.

“Well,” he says with a little shrug. “It kicks like a bitch.”

There are a few snickers and Jeff shakes his head a little. “Language, young man.”

_What_. Dirk stares at him without comprehension and Jane kind of loses it, so he stares at her next while she laughs. Beside her, John’s got a look on his face like he knows exactly what Dirk feels like but this is also pretty funny.

“English?” Dirk tries tentatively and there go half the rest of them. He’s under the distinct impression that he’s missing something but Jeff seems to have some compassion because he just waves off the whole thing.

“All right, calm down everyone,” he says with a certain amused tolerance. “We need to decide on the next trial, _which will be conducted in a controlled and orderly fashion_.”

His eyes linger on Dirk and then Dave, who’s sitting at the other end of the couch stiff and still and absolutely not involved in the laughter and wow, Dirk should probably talk to him and assure him that everything is okay because Dave doesn’t look too good.

“I would not be adverse to regaining my rightful age for the sake of science,” Rose says and Dirk sees the way Roxy’s hands tighten up, like she wants to grab Rose up and away from the possible danger. And it is dangerous, even if Dirk got out of it okay.

“Denied,” Dave says flatly without looking at her. Rose lifts a brow as she regards him but he keeps his eyes locked squarely on Jeff. “I’m next.”

And then Dirk’s the one who is totally not okay.

“This should be a group decision,” Jane tries to tell him but Dave just shakes his head.

“Nope.”

“Dave!” Jade reaches over and gives his head a friendly twack. “Stop being stubborn.”

“I could just do it now,” Dave warns and even Jade’s starting to flag. Dave is so incredibly not kidding. He drops his gaze to the floor, hands curling into fists against his knees. The worst thing is that he _could_ just do it and no one would be able to stop him.

“Dave Strider, you stop being a dramatic ninny _right this instant_.”

Dave stiffens and so does Dirk because he hasn’t gotten used to the sheer amount of authority Jane can get in her voice now. She gets up and stalks right to him, hands on her hips and nothing even close to amusement on her face.

“I don’t know if you’ve forgotten somehow but that didn’t work out too well last time!” she continues and Dave starts to sag. “Well I _do_ , as I was the one who had to help you _fix it_. So before you go off like a… a _cowboy_ and do it all yourself, let me make it clear that I’m not _letting you_.”

Dave says nothing, nor does anyone else. They stare at either her or him and just wait for the built up tension to break somehow, one way or another.

“‘Kay,” Dave says finally without looking at her. Jane gives him a hard look, daring him to change his mind, and then lets up.

“Besides,” she murmurs, “you need to be last.”

That gets Dave’s head jerking up.

“You _are_ kind of the powerhouse in this,” Roxy says like she’s trying to soothe him but Dave is not at all soothed.

“I should be the one testing it this time,” he maintains and Jane jerks up a hand to stop him.

“Not hearing it. You’re going last, Dave. Your power is the only reason why this is even remotely possible. We can’t risk losing it if something goes wrong until everyone’s been restored.”

Dave’s mouth presses in a thin line of barely repressed anger. Thing is, Jane’s right. They can’t risk Dave’s body giving up if they hope to get everyone through this. Jane lets up, reaching out to give Dave’s shoulder a squeeze. It doesn’t seem to help his mood at all.

“Anyway,” she continues, “ _I’m_ going next.”

“What?!” Jeff steps forward, catching her hand. “Absolutely not.”

“Dad-”

“There are too many risk. We should work with less of an age jump first, work through it slowly to iron out the kinks first-”

“What?! Dad!”

“Not you, Jane. Your and Jake are both at the _greatest_ risk.”

Jake shifts in his seat and doesn’t disagree with that but looks kind of like he wants to. As Jane and Jeff keep bickering, Dirk looks over the rest of them. Most are watching the back and forth, awkward about seeing it but invested in the outcome. And then there’s Rose. Dirk watches as she catches Dave’s eye and smiles at him, her brows lifting. He looks more unhappy with whatever is running between them but Dirk watches him give her a slight nod and then he knows what they’ve decided. And… Well. It makes an amount of sense.

Roxy is going to kill him for this.

“Let’s start with Rose,” he says. Jane and Jeff stop fighting and instead turn to him. Dirk can feel Roxy’s utter horror building but he is very, very careful not to look at her. “She’s not actively involved with the age changes. It’s a risk, but…”

“Neither am I,” Jade points out. “Or John.”

“Hey, I am not volunteering for this,” John shoots back with an uncomfortable expression. “I did this on purpose, remember?”

“It would be hard not to,” Jane says and John scrunches down a bit in his seat.

“Rose, honey, you don’t have to-” Roxy starts but Rose just gives her a soft smile.

“I’ve already Seen that I do,” Rose says. It’s just cryptic enough that Dirk wonders what else she might have Seen, too. Or if she Saw anything at all. She could be bluffing. They’d never know. “Not that this is at all a criticism, but we should also perhaps hurry.”

Dirk’s brows shoot up. That doesn’t sound like a bluff and from the unease that spreads around, no one else thinks so either.

“So it’s decided. We start with Rose,” Jake says for their benefit. Dirk meets his eyes and hopes he’s giving him a little strength. Jake’s lips quirk into a tight smile. “Hope powers activated?”

Rose gets up from the couch and goes to stand in front of Dave as Jane moves out of the way. She holds out her hand, her face gentle and inviting as she looks at him. It takes Dave only a moment to battle himself before he takes it.

“See you on the other side,” he says, and then she shift happens. Dirk isn’t sure how dramatic it might have been for him but the changes that come over Rose are gradual and look almost like waves, each crest bringing slight changes to her body. Her clothes were loose but slowly tightened in some places as her body widened, filled out. It probably only takes a few seconds but it feels like an hour. And then Rose’s eyes roll back as she starts to pitch backwards. Jeff catches her and lowers her back. She doesn’t completely lose consciousness but seems way out of it.

Jane knees down touches her shoulder, eyes half lidded as she lets her power flow through Rose’s body. Dirk spares what little energy he has right now to look into Rose but her soul is strong and steady the way his hadn’t been. Either Dave’s just gotten that much better at this or it’s easier to speed up a body rather than to reset it to an earlier point.

“I’m all right,” Rose says, sounding a little dreamy as Jane gives a nod of agreement. And then Roxy’s down to smooth Rose’s hair back from her face and do her own check over. She really is doing good at this mom thing, Dirk decides.

“I think it would be best if Rose rested for a little while,” Jeff decides and Roxy seems to agree because she’s already helping Rose up to her feet and leading her towards Jade’s bedroom to rest it off. As they head out, he then turns to Dave. “How do you feel, young man?”

“Fine.” There’s a light sheen of sweat on Dave’s forehead but his eyes are bright and alert. He’s not exhausted or too close to it either.

“Do you think you can try another?”

Dave considers that a moment and then nods. “Bring it on.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay! Now that the cold is starting to recede, lets see if I can get back to daily updates. I think i'm about... five chapters from the end, so I'm gonna try to marathon it.


	31. Chapter 31

Jade gets older without a problem. She’s dizzy and tired but nothing a little rest won’t fix. Jake leads her off to nap in Jeff’s room and John wanders after, babbling about something Dirk doesn’t bother listening to.

With each person, Dave’s getting better and faster. Jade takes barely more than two minutes. His skill increase is impressive but when Dirk tries to tell him that, Dave refuses to look at him. That’s… He doesn’t really know what that’s about or the way it makes his belly turn with something not unlike embarrassment.

With two down that day, Dave’s looking a little pale and Jeff declares they’re done for the day so Dave can get some rest. Dave tries to fight at first but Jeff’s pretty good at stern fatherly looks. Dirk gets up as Dave does but Dave turns from him and walks immediately towards the front door. And… Dirk doesn’t know if it’s right to feel like he’s being rejected. Dave owes him literally nothing and just because they might be physically related doesn’t mean Dave has to pay attention to him.

But...

Dirk startles a bit as Jeff pats his shoulder. “It’s all right, my boy. Young Dave is just working through something, I’m sure. Give him a little time.”

“...Sure.”

Jeff nods and then leaves him be. With everyone else filed out and off, Dirk’s left with only Jane, who is giving him such a look of unbridled sympathy that it’s embarrassing. He tries to pretend he isn’t bothered but honestly, he’s not great at hiding shit outside of strictly online interactions or very limited personal contact.

“You should go after him,” she says firmly and… she’s probably right.

Dirk looks towards the front door, closed since Dave went through it. “Yeah.”

Jane gets up and Dirk resists the urge to take her arm and help because she looks so very tired now. She’s steady and able but he can see everything taking a little more effort, a little more care. He hates that for her but Jeff’s right. Jane and Jake’s restoration will be more dangerous. Hopefully less so than his own was, though.

“Pretty sure he’s still beating himself up over you,” Jane says, shaking her head a little. “Which he certainly deserves to do, reckless idiot.”

“He thought he was helping,” Dirk finds himself defending. “And it _did_ work.”

“Only after you almost _died_.”

Point. Jane rolls her eyes and gives his shoulder a little push that has him stumbling back because huh, he’d gotten kind of used to the extra solidness of his alt’s body. It’ll take some training to get back to his normal inner body image. As Jane heads off to whatever it is she’s decided to be up to, Dirk goes back to staring at the front door.

He really should just go talk to him. Dave needs to know he’s not holding anything against him. Hell, it’s exactly how Dirk would do things. _Has_ done things. Which might actually be a bad thing now that he’s thinking about it.

Well. He can’t put it off forever.

Taking a nice deep breath, Dirk heads to the front. He’s still kind of wobbly but it gets better with every step. By the time he grabs hold of the door knob, he’s reasonably sure he won’t fall and embarrass himself outside where the world could potentially see him.

Dave’s sitting in the middle of the walkway swell in front of the door. He twitches as Dirk steps outside but doesn’t turn around. Dirk closes the door after himself and then sinks down next to him, even if he’s not quite sure he’ll be able to get up again without help.

If Dirk thought it felt awkward before, the feeling of how consciously Dave isn’t looking at him magnifies by a factor of some huge and ridiculous number. Dirk carefully folds his legs under him and sets his hands on his knees. He’s patient. He can wait. If he waits long enough, Dave is sure to explode already and get it out of his system.

Except he doesn’t. Dave just sits there, winding himself tighter and tighter and for a guy with a reputation for never shutting his mouth, he’s actually pretty good at silence. Dirk peeks at him from the corner of his eye and tries to think up something to say to him, but how exactly does he expect to comfort Dave when he’s so obviously not 100% yet?

“It’s okay,” he tries even though it’s so fucking lame he can’t stand it.

It gets Dave’s attention though. Dave’s shoulders hunch forward as his head dips and then he mutters out, “Sure.”

It’s a word! Said to him! That’s progress!

“It is, though. A little bumpy but it turned out okay.”

Dave turns his stare to the side of the yard so he doesn’t have to look at Dirk even from the periphery. Dirk tries very, very hard not to let on how tiny that makes him feel.

“You did good with Rose and Jade today,” he tries and Dave hunches even more. “They’ll be up and running around by dinner.”

“You don’t have to do this,” Dave tells him with a harder edge to his voice, but it also sounds… Well. Kind of forced.

“You’re my brother,” Dirk blurts and that is definitely _not_ what he meant to say but it’s got Dave jerking upward and turning to stare at him with shades that take up so much of his face it’s ridiculous. Dirk tries not to feel self conscious and fails and then resolutely stares back anyway. “Well, you _are_.”

“ _I killed you_ ,” Dave hisses. “You get that, right? It’s not some TV spook cliffhanger or a convenient sad fanfic trope, I _literally killed you_ a couple times and would have fucking _failed to bring you back_ if Jane wasn’t there.”

Dirk blinks. Huh. Well, he guesses that could be pretty shitty to remember if he remembered it well, which Dirk doesn’t. “So?”

“So?!”

“Yeah. So?” Dirk shifts and leans back with his arms to brace him. “So, I’ve died a couple more times. At least you didn’t decapitate me.”

Dave looks kind of sick. Dirk watches the way his eyes flicker to Dirk’s neck and then Dave’s looking pointedly across the street instead.

“Hey,” Dirk murmurs more softly, keeping it low and calm between them. “I already told you to start with me, remember?”

“Yeah.” It comes out quiet and like Dave’s throat is all clenched up around it.

“So it’s a good thing you did. I mean, you don’t even know me that well. It’d have been way more traumatic if you started with one of your friends.” Dirk doesn’t even want to imagine messing something up that much with one of his, or with Dave. He barely stands what he sparked with Jade.

But now Dave’s looking at him again, jaw clenched and brows furrowed in open, plain distress and Dirk doesn’t know why, so he adds, “I’m not saying you would have messed up if you started with your friends-”

“You’re not _expendable_ ,” Dave snarls at him and Dirk gets caught short. He can’t look away from the clear anger in Dave’s face or the way his lips peel back to show clenched teeth. “What, you think I chose you because you’d hurt the least to _lose?_ ”

Well. Kind of. Plus because he’d offered.

“Unbelievable.” Dave goes back to glaring at the house across the street like it killed his mother. “And they say _I’m_ suffering from a ridiculous lack of self confidence.”

He kind of is. Dirk frowns with confusion. “I figured it was so I wouldn’t look like him anymore.”

Dave snorts, low and bitter. “You still look like him.”

Shit. Dirk completely misread this. He is just making things worse. He stays quiet for a while because that seems the best option until he can figure out a way to gracefully leave the situation and then maybe never talk to Dave again. He’d thought as soon as he stopped looking like Dave’s brother, things would be so much better. He feels kind of stupid for having held onto that so tightly, but…

Dave had been his idol. His _hero_. The person he wanted most to be like. He’d been looking forward to meeting him so much, even if it was a teenage version of him from a different universe. It was still _Dave_. And now all he’d managed to do is be a terror and a screw up to the one person he desperately wanted to _like_ him.

And he is messing it up every step of the way. Dirk tries to ignore the churning in his belly and how much he wants to run. He can’t, though. He owes Dave that much.

“For what it’s worth,” Dirk says, trying not to be embarrassed by his own candor, “I’m glad I met you.”

Dave doesn’t answer but there is a more tense quality to his silence.

“I kept thinking about what it would be like and it… definitely failed to live up to real life.” Understatement. Dirk shakes his head a little. “It was better, even in this weird fucking circumstance. I just wish I could have done a better job of the big brother thing.”

Dave rakes his fingers back through his hair and lets out a frustrated sigh. “Dude. I don’t know what your malfunction is, but you were kind of kickass at the big brother thing.”

Dirk startles a bit because _what_.

“I meant that, okay? When I said you were okay at it. Except you were better than okay.” Dave glares at him as if he expects Dirk to disagree. “I should have appreciated it more instead of pushing your buttons all over the place.”

“Dave, it’s fine. I read the forums, I kind of knew what to expect,” Dirk protests. “Your bro had suddenly lost his mind and turned Susie Homemaker on you. Anyone would have pushed some buttons.”

“I was trying to figure out what would make you _hit_ me,” Dave throws out like a gauntlet and _wow,_ does that ever put some clarity into some of it.

“I wouldn’t,” Dirk says and Dave shrugs.

“Yeah, I know now. You only did the once and I made that not happen, so-”

“I _what?!_ ”

Dave frowns a second and then shrugs his shoulders like he doesn’t care. “When we were starting the whole time training thing. We strifed. You knocked me off the building. I made it not happen.”

Dirk thinks back and the pieces fit. The way the Dave that came back had been bloodied, had been adamant about not strifing, had thrown his twin off the ledge. It still makes his stomach drop to think about, but now he’s got the sick realization that he’d caused Dave to have to make that loop in the first place. He could have killed him if Dave’s powers hadn’t snapped on to save him.

“Dude,” Dave says, leaning a bit to look at him closer. “It’s fine. You were trying to help me and I’m pretty sure this stunt makes us even.”

It’s… a good point, but Dirk still feels pretty sick about it. “How about we promise not to try to kill each other again?”

“Sure.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More Strider awkwardness because I guess I have a kink?


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, thing I've never experienced. Working off second hand descriptions.

“Nope.”

Jane looks at John with open irritation. “What do you mean ‘nope’?”

“ _Nope_ ,” John says again, once more with feeling. He stands stubbornly in front of her, arms crossed over his chest and feet set in a wide, defiant spread. “I’m good.”

“John, you’re a sixteen year old in a thirteen year old’s body,” his dad tries with absolutely no success, and that makes Dirk wonder if John really _is_ only sixteen, considering how many re-dos he lived through.

“Nope!”

“You can’t just nope this!” Jane insists so John sticks his fingers in his ears and starts chanting _la la la_ to drown her out. Jane looks like she wants to strangle him. Maybe he isn’t even actually sixteen after all. Jane throws her hands up and just gives up as she turns her back on him.

They can’t let Dave age himself yet. With the aging up at a standstill, it’s time to tackle another _de-_ aging. And this is what they’ve been afraid of. John’s chanting quiets and dies out as the mood of the room drops abruptly. Jake and Jane look at one another, sizing up their relative healths and courage. They know who is going to volunteer and who _should_ volunteer and the answers are different, but the thing is, everyone already knows who’s going first because they need Jane until the end, just like Dave.

“Come along,” Rose says and Dirk only saw her in passing in the game but this voice sounds more like it should, smooth and light and dripping with self contained knowledge. He wonders if she got that from him and then crosses that off because of course she got that from Roxy. It’s the smugness that she got from him.

Jake takes a deep breath and then steps into the center of the crowded living room. He looks half terrified and if it weren’t for their past, Dirk might try to comfort him- except he wouldn’t because Dirk is shit at that. Roxy does it for him, giving Jake a smile and his hand a little squeeze. He looks grateful for it, even if he’s not any more confident than he was.

“Okay,” he says, straightening up his spine. Dirk can almost hear his internal monologue telling him to take it like a man. “Let’s get cracking!”

“You should probably sit down,” Jane suggests and Jake flinches a little, the facade cracking, but he does as she says. She’s right, though. None of them have been able to stay on their feet after this process and Dirk can only think this one will be even more physically traumatizing.

Dave steps up in front of Jake and Dirk reads the tension running down the length of his body. This is going to be more difficult than he’s tried before. Dirk wishes there were something he could do to help, but…

Jake holds out his hand and there is a subtle, tiny shake to it. He’s trying so hard to be brave. Dave takes his hand and then the de-aging begins.

Dirk doesn’t know what his own looked like but this isn’t even close to how it had been watching Rose and Jade grow up. Years flowed and anchored to their bodies in a fairly even progression. This is less uniform because adults age that way, little bits at a time. It seems almost patchwork, the way Dave directs things. He goes slow, but even then, when Jake is somewhere around fifty, something goes wrong.

Dirk isn’t quite sure what makes Jake suddenly jerk, the way his eyes go wide and his skin pale with sharp, striking pain, but Jane’s already moving. She grabs his other hand and channels her own power in the mix to stabilize him. The pained grimace fades and more years roll of Jake’s body. Dave stops them when Jake’s maybe thirty and lets go. There’s a light sheen of sweat on his forehead but Jake looks worse. He’s laying pretty limply and despite Jane’s healing, he looks kind of sick. He pants as if he’s been running and his hair is drenched with sweat and sticking to his forehead.

“I’m fine,” Jake says and his voice isn’t the gravely mess it had been but it’s still weird. His face is smoother and his body stronger (and it is kind of unfair that Jake is hot at any goddamn age because Dirk feels bad about still thinking like that.) He also looks like he’s just been dragged along ten miles of bad road. “I’m fine, keep going. I want to be _me_ again.”

It’s desperate, tugs at feelings Dirk wishes he didn’t have anymore. “Maybe you should rest first-”

“ _No_ ,” Jake insists with a frantic sort of desperation, like he thinks this is his one shot to be normal again.

Dave stares at him in silence, his expression so guarded that Dirk gets absolutely nothing from it. Then he takes Jake’s hand again.

It’s less dramatic through the rest of the years. Jane keeps hold of Jake through it and from the spark in the air, Dirk’s sure she’s healing him the whole way to keep him steady. He still passes out the moment Dave lets go but Dirk’s distracted by the way Dave starts to crumble. He jolts forward to catch him, steadying Dave against his own body.

“I’m fine,” Dave mutters and he doesn’t look fine at all. Jade’s there next to help Dirk get him to a chair, and Dirk sees from his peripheral that Jeff, Rose, and Roxy and carrying Jake to sleep off the de-aging. Dirk can’t help checking Dave’s forehead (hot and sweaty) and his pulse (too quick) before Dave clumsily slaps his hands away. “I’m _fine_.”

“Oh, stop it,” Jade says as she gives him a teasing twap on the head. “Take your punishment like a man, Dave.”

“Since when do _I_ deserve punishment?”

She gives him a look. It is remarkably more effective at sixteen than thirteen. Dave sulks and glares at the floor. Shaking his head, Dirk goes to fetch some water and dampens a hand towel to try and cool him down. When he gets back, he pauses in the doorway and watches as Jade and Dave talk in voices low enough he can’t hear them. Jade’s pressing her forehead to Dave’s and he seems to be calmer with the contact, eyes closed as he just enjoys her presence.

Dirk doesn’t begrudge them their friendship. He just… kind of wishes he could be that for Dave, too. They had years to build their rapport, though. He only had a couple months and most of that was spent fucking shit up. Maybe someday, if he can keep from screwing anything else up in the meantime.

He waits until Jade’s pulled back to announce his presence with a few carefully loud steps. Dave looks up just as Dirk shoves the glass of water in his face. He hands the towel off to Jade and watches while she fusses over patting his forehead and Dave pretends he’s only tolerating her. Dirk hopes Jade knows how much of a show that is, and he’s pretty sure she does considering the amusement clear in her face.

The rest of the day is pretty calm. It’s a unanimous decision that Jane’s transformation would be the next day, possibly even after that if Dave’s still shaky. She’s patient enough but Dirk can see the anxiousness in her to be herself again, free of the old body dying all around her. He wants that for her but he also wants Dave to not kill himself trying.

He’s helping Jane clean up after dinner when Jane suddenly stumbles. She grabs onto the counter to steady herself and then drops the plate she’d been holding. It smashes against the ground as Dirk steps up to her. She’s gone pale, her tanned skin losing the healthy shine of it she’d managed to keep even at this age. Her eyes go glassy and her breathing is off. Short and shallow and tight, like she’s fighting for it.

“Jane,” he says and when her knees go out from under her, Dirk grabs hold and lowers her down to sit. Her jaw clenches tight even as her lips curl back in a pained grimace. She’s shaking all over and seems as confused by all this as Dirk is worried. “ _Jane_.”

She tries to say something, looking up at him, but she doesn’t have enough air for it and then her entire body goes clenches up like she’s been hit. Dirk stops trying to get her to respond and instead calls for Jeff as loudly as he can. There’s a stomp on the stairs, a thud on the ground floor, and then Jeff’s swinging himself through the kitchen door. He drops immediately to his knees beside Jane, checking her over with care. Dirk’s never seen him scared but now he knows what it looks like and it twists him up inside.

“DAVE!” Jeff shouts back towards the open doorway and then turns to Dirk. “You have some amount of power over souls. _Use it._ ”

Dirk didn’t realize he's frozen until he isn’t anymore and then he’s grabbed hold of Jane’s arm and- her soul is a flickering, fading thing. It looks like the woman’s next door but instead of a slow progression towards ending, Jane is approaching finality with speed.

Dave skitters into the kitchen as Dirk gets a good hold of Jane’s soul and starts pouring strength into it. He is not going to lose her, not now. Not _ever._


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seizure warning again.

Dirk doesn’t have healing powers. He can do nothing for the chaos going on in Jane’s body. All he _can_ do is to make sure her soul doesn’t leave it, no matter how much it wants to. And it _does_ want to. It’s fighting him tooth and nail, severing off the spiderweb of connections with her body one strand at a time. As fast as he’s hooking them back into place, another one falls free.

Jane isn’t conscious anymore. They move her to lay on the floor and her body is so limp, like she’s already gone. She isn’t, he has a firm grip on her, but she looks like it. He tries not to think about it.

Dave’s got his hands on her belly and his face is a mask of concentration behind the shades. Under his guidance, her body starts sliding back in age, one hardfought year at a time. Dirk doubles down around her soul as it fights harder as the stresses on her body double, triple, continue to multiply exponentially.

This is so much harder without her powers to mitigate the damage. Dirk has to put more and more of himself into the hold to keep Jane alive. It feels like she’s gone thin and breathy in his hands, like she could slip through his fingers at any moment. He can’t let her, refuses to let her. They did not get this far just to lose someone in the end.

Dave starts to shake next to him as he gets Jane down to fifty, forty-five, forty. His eyes are glassy and fatigued and he is not going to make it down all the way if something doesn’t change, tired as he had already been. Dave is as stubborn as Dirk is, maybe even more so, and even as his body sways, almost loses consciousness, Dave just grits his teeth and throws even more energy into it.

Dirk stares at him from Jane’s other side. Dave would _kill_ himself doing this, same as Dirk. He wonders if Dave got that from him and whether or not that’s even a good thing.

Jane’s soul hiccups and Dirk throws his full attention into holding on. The problem is that even if he keeps it from escaping, it’s still closing down connections. She’s still going to die. Dirk hasn’t tried to fix those connections before, only destroy them, but he has to figure that out right this second.

He reaches more of himself into her than he knew he could. Dirk spreads himself across her, fits himself against every connection she should have and soothes the burn, cut edges. Her soul recoils at first but he coaxes it little by little, stretching it from the well coiled mass back out over the whole of her. It fights him the whole way because it isn’t his nature to create or to heal, it’s to destroy.

He can feel the deep spanning nothingness calling for her, pleading with him. He doesn’t know if this is death or simply inevitability but he denies it in equal turns. The world around him grows hazier and fades with every second. Dirk ignores that. It’s not important. He has a job to do.

And then some single, tiny connection clicks into place and everything changes. Jane’s soul beats and it matches the sluggish heart that has barely kept up with all this. They beat in time again and warmth begins to flow out from it like a cascade of water. Dirk almost loses hold of her in surprise but then realizes it’s working. It’s working! He madly throws everything into making every connection he can, anchoring her to a body that isn’t dying anymore. He can still feel the stress Dave is putting on her but she’s fighting! She’s staying with him!

Another connection sinks home and then another and another until finally, there are more connected than not. She feels so very solid in his grip even as his own body seems to be failing around him. He doesn’t care. He will not lose her.

He feels a hand on his shoulder and gets a sudden second wind of energy he didn’t know he had. Dirk flies through the last connections and feels it the moment Jane wakes up because suddenly those connections turn impossibly solid and grounded. The stresses are lessening as her powers switch into play, healing the damage already there and then following behind Dave to heal as he breaks her through the age manipulation.

Dirk starts withdrawing not because he wants to but because his energy is just _gone._ And then so is he.

He wakes up some unknown time later, confused in a way that is familiar but that he can’t quite understand why. He’s laying on his side and in front of him is a boy he knows but can’t think of how. The boy has a hand on his shoulder, keeping him from rolling around, and his touch is nice and calming.

“Hey, old chap,” the boy says when he notices Dirk is awake. He smiles, awkward and sincere.

Dirk can’t answer him, but the boy doesn’t seem to mind. He stays with him, babbling about things Dirk is sure should be important but that he’s having trouble keeping up with. There are things Dirk should be asking about but he can’t quite wrap his brain around what they are.

Around them, Dirk’s aware there are others moving and speaking in low voices but it’s easier to focus on the nice boy who smiles at him in reflex more than actually because he feels like it. It’s like he wants to be cheerful for Dirk and Dirk kind of likes that. He wonders if he could make the boy smile at him for real.

“Can you speak yet?” the boy says.

“Probably not,” someone else says from behind Dirk and that voice is so very familiar he can almost taste it.

Dirk opens his mouth to speak and can’t figure out the rest. It’s like his brain is sloshing through a thick fog. Something tells him this will fade but right now he’s stuck in the haze.

“It’s all right. Take your time,” the boy assures him and it makes Dirk feel nice and warm inside.

“How’s Dave?”

“Sleeping it off. Jane says he’s stable.”

“She should be resting, too!”

Jane. Jane, Jane, Jane. It fits into his mind sharp like a blade because that’s… That’s important. That’s…

“Jane,” he says, slow and awkward, and the boy jerks- _Jake_. That’s Jake. That’s…

“She’s okay,” Jake assures him, brightening up considerably. “You and Dave pulled a miracle out of your backsides.”

That’s good. That’s really good. Yes, that’s good. He just basks in how good that is. Then Jake is getting up and a blond woman sits down instead and… He knows her, too. He does, she’s…

“Didn’t I tell you not to do this to me again,” she says all tender and sweet and then she’s petting his hair back and that’s nice, he likes that.

“Sorry,” he says and she just gives a long sigh and smiles like she loves him. It’s good. Really good.

“Doofus,” she says tenderly and- Roxy. That’s Roxy. That’s his new mom. “You pushed it too far again. How do you feel?”

“Okay,” which is a lie but it seems like the right answer. It makes her giggle, so he thinks he got it right.

“Do you think you can sit up?”

He has absolutely no idea how to even start that but then her hands are on him and she eases him up slow and gentle. His body sort of remembers this bit. She leans him up against something that makes it easier to stay steady.

“We should get him to bed,” a tall man says and then Jake and Roxy are helping him up to his feet, but they have to loop his arms over their shoulders because he can’t hold himself up. He doesn’t know where they’re taking him but he doesn’t mind. He’s so very tired.

He tries to help them but he doesn’t have much control of his feet. They don’t seem to mind, much. Then he’s being set down on a bed and Roxy tugs the blankets up over him, tucks him in nice and cozy. She sits down next to him and reaches over to pet his hair.

It’s nice. He sleeps.


	34. Chapter 34

Dirk is not happy when he wakes up. He hurts from head to toe, more than when Dave de-aged him, and he feels sluggish and clumsy even when lying still. Roxy’s still there and she helps him to the bathroom and then out to the kitchen to get something to eat. Dave’s at the table, looking as much like death warmed as Dirk feels. They share a look, mutually agreeing on how much this sucks and how worth it that had been.

Jane is sitting at the table too and she is sixteen years old and she is absolutely perfect. No matter how terrible Dirk feels, it was worth it for that.

Jeff keeps a sharp eye on them all day, shuffling them between food and rest and absolutely not allowing any of them to do anything even remotely stressful. He’s pretty good at this parental thing. If Dirk hadn’t gotten himself chibified, he might be taking notes but he’s pretty sure he’d never have gotten on the same level even with a hundred years of training.

He feels better a day after that, and almost 100% the next. Dave’s gotten more antsy, probably because he’s still thirteen and Jeff expressly forbade him fixing that yet. Roxy’s in agreement with him and hovers over the two of them even more than Rose, who seems to find the whole situation pretty damn funny, if Dirk is judging her expression well.

Jade’s been working on trying to get John to go ahead and be a big boy again, but it’s a failing effort. He’s pretty determined to make up for the years the game took from him, and despite that, Dirk’s back to thinking he’s definitely lived more than sixteen chronological years. There’s a kind of desperate emotional fatigue in John that Dirk has absolutely no idea what to do with. Of course, it doesn’t help that John is completely unwilling to talk about it or be serious in the least. Which is honestly kind of annoying when he decides they’ve had enough time to recover and starts the pranking.

Dirk wonders if this is what it’s like to have a little brother. At least, without also being an adult and being their sole parental influence, anyway.

But, watching John flaunt his youth, Dirk starts wondering about the other side of it. Roxy’s had her everything-is-fine game face on for months now. Even the few times she’s dropped it around him, it hasn’t gone all the way and not all of that can just be adulthood. No matter how much older bodies and less hormonal brain chemistry changed them, she’s still Roxy and he’s pretty sure she’s taking on more than she can actually handle. Maybe he’s underestimating her. He has a habit of misreading people and pushing them too far, but maybe this time she really can go the distance.

Maybe.

Maybe he’s just worried about being there for her when she’s an adult and he’s a kid. It shouldn’t mean anything but the power differential between them has changed way more than he’d initially considered it might. Roxy is taking the mom thing really seriously, fussing over him way more than she’d have let herself before, or than he would have allowed And that’s another weird thing, how willing he is to let her do that when a couple months ago they were on mostly solid ground. Her disappointed face was bad enough to handle before. Now it’s almost unbearable.

She says she wants this. He’s trying to let her have it, but the doubts keep coming back over and over. He wonders if she’ll start confiding in Jeff now since they’re the only adults now. And that’s another potential problem: if Roxy decided she couldn’t handle parenthood after all, then would their care be left at _Jeff’s_ feet, all alone? It’s not a good situation either way but Jeff really _is_ an adult. He potentially already knows how to do this kind of thing. And Jane had turned out pretty well, for all that the game tried to break her, so that was a testament to his skill.

He’s probably thinking too much about this but Rose pauses on the way past him and mutters out low between them, “You aren’t.”

He has the sinking suspicion he knows what she means but then she’s continued on and he can’t quite make himself call after her.

With both John and Roxy refusing to be fixed, there’s only Dave left. He makes the change quickly and with little fanfare. Jane does a cursory look over but doesn’t even have to heal him. Dave’s gone through the gauntlet of age shifts and apparently come out of it with more refined control, nearly on level with his game prowess.

He looks more comfortable at sixteen, less like he’s living in someone else’s too small skin. When he stands by Dirk, he’s only an inch or so shorter. As an adult, Dave would end up exactly 180 centimeters if matching the other timeline and Dirk had been somewhere around 190 as Dave’s older brother, so Dirk isn’t too surprised to be taller now. They stare each other down for a few seconds and Dirk wonders if he’s supposed to say something now, but he can’t think of what.

“I am going to drink _all_ the apple juice,” Dave says abruptly and then fetches the nearly full bottle of it from the fridge that Jeff had just gotten that morning. Dirk is pretty sure he’s supposed to feel let down or something, but really he’s just relieved.

They don’t end up having another feelings talk, which is good, because that night he walks outside to get some air that night and finds Roxy in tears on the back lawn. Dirk freezes when he recognizes the sniffles and little, muffled sobs as what they are. And… shit. He’d never been great at comforting before and he certainly isn’t now. Is he allowed to hug her or should he pretend he didn’t see it? Is he supposed to offer her a shoulder or just walk away?

There’s another sob and he sits down next to her before he can remember he probably shouldn’t. She jumps a little, jerking her head up to stare at him. Her eye makeup is starting to smear and drip along her cheeks and under the thin layer of foundation, red has blotched up around her eyes and cheeks. He studies her face a moment and then reaches over to tug her to him where she can tuck her face against his shoulder.

It’s more awkward than it used to be, when they were the same size, but she immediately clings to him and lets out a wretched sob. Dirk holds her for a while, ignoring the uncomfortable feeling of her makeup rubbing onto his skin or the way the collar of his shirt goes damp. She needs this, he can tell, and Dirk is really bad at denying Roxy things he can actually give her. Maybe because of the things he _can’t_.

She cries for a long time and then just goes still and limp against him. Her breathing calms, hiccuping here and there but smoothing out soon enough. Dirk just holds her, petting his fingers through her hair the way she’d done for him.

“I’m sorry,” she says finally, runny and choked with shame. “This is the shittiest mom behavior.”

“I’ll live.” Dirk keeps petting her hair because it seems to help. “You know… You don’t have to do this.”

“Yes I _do!_ Someone needs to and I can’t just let you and Dave go off on your own, not with how easy you get hurt.”

“ _Hey._ ”

“Don’t even try to deny it, DiStri. You guys are such shit at looking after yourselves.” She sniffs, then snuggles in against his shoulder a little more. “And I _want_ to be there for you and Dave and Rose.”

Dirk sighs a little, resting his cheek against her hair. She is so, so too good for him. He closes his eyes and pretends they’re the same size and her voice is right. “I mean, I guess I can see wanting to stay legal for Jane’s Dad.”

“Oh my _god_ , I didn’t even think of that,” Roxy lies, laughing a little. It’s still sounds wet and congested, but it’s comforting to hear.

“If I can’t have him, you should.”

She giggles and gives him a squeeze. “Shame we can’t share.”

Boy is it ever. Dirk is pretty sure it’s unfair and illegal how hot Jeff Egbert is.

He nuzzles her hair a little. “I’m serious though. You don’t need to be my mom. I kind of like you as my friend.”

Roxy doesn’t answer at first except to squeeze him again. He feels a new flood of tears and just wraps his arms around her properly.

“He’s right, you know.”

Both of them jump at the new voice and stare at Jeff, standing only a few feet behind them. Dirk hadn’t even heard him, jeez. Jeff gives them a kind look as he steps closer and then squats down to put them all on the same level. His gaze is gentle as it falls from Dirk to Roxy.

“You don’t have to give up half your life because you feel somehow responsible,” he says and the amount of utter kindness in him is overwhelming even for Dirk, who he’s not even addressing. “You’re still a child, Roxy, and it would be a crime to force you to be more than that when you don’t have to.”

“But Rose and-”

Jeff lifts a hand to silence her. “ _You_ are just as important as they are and deserve the same freedom.”

Roxy’s jaw goes tight and she looks fit to burst. With anger or more tears, Dirk’s not sure, but Jeff doesn’t seem to be worried. He keeps his gaze on her steady and strong.

“I’ve already decided to keep the lot of you. Eight teenagers can’t be that much harder than one or two.”

And then Roxy breaks and she’s sobbing again but this time, Jeff’s on the case. He pats her back and says little soothing things, all low and strong and confident, and it’s better than Dirk could do but maybe if he sticks around he can learn.

Strangely, the idea of Jane’s dad raising them isn’t really that awful.

Jeff hands over her handkerchief so Roxy can clean up her face. When they get inside, Jane and Dave are waiting for them.

“Rose warned us,” Dave says with a shrug and then he holds out his hand. Roxy smiles as she takes it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> While I really liked the idea of Roxy mothering the Striders (because it's fucking cute, okay?) I went into this knowing it would be too much for her. Still sad to lose the mental image though.


	35. Chapter 35

They are totally and completely not legal people. It hits them all at once while they’re discussing school, because of course Jeff wants them all in some kind of schooling once the summer is up. And that would be all well and good if half of them weren’t legally too old for high school or weren’t legally people in the first place (Jake and Jade, it turns out when Roxy tries to find some record of them.)

That starts a sudden jolt of activity and the combined resources of Roxy, Dirk, and Jeff. They start out by pooling the various fortunes together in a common account that Dirk is sure will blow some banker’s mind when they notice the careful progression of Dirk and Roxy’s millions into Jeff’s decent but still distinctly middle class suburbia funds. Jeff also sets up a college fund for each one of them and they fill them liberally because, “if one of you decides to go to Harvard, you’re darn well going to Harvard!”

Dirk has to do a google search on what Harvard is and then the other Ivy League schools, and that brings him to M.I.T. and he is both curious about continued learning and also a little bitter he didn’t have access to this before. They build _robots_ there. He is so for that.

While most of Dirk’s ill begotten puppet porn gains goes to Jeff for their continued care, a significant portion of it goes elsewhere. He sends a couple checks to the Waffle House he had his first seizure in to be distributed between the workers after Roxy breaks into their employee database so he can get their names. It’s about all he can think to do to thank them for their timely response and kindness while he and Dave had been there. He sends a similar gift to the paramedics once Dave hands over the card he’d kept from them so he’s got _their_ names. He’s not exactly sure how generous is too generous but Jeff doesn’t veto the amounts he writes down so it must be okay, even if Jeff does look just a little poleaxed.

Then it’s back to shuffling money around, setting aside shit for taxes, and figuring out what the hell to do about the three legal persons they now need to figuratively kill. Jake doesn’t technically exist so he gets a pass, and Jane is pretty easy since she’s so old no one would bother to look into her sudden departure from the mortal coil or question a quiet and extremely private funeral. Even Dirk’s death is relatively easy to orchestrate since it’s not like anyone but Dave would have cared. Well, maybe some subscribers. Dirk is sure to send out a very nice form letter explaining the sudden death and that all subscriptions would be cancelled after thirty days (the internet tells him this is perfectly legal since Dave’s bro apparently only bothered with a month to month type deal.) He reroutes important mail to a new email account and closes out the old one right after so he doesn’t have to deal with angry customers he gives absolutely no shits about. Then he’s handling the rest of closing out Dave’s bro’s business one piece at a time. It’s annoying enough that he wonders why an asshole like that even bothered in the first place.

Roxy’s busy killing herself off. Rose’s mom had been kind of a big wig, it turns out. That one takes time and patience and a lot of forethought. She manages to backdate a will giving Jeff custody of Rose in the event of Dr. Lalonde’s death, filing it quietly with her l33t haxxor skillz. Dirk can’t help but see that when she says it because he can’t imagine her spelling it any other way. It takes her a couple weeks to get it all together. She’s apparently been on a leave of absence anyway and it wasn’t a complete hassle to backfile medical visits to explain her sudden fatal illness.

Rose does get several nice grieving cards, though.

With some people murdered off, it’s time to make the rest of them legal citizens and also Jeff’s adopted brood. This turns out to be a lot easier than the killing part but a lot more boring. Roxy and Dirk tagteam various government agencies to get everything filed in triplicate where no one would look for it (probably). Dirk may not have Roxy’s finesse but he’d spent years covering his tracks and hacking into what little of the human internet that was still around and the troll internet that the batterwitch kept up despite being about the only thinking being to use it. He knows how to keep from being detected.

It takes most of the summer for everything to be squared away. And then they’re all legally Jeff Egbert’s kids, adopted or not, and it is officially time to relax maybe sort of not really. They aren’t exactly the relaxing type.

Jeff surprises them one day with news that they’re moving because the house is too small for the nine of them and he’s upsizing. Turns out to be a nice place but Dirk finds that he absolutely _hates_ moving, especially since they have to plan for trips to three different places to get everyone’s shit. It goes with very few hitches and then Dirk and Dave are sharing a room together because there are five bedrooms in the place and apparently bunk beds are a thing Dirk didn’t know about but now finds himself unironically loving the shit out of. He and Dave argue over what goes on the walls of their room. It feels weirdly, wonderfully domestic.

Somehow, a couple weeks later he’s got a card in the mail with a DVD in it. The Waffle House staff made him a video to thank him for his generosity and also with fond wishes for he and Dave to keep being awesome, along with a ridiculous musical number featuring some disco music he doesn’t recognize. His waitress has a pretty nice voice but the cook is so off key it’s almost not funny. Dirk watches it by himself and tries to pretend it doesn’t make him almost choke up with laughter or feelings or both. It goes into a protective sleeve and he hides it in his things so he can covet it forever.

At the end of the summer, Jeff announces that he’s enrolled them in tutoring since they’d missed one to three years of school (or any school at all in Dirk and Roxy’s cases) and that he expected them all to keep up their studies with all due diligence and enthusiasm. Dirk and Roxy are actually kind of excited to get a good, solid primer on pre-fish queen life on earth, but the others react with varying levels of whinging. He doesn’t get it but decides to shrug it off.

And that is when John goes a little odd. He isn’t getting the tutoring. Technically, he’s still thirteen and hasn’t missed out on anything. He could go on to seventh grade without being behind, as long as he hasn’t forgotten everything in the intervening years. He isn’t acting jealous but there’s something going on with him that Dirk can’t quite figure out. He gives him a wide berth when that weirdness makes him grumpy.

“-don’t even know anymore.”

It comes from Jeff’s office while Dirk’s on the way to fetch some juice. He’s been reviewing the study materials Jeff passed out so they could get ready for the start of classes but needed some sugary brain lubrication to keep going. That isn’t Jeff’s voice, though. It’s John’s.

“It’s all right to be confused,” Jeff says, all gentle and soft the way he talks to any of them when they’re fragile. “It should be your decision. Whatever you decide, I will support you the whole way.”

Dirk hears John shifting around, fidgeting, and then he’s saying, “I can still have the ghost decals, right?”

“As long as Jake hasn’t veto’ed them.”

John snorts but it sounds genuinely amused instead of derisive. He mutters something too low to make out and then Dirk flashsteps into the kitchen just quickly enough to miss John leaving the office. The conversation doesn’t make much sense until the next day when Dirk comes down for lunch and John is sitting at the table, sixteen and wolfing down a grilled cheese sandwich as if nothing’s changed.

Dirk gives him a gauging look and then goes to find Roxy so they can fix John’s paperwork. He could ask but he doubts John would tell him, or make much sense if he happened to. He does send a message Jeff’s way to let him know. By the time Jeff gets home from work, he’s already got John enrolled with the rest of them and ready to go.

Things seem to be settling down with a finality Dirk isn’t sure how to trust. It seems too neat, too tidy, like maybe someone was just trying to finish their story and get on with something else. He keeps waiting for a shoe to drop and it keeps not happening. He has no idea how to feel about that.

The tutors turn out to be pretty kickass people. They test the lot of them to find out where their levels are and the set up personalized learning plans, apparently so no one gets too bored. Dirk appreciates this kind of efficiency even if Jane gives a heaping sigh at her own results. Then they’re off and Dirk runs at his typical all or nothing speed. Weird to do that when no one is going to die if he doesn’t. Takes a lot of the pressure off and just lets him enjoy the act of _learning_.

It’s nearing some kind of food frenzy fall holiday when Dirk gets the jolt he kept expecting before. He’d taken to checking the news in the mornings because his tutor liked debating current events with him in the breaks, and that’s how he’s the first one in the household to see it.

“-message originates from deep space and not from any of our currently exploring satellites,” the news lady says with all seriousness despite the excitement she’s barely keeping under wraps. “Despite the contents, it has been agreed by all leading authorities that the message is indeed genuine. World leaders are currently convening to discuss the meaning of the message and any actions that are to be taken. The message was sent both in English and in a language completely unknown on Earth. It is unknown why English was chosen. We have been given permission to show the message in full here.”

The image switches to a readout of the message from space. It’s written in Troll lettering but the English equivalent is printed under each line.

“Chief Ambassassin Vantas, Scout Ship Antecedent: HEY, GLOBE MUNCHERS. ARE YOU DONE IGNORING THE REST OF THE (expletive) UNIVERSE NOW? BECAUSE WE’RE WITHIN THREE PERIGEES OF ARRIVING AT YOUR ANTERIOR HIVE FLAP FOR A (expletive) AMBASSASSINATION MISSION. YOU MIGHT WANT TO BUILD A DIPLOMATIC BARRACK FOR THIS ALIEN FORCE OF FRIENDSHIP.

“KANAYA SAYS HI AND HOPES THE PROGRAM BROADCASTS YOU’RE SENDING OUT DON’T ACTUALLY REFLECT THE FASHION OF YOUR PEOPLE BECAUSE SOMETHING, SOMETHING, I REALLY DON’T CARE ABOUT WHO IS WEARING SKIRTS OVER PANTS.

“ALSO, DID YOU KNOW YOUR FIFTH ORBITING PLANET HAS AN (expletive)? PLEASE TELL ME STRIDER ALREADY (expletive) POINTED THAT OUT.”

….Huh. Okay then. It’s about to get _really_ interesting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> END
> 
> Did I say trolls near the end? I meant AT the end. :D Thank you to everyone who stuck with me. I really loved working on this. Unfortunately, I have absolutely no story in mind for a sequel so I’m not planning on writing one. I am totally okay with anyone else taking the idea and running with it though! (just let me know so i can read it and then bask in your glory. And also so i can link it and stuff.) 
> 
> Now I know there are still a couple loose ends around and a lot happened outside of Dirk’s purview so I am reopening the POV shift prompts if anyone is interested. Just drop me a line on my tumblr, shadowwood, since that’s easier for me to keep track of than comments. :) Also you are free to ask me any questions you like that didn’t get answered before. At some point I might do some timestamps but I dunno on that. 
> 
> Anywho. Thank you for encouraging me. It’s been really fun :D

**Author's Note:**

> Just as a side note, feel free to come talk to me on tumblr. I'm shadowwood and i post dumb things.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [this.die [john's incredibly crappy retcon adventure]](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7033462) by [smallricochet](https://archiveofourown.org/users/smallricochet/pseuds/smallricochet)
  * [Days on the Other Side](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7094197) by [HikarySanoko18](https://archiveofourown.org/users/HikarySanoko18/pseuds/HikarySanoko18)




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